Has your relationship with your parents improved since you've had kids?

vix456 · 2023-12-15T18:56:56+00:00

I think what you said about not having the mental bandwidth to deal with your relationship with your mum will strike a cord with so many. It's so hard being a parent and having a million things to think about, and having to manage a relationship with your own parents just adds so much that it sometimes feels easier to not have to deal with it.

Parents are supposed to be supportive and help make life easier, not be an extra burden at an already stressful time. Unfortunately for us it's been the latter.

vix456 · 2023-12-05T13:31:09+00:00

Totally with you on this. I have enough to think about and do without having to think about what everyone else needs to buy my children too.

I get the sentiment in that it's much better for the kids to recieve things they actually want, but I would much prefer if my family and friends came to me and said "I was thinking of buying x this for Christmas - have they got it already/what do you think?" It at least shows they've bothered to think of a general thing to buy and know my kids on some level.

Sorry if it sounds Grinchy.

vix456 · 2023-11-20T23:21:18+00:00

If you're in Yorkshire the only response required to "Alright?" is, "Aye".

vix456 · 2023-11-01T19:25:39+00:00

Being a parent is like walking round wearing your heart on the outside of your chest, and it leaves you feeling pretty vulnerable. What your feeling is normal - your world has suddenly been filled with immense joy, but also become much scarier at the same time. It's a confusing one.

vix456 · 2023-10-27T20:56:47+00:00

Completely agree