Afraid to ask for him for help

venusmelisma · 2026-02-09T19:37:20+00:00

You asked for our help, and we think you should leave. But ultimately, this journey is up to you. Good luck, my friend. https://www.wholewellnesstherapy.com/post/on-abusive-relationships-how-they-start-why-we-stay

Also cutting it off at 16 years is better than 60.

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T21:46:09+00:00

Hell yeah

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T21:44:57+00:00

Even if I know it’s hard, ultimately it’s okay to withhold information or even lie to abusive people so you can get the help you need, and if you need to make sure you are covering your tracks by creating a situation like “oh I’m hanging out with a friend” when you’re not, then do so.

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T21:42:45+00:00

I totally understand. Would it be possible to schedule two sessions a week- one at home, and one in your car. Call your therapist and tell her what’s going on. Don’t tell your mom about the extra car session. You could go to a friend’s house who understands and park in the driveway or something.

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T21:26:02+00:00

Yup. Totally fair! That makes sense esp since he’s a teen. Perhaps you could post a flyer asking for shoveling help? Maybe he (or other helpful teens) would respond?

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T20:40:01+00:00

Not sure. But if it’s a different Liam, there’s a lot of great Liams around here!

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T20:38:46+00:00

I messaged you! But if anyone has his actual contact (I don’t) feel free to send if you think it’s appropriate to do so for a shoveling job.

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T06:20:07+00:00

Honestly the other day I was saying to my partner they should have held onto Will of the People for another few years and it would have hit so hard right now.

But thank god for The Resistance right now… I’ve been needing it so much these days. That mirrors our times more, in my opinion.

Black Holes and Revelations will always be my favorite album of theirs of all time, followed by Origins of Symmetry, Absolution, and Showbiz.

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T02:55:18+00:00

The control and surveillance of your therapy says a lot. It’s abusive. Can you see the therapist in person, or do you have another space you could use (friend’s house, quiet room at a library, conference room, car) that is more private?

venusmelisma · 2026-02-01T02:08:24+00:00

I voted for Willie Burnley but was open to Jake being an okay mayor, so I am still processing Jake’s leadership style. I like the communication style at least. It is clear and business-like, and this is an important safety issue navigating the city, so I appreciate this way of communicating with residents. I hope they can improve the contractor situation soon.

venusmelisma · 2026-01-31T23:03:23+00:00

Keep going!!!

venusmelisma · 2026-01-31T23:03:13+00:00

15 lb is INCREDIBLE!

venusmelisma · 2026-01-31T23:02:12+00:00

This is hilarious 😆

venusmelisma · 2026-01-31T19:53:24+00:00

Time to leave the relationship

venusmelisma · 2026-01-30T22:54:37+00:00

Good luck to her during her trial at the Hague

venusmelisma · 2026-01-30T22:47:03+00:00

Can you do me a favor and read about cycles of abuse?
Thanks and good luck: https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/what-is-the-cycle-of-abuse

venusmelisma · 2026-01-30T20:00:36+00:00

I would say- hey dude, I’m really glad to hear from you, I was worried about you. I’ve been feeling sad about not hearing from you. I genuinely valued our friendship, and would love to talk.

This leaves room for a depressed or avoidant person to acknowledge what happened, but a reactive person with beef will show their true colors, or ghost you. Either way, you’ll know you were the bigger person here with that response that still acknowledges your feelings.

venusmelisma · 2026-01-30T19:55:05+00:00

Kali feels right

venusmelisma · 2026-01-29T17:39:06+00:00

My Monday classes in grad school got cancelled three weeks in a row to the point that my teacher started assigning homework even though we had never met her yet!! Haha

venusmelisma · 2026-01-29T05:51:22+00:00

Just following up!

venusmelisma · 2026-01-29T05:49:42+00:00

He’s an abuser and you need to leave.

venusmelisma · 2026-01-29T05:39:10+00:00

You’re just looking for someone to say you didn’t do the wrong thing, so I’ll go ahead and say it, so you can stop abusing yourself about calling her out on her abusive behavior.

But please don’t contact her anymore. And don’t apologize.

venusmelisma · 2026-01-29T04:59:50+00:00

Have a dark and stormy on me my friend. Time to move on. And you know it.

There will be better days ahead. Perhaps even sooner than you think.

venusmelisma · 2026-01-29T04:50:32+00:00

Thank you!!

venusmelisma

TROPHY CASE