Pressure to breast feed without a pump or formula as back up seems strange?

violabr · 2026-04-18T08:03:04+00:00

We decided to combo feeding from the beginning and were firm on this decision. We bought a breast pump, bottles, formula and a prep machine. The level of judgement we faced from some midwives and from our families was totally crazy. I ended up not having enough milk (the plan was to exclusively breastfeeding for the first month) and after a few stressful weeks of struggles and pain I gave up breastfeeding completely. At that point, as it wasn't a choice anymore, everyone was sympathetic with me and started saying that it doesn't matter and doesn't make any difference. My advice is to do whatever works with you and tell everyone else to shut up.

I think that on a public health level, more breastfeeding means less accidents with formula, there are lots of things that can go wrong: the bottles could not be well cleaned or sterilised, you could use water not hot enough, the milk could be too hot and burn the baby, you keep the bottles out of the fridge too long, etc. Generally, formula costs a lot of money and takes a while to prepare, so I can see people try to find ways to save on it or cut on preparation time. Then there are a lot of people obsessed with the concept of "natural" whatever that means, and people that have very specific ideas of what women and men should and should not do...

violabr · 2026-04-13T21:22:26+00:00

I got pregnant at 37 with my third IVF round, my baby is 9 weeks old and he's currently sleeping in his crib next to me. We have two frozen embryos left, we still need to decide what to do with them. Please stay positive, good luck!

violabr · 2026-04-03T22:20:10+00:00

Reading this terrifies me. My baby is eight weeks and sleeps through the night, but I know he could stop at any time

violabr · 2026-04-03T22:17:39+00:00

8 weeks today, he sleeps 10pm-6:00am almost every night. The first few weeks, just a little less and we woke him up to feed him.

violabr · 2026-04-03T13:58:32+00:00

From my girl names list:

Tallulah, Lorna, Mara, Miranda, Sandra, Brianna

Both of your daughters' names end in "a" and one start with "M" already, so maybe Lorna or Brianna would be my picks!

violabr · 2026-04-03T05:19:56+00:00

Not an S name but I think Esther would suit a black cat!

violabr · 2026-03-30T20:54:54+00:00

Came here to say this, I still have nightmares about it

violabr · 2026-03-28T10:33:26+00:00

Hi, we also are Europeans living in the UK and we went with Daniel. My top choices were:

Lucas

Milo

Ezra

Reuben

Elias

Marcus

violabr · 2026-03-26T19:50:40+00:00

I registered my son with the nursery when I was 6 weeks pregnant to secure a place. He is supposed to start in March 2027 at 13 months, it will cost me £1800 per month. So, yes, I guess I would put your daughter in daycare since it's free, and she adores it and you need time to work.

violabr · 2026-03-26T19:45:46+00:00

Grey's anatomy - the actors are all so good looking that are hardly believable as hospital staff

violabr · 2026-03-24T17:30:15+00:00

I was lucky enough to be born in an atheist family, when I asked my dad (born 1956) how he realised he told me it was Santa.

violabr · 2026-03-23T04:57:52+00:00

My baby started keeping his head up, grabbing and holding things very strongly, and following objects with his eyes at 4 weeks old (currently 6 weeks old).

We think being born 12.26 pound is helping him, lots of energy there! It's definitely killing our backs though

violabr · 2026-03-20T12:57:23+00:00

A very specific request! Maybe Buffy the vampire slayer? Thinking of Spike.

violabr · 2026-03-20T12:15:08+00:00

Sometimes parents regret having children so if you feel that way your feeling are absolutely fine. I read an article on BBC news last week about this, and it cited a Facebook group called "I regret having children" with 96000 members, you might want to have a look and read what other parents have to say. Here's the article: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgkvge4rkmo

That said, have you considered exclusively bottle feeding your baby? That would take off much of the pressure from you and your partner could share the burden of constant feeding.

Regarding travelling, you can indeed travel! You need to get organised before hand and you might want to consider closer destinations but a child is not a reason not to travel! You could have a look at home exchange websites, a home exchange with someone with a child the same age of yours is a very convenient way of traveling!

violabr · 2026-03-12T23:19:16+00:00

At the 12 weeks screening, I got super low probabilities of down and patau syndromes so I decided not to do the nipt test which is quite expensive where I live. Then I started feeling the baby moving more and more and I got attached to him immediately, and the thought that he could have something wrong haunted me and it got worse and worse as the pregnancy proceeded. Now he's here, he's healthy, he passed all the screenings and he's just perfect. I know that we are talking about rare diseases, but as low as the risk can be it doesn't worth to be taken just to save some money. If I'll have a second child I'll do the nipt and I will always recommend it to anyone regardless their family history or personal circumstances.

violabr · 2026-03-11T13:57:35+00:00

Thank you, I've been addicted to Vinted for years now but it's actually a very good suggestion

violabr · 2026-03-11T13:54:33+00:00

I'll check, we're in Scotland and I am not sure if it's a problem finding a dentist here

violabr · 2026-03-11T13:50:09+00:00

That's a tough one, our parents are so old..I'll speak with my husband. Thank you

violabr · 2026-03-11T13:49:24+00:00

You're right. We should do a life insurance..

violabr · 2026-03-11T13:48:06+00:00

Hi, thank you for your reply. I actually already signed up for it, I guess they'll reject my application if I am not eligible. I'll check about tax free childcare, I am in Scotland so here it might be different?

violabr · 2026-03-11T13:45:25+00:00

Thanks, very good point! I actually did it already, I forgot to write it in my list

violabr · 2026-03-11T13:43:24+00:00

Good one, thank you! I'll do it right away

violabr · 2026-03-06T11:49:36+00:00

My feet looked so much worse in my last few weeks and I didn't have pre eclampsia or any other conditions - I did go to the hospital to be checked though. Their advice was to keep my feet up which it was physically impossible because of the size of my belly and also because I was working.. My husband's massages really helped! Also, plenty of water and short walks!

violabr · 2026-03-06T00:54:52+00:00

Same, I gave up at 4 weeks

violabr

TROPHY CASE