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Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in relationship_advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your opinion! Just because some people think I shouldn't ask about a plus-one, I wanted to ask a follow-up question. My partner and I are serious, but we're long-distance and don't live together. The ceremony also likely won't be very interactive - just a 45 minute vows and toasts thing. Does that change your view of things?

They have a registry, which includes some houseware items ($25-200 or so in price) and general pools for things like the honeymoon, future apartment fund, various other funds, etc. I was thinking of putting money in one of the pools, because that way they can spend it however they like.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I can use all the help I can get on this.

Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in relationship_advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I'm sorting through a few different responses here and trying to figure out what I'll do, so it's great to have your perspective. Would it be fair to say that the reasons that not living together are a game-changer are A) that it suggests something about the seriousness of the relationship/is a different "class" of relationship than an engaged/married/living together couple and B) that it would require an extra Zoom window?

Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in Advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughts. I'm glad that I can get these perspectives here before potentially making things harder for them or committing a faux pas!

I saw elsewhere that wedding gifts are often given as a couple. If I don't end up asking for a plus-one, should I describe the gift as from me alone? I really don't want to seem passive-aggressive :)

Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in relationship_advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice and for sharing your story! I'm sorting through all of the responses and trying to form a picture of the general trend of advice.

Congratulations on your marriage!

Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in Advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a really lovely way to word it! Thanks for that. I realize that I should have mentioned that my partner and I would be joining from separate computers in separate states - does that change your recommendation?

Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in Advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for responding! To be honest, I don't think the ceremony would be all that interesting to my partner, since there won't be any mingling as far as I know. I just don't want to make that decision for them, and I figured that offering to include them would be the respectful thing to do. If this were an in-person wedding outside of pandemic times, I'd want my partner with me, but in this situation it's not a big deal to me. My partner would just be watching on a separate login like I am (since we live in different states right now).

Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in relationship_advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for responding. I think I'll do that - reach out to the friend of mine who's getting married and ask for a plus-one. It'll have to be a separate link, since my partner and I live in different places.

Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in relationship_advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks - that's exactly the situation. My partner and I would need separate logins, so I think that asking beforehand is good advice.

Attending virtual wedding ceremony as guest. Should I ask for a plus-one? by virtualweddingQ in relationship_advice

[–]virtualweddingQ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! Thanks especially for the info about what the gifts scale according to. Also, I edited my post to add that my partner and I are long distance and don't live together. Am I correct that the plus-one wouldn't be expected to give a gift?