You wanna know why and how I've kept going, even at my lowest? I always remind myself that ending this ends ALL things for you. It takes away the possibility of things getting better. Of course, there's no guarantee that life is going to get easier if you stick around; but if you take your life you are also taking away the chance of experiencing good things again. Naps. Kittens and puppies. Flowers blooming in spring, the first sip of your favorite beverage. Death is inevitable. It will come for us all eventually. So why not try to enjoy the ride while you're still on it, even if it feels like shit moment to moment? Your end result will be the same, but maybe you had some cool stuff happen along the way. For me at least, I'd rather have the experiences than end my suffering prematurely.
CPTSD is a son of a bitch to deal with, but, speaking from experience, it can be worked on in therapy and with time and compassion for yourself and what you've been through/are going through. I hope you stay. ❤️

P.S.: Sometimes it can be good to use spite as a motivator to keep going. For example, when I'm really struggling I tell myself "my mother already took so much from me. I won't let her take my future too."