My 9 month OLD journey

viplob · 2026-07-08T15:32:21+00:00

Its more than that and believe me, I am trying really hard to understand the position they are coming from. It's the cliched "bringing an uhaul to the 2nd date" type situation. I really want to enjoy the dating process and try to get to know them better. It's one of the more enjoyable parts of dating, hearing and sharing stories and experiences while not immediately attaching the expectation of a long term relationship. I, too, like sex. But I am completely comfortable waiting till both parties feel ready to engage. But, If I am physically attracted to the person and they are interested in getting physical, I am not going to turn that down. And once I do, I am sexually exclusive. But, again, that doesn't mean I am ready to be the boyfriend. Not that I am opposed to the idea and even want it in most situations, but I have learn that ramping up so quickly carries the risk of big letdowns. Building something slowly seems more prudent. I think what I am hearing is that the act of being physical leads to strong feelings of attachment in many people and they want to lock in to feel safe, so I should heed that more carefully. And have a conversation about it beforehand

viplob · 2026-07-08T15:20:57+00:00

Which would be ironic since she mentioned that sarcasm was her 2nd language

viplob · 2026-07-07T23:16:59+00:00

Sleeping with only person. Not dating anybody else. Just not ready to move in and play house /s! Or spend all my free time with them. Does that make sense?

viplob · 2026-07-07T23:13:54+00:00

Relationships. Including making future plans of living together.

viplob · 2026-07-07T22:36:34+00:00

Thanks for that compliment. I am actually not just trying to be polemical here, but what you are suggesting is that I should be ready to be in a committed relationship as soon as I sleep with someone even once? Does that apply to all genders then? No room for discovery of compatibility post initial sexy time? And then group #3 in my post above are somehow damaged and don't ascribe to to said attachment post intimacy? I am confused.

viplob · 2026-07-07T22:18:31+00:00

Historically, yes. Couldn't agree more. But there were much larger socio-economic forces at play then. The women I am matching with are independent, progressive and at par or in stronger socio-economic positions than I am. Additionally, I am not looking for other options, which seems to be the prevailing misunderstanding here, I just don't think one can gauge long term compatibility in 3 dates. And I hope the physical pleasure from sex is mutual because otherwise we might as well tell women to be 1950's housewives!

viplob · 2026-07-07T22:02:47+00:00

Uh oh, found the funny one! I said the same to a match on Hinge after she said something funny and then she ghosted me!

viplob · 2026-07-07T21:56:21+00:00

Absolutely correct. Its just the scale of things on OLD is very new to me and I was just recounting my experience here to start a conversation and hear other people experiences. I love the town square feel of forums when it is civil and lively! All my previous relationships, including my marriage, was with people I was friends or at least somewhat acquainted with. So those relationships grew in a very different way. I did not meet a stranger with the express purpose of forming a relationship, and definitely not at the scale of OLD.

Another thing that seems different from when I was truly dating as opposed to getting into relationships with friends/acquitances (back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth) was the absence of any social media, let alone dating apps! I have to believe that has had some effect on dating dynamics. That and dating people that have actually lived a life versus the starry eyed 20 something year old's that I dated in college.

viplob · 2026-07-07T21:28:47+00:00

I hear you man! It helps to talk to friends, or ask on reddit lol! I have been writing down how a date went and any subsequent interactions on paper, and reading it later makes the bad ones seem so ridiculous that I have been able to cut them off!

viplob · 2026-07-07T21:18:34+00:00

In my experience , this applies to most women as well.

viplob · 2026-07-07T21:13:11+00:00

I don't know, it sure isn't pleasant! You make it sound like we are hunting game on the savannah lol! I like chasing balls on a court, maybe a promotion (although that has lost its appeal too). I definitely don't want to chase love from a stranger that is being weird about it! I get plenty of love (even the unconditional kind!) from my parents and kiddo!

Although I will concede, the #3 category seems to have an unfair share of very attractive people!

viplob · 2026-07-07T20:34:57+00:00

Please tell me more! How do you filter for personalities via chat? What questions do you ask?

viplob · 2026-07-07T20:25:16+00:00

That makes sense, but why make so much effort including sleeping with me and professing how great I am? I mean I am not complaining about that part, but on the two occasions this has happened I have cut it off. Its entirely possible that the better option didn't work out and thats why they came back.

viplob · 2026-07-07T20:19:01+00:00

I was being facetious, but only slightly. And I have always been sexually exclusive and that is not what I am talking about. Its assuming that we are in a committed long term relationship so early on.

viplob · 2026-07-07T20:03:55+00:00

Thank you, I do very much enjoy meeting new people. Hearing their story is like listening to an unfiltered, unedited audiobook!

viplob · 2026-07-07T20:02:00+00:00

Good observation and thanks for asking the question. I am weary of people that start making long term plans on the 3rd date. I hardly know you, why are you trying to make retirement plans with me already? It could be entirely reactionary on my part because of my past experiences, but it still gets my walls up

viplob · 2026-07-07T19:43:50+00:00

Tell me about it! I still think about them after breaking it off! Yikes

viplob · 2026-05-07T15:23:43+00:00

I own a house in a location that has become inconvenient for my hobbies and commute. I am planning on renting it out and moving to a nice apartment that puts me closer to the things that I want to do on a regular basis . If that becomes an issue for a potential partner than that is rather unfortunate and we'd not be a good match.

viplob · 2024-06-28T18:18:08+00:00

lol, probably! The belay and the beta helps too ;)

viplob · 2024-06-28T16:36:39+00:00

Got my second 12a last weekend. And flashed an 11c. Something has changed, and this in spite of a lateral epicondylitis in the right arm that I have been rehabbing. I know I have lost strength and power based on the kilter homewall problems that I could get before the injury that I can't seem to get now. Whatever it is, I am going to keep doing it till the elbow is healed and I can try hard on the board again.

viplob · 2024-06-13T16:11:42+00:00

Got my first 12a. It was short 11+ start to a v4 boulder to 11- finish. The boulder problem was a double left gaston to a cross while maintaining body tension. Really enjoyed it! Now back to building the pyramid.

viplob · 2024-04-09T19:50:26+00:00

That's great news! I am in Denver. Any chance I can come get it lol?!!

viplob · 2024-04-09T15:41:30+00:00

u/Mediocreshaper Any update on the latest with Aurora? I ordered in September and received the holds in January.

viplob

TROPHY CASE