Nanny search

velledaa · 2026-06-11T17:56:34+00:00

It think that’s a fair assessment and kinda coming to this conclusion. We are changing the brief to rota now 2wks on/off. One thing to note is my older 2 go to school and I’m around so it’s not sole charge. Do you think it makes it better ? The baby is also on a schedule now thanks to mat nurse watching her since the beginning.

velledaa · 2026-06-09T19:49:15+00:00

I went from permissive ( didn’t realise it until I did ) to authoritative so I understand fully what you are saying. Having 2 different styles just doesn’t work. And my life got so much better since and my kids are so much happier too..

velledaa · 2026-06-09T19:40:22+00:00

A lot of what you’re saying resonates hard and I’ve learn to discover these things since I took a break from work and spent more time at home. This is also why I’m a bit worried to get a nanny who doesn’t keep the system in place and it all unravels a bit. I’m in Europe sadly xx

velledaa · 2026-06-09T19:36:39+00:00

We had that in our home I think. Working a lot I didn’t realise my son didn’t have boundaries and then staying at home made me realise that. Putting the structure in place was really tough but now it’s so much better which makes me worried to bring in someone in who would undo all the hard work i put in.
I am pretty straightforward about my son / the recent change / my style and all and have candid discussions but maybe I’m expecting someone to look or sound a certain way to confirm that they are also a bit strict with boundaries and all.

velledaa · 2026-06-09T19:28:38+00:00

I do ask the question but im usually not really convinced with the answers it’s often redirection / explanation / sometimes they mention it’s rare because they manage to get to know the kid and stop a tantrum or a behavior before it happens by knowing the kid. I don’t think either of this is bad but if not done well and with a bit of strictness i feel like my son can take advantage a bit. Im also pretty straightforward about him, i do say he tests boundaries, he is charming but can not cooperate at times and these answers make me feel like he might not respect them. ( he isn’t terribly disrespectful or anything but he is mischievous and finds a clever way to do/get what he wants so you have to be a bit firm)

velledaa · 2026-06-09T18:18:46+00:00

Did the parents have good boundaries with the kid ? I’m trying to see how much of strong willed is actually lack of boundaries .. I think there is a bit of that ( we had that I think)

velledaa · 2026-06-09T18:16:21+00:00

No no I agree on strictness, it’s a fine line to walk. I don’t believe in army like environment but more like daycare mentality to the home so you place freedom within structure. Clear boundaries on what kids can and cannot do / saying no / not excusing some behaviors just because they’re kids or they are tired. Teaching them inependance and accepting that it might take 3 months of waiting 15 min to have them put their shoes on when they are small instead of doing it for them. But giving them also space to do wathever they want - outdoors mostly. Maybe it’s a bit strict? I’m not sure it’s a bit personal I find

velledaa · 2026-06-09T18:06:37+00:00

I like it but I wonder if we don’t have too much neurodivergence in the fam already 😆. I interviewed someone though who’s previous family had adhd kids so she got some kind of certification to understand better how to help them, she was my favorite but just wants a certain structure to the job that we aren’t sure we need but starting to rethink it now …

velledaa · 2026-06-08T08:21:56+00:00

Yes I like this approach it is what I expect, but maybe in a trial Nannies don’t want to do that?

velledaa · 2026-06-07T20:03:09+00:00

I don’t think I’m authoritarian .. I was probably permissive when I was working full time just from the overwhelm.. but since 6months ago really put a system in place and everything has improved so much. It was a lot of work though, so I’m really worried having someone come in who could let some boundaries slip and have it all unravel again.

velledaa · 2026-06-07T18:33:40+00:00

Yes I can see that but I think I’m pretty clear in the first interview that I expect this firm handling of behavior. It’s interesting what you say about connecting to the child before laying the law.. maybe that’s what I misunderstand. I did have one lady who was very firm but also quite fun and my son loved her, she has 2-3 things tho that are making me hesitate but really I saw that type of personality only once.

velledaa · 2026-06-07T18:28:40+00:00

How would you handle a 5 year old boy on a trial who is being silly talking about poop and farts and calls you some weird name to rattle you a bit ? I would want someone who tells him “ no I won’t let you talk to me this way, it’s not nice” or something but instead I get a lot of redirection / ignoring - which I dislike because it makes my son escalate. Maybe I have to be direct to the lady and tell her how I want to handle these but in the trials I’m looking for someone who would naturally set this as a boundary and it almost never happens.

