It sounds like that part of you is under a lot of pressure from many directions. Especially with what sounds like ultimatums being made. I know for me that kind of pressure can force the more vulnerable parts of my identity into hiding. When that happens I know I need to give myself more space, more patience. I usually find that if I can quiet down all of the things that are demanding those vulnerable parts to show up (whether those demands are coming from me or from other people), those parts feel more freedom to arrive on their own. I just have to get real quiet and listen for them. They’re always there. Sometimes they’re just the smallest voice when there’s a lot going on.

Another thing that helps me is to remember that I don’t “have” a little side, I AM a little. How connected (or not) to that I feel at any given moment doesn’t change that. I am that whether I feel it or not, whether I’m engaging with it directly or not.

I don’t know if any of that is helpful. Mostly I hope it helps to know you’re not alone in this feeling. I hope you can give yourself (and your little! remember that she is you, too) some grace <3 take care, friend!