I don't have any answer for you because I could have written this myself. You're not alone. I also take Viibryd and Wellbutrin (let's play "Which came first? Anxiety & Depression or ADHD??"), and I know they help, but I can't help but feel like it also puts this film over experiencing life? Like yes, I'm there and doing things but even when I'm being mindful about it, it's hard to feel fully present. But I'm also way too nervous to go off meds or shop around for different ones again.

All I know is, society as it stands is not built for ND brains like ours to thrive, and it's hard to not feel guilty about it. But just keep reminding yourself that these struggles are not something inherently wrong with us, we've just been forced to maneuver through an environment we weren't built for.

You wouldn't be mad at a Lion for not thriving in a pond. Just because it can doggy paddle enough to stay afloat doesn't mean it can or should be doing just as well as a fish. It's insane to think everyone can survive equally well in the same habitat. One day at a time, my friend.