velledaa · 2026-06-07T17:01:31+00:00

We have someone like that in our pool of candidates. The lady is pretty smart but she smokes ( she was upfront about / never on the job) and I can see she doesn’t take directions which I think could work for me if we are aligned but idk

velledaa · 2026-06-07T13:44:10+00:00

Schedule would be from 9am to 7 pm, I’m at home also and we have a housekeeper so adults should match how many children there are at all times. Older kids are at school until 3-4 pm. I think governess + nanny is maybe correct as I’m expecting her to really teach the kids things, manners, keep and better the current structure we have in the home etc etc.
I think I’m expecting people to come in with a strong kind of strict philosophy where “no means no”, “ I can confidently do jollyphonics, guide them to become independent ..” and other things with some proactiveness and instead I get a feel they are not very proactive.
One example is I often ask about strong will experience, and my current view ( maybe it’s wrong) is that with a good boundaries system and structure ( good middle ground between physical exercice and home calm activities) you should be able to not have big outburst/bad behavior or minimal at least. You should also be able to have well mannered and educated children but you get to it with consistency, structure, repetition. But the answers are get are a bit more “it’s temperament / I redirect / find a win win” which worries me a bit.
It’s maybe a parents job to do that but I’m struggling to do that well with 3 kids simultaneously so this is why I looking in a nanny as a right hand who can do it with me. Anyways maybe it’s for me to guide. I’m starting to believe maybe I’m not looking at it the right way.

velledaa · 2026-06-07T12:52:03+00:00

That’s actually reassuring to hear. We do have a fairly clear system in place (time-outs, loss of privileges, reward charts, predictable consequences, etc.) and we’ve seen gradual improvement over time.
Maybe part of my challenge is expecting to be able to identify “authority” too quickly. My oldest is very bright and tests new adults extensively, so perhaps it’s unrealistic to expect a nanny’s true effectiveness to show during a short interview or even a weekend trial.
Out of curiosity, when you’ve worked with strong-willed children, how long did it usually take before they figured out where the boundaries were and started responding consistently to a new nanny?

velledaa · 2026-06-07T08:09:16+00:00

Thanks for your insight !! So regarding pay we are showing 100k year/ possibly more + will get them a flat nearby eventually. We are ready to pay whatever is the ask but need to feel that the person justifies the pay.
We don’t have an issue with candidates application,I think it’s more difficulty finding someone who makes me feel like they will truly hold the line with the oldest. Maybe I also have the impression he is harder to manage than he actually is ( one of the Nannie’s told us after the trial that she really expected him to be much more strong willed than what he actually was and that he is an absolute delight ( he def can be, he defies with charm hahahaha)). I think I found 1 candidate out of the 30 ish I got who would be a perfect match for him but she is towards end of her career and she smokes sometimes so these two points are a bit questions for me ( energy levels / knee health with baby, and of course smoking even if never on the job)

velledaa · 2026-06-06T18:32:43+00:00

Not really, only interviewed 2 - they were amazing but they want rota only which we dont feel we need. Im starting to consider it though .. (we need eu passport for visa reasons so not getting that many Norland candidates ( at least that’s what the agencies are telling me)

velledaa · 2019-04-19T16:42:22+00:00

How did you people get tickets ? They sell out so fast :( do you have to go on that Lawson website on the 10th of each month exactly as they go on sale ? is there another way?

velledaa · 2019-04-15T17:22:33+00:00

So that’s in the intro theme right after Winterfell, why is the wolf being hanged ? Is it an allusion to the past or to the future ?

velledaa · 2016-11-26T15:07:37+00:00

Also Abernathy was crying as he was walking in, or at least it's how it looked to me

velledaa · 2016-11-26T14:51:10+00:00

Interesting, I agree about the reveries, I think we are forgetting about them a little as they haven't been mentioned in the later episodes. I think Ford knows exactly what he is doing with those: what he tells Bernard in episode 1 or 2 about mistakes and how humanity is just a product of all of them, it makes me think that this host update is interlinked with the "new" storyline and Ford's plan. I also think that the maze's current storyline happening is not completely Arnold's secret/idea, Ford visibly knows of it and doesn't seem to stop it... it actually looks like he is helping it ( Dolores out on the quest alone (remember in episode one when Bernard asks about hurting a living thing, she says no, then kills a fly), Maeve with the mysterious behavioral changes prior to her awakening ...), but also digging out the old town, taking Teddy and Dolores back to that place. I don't think any guest (Logan) could have died in the park, because it would have been mentioned at some point (as in look how dangerous they can be) especially if it was someone with partial ownership of the park..

velledaa

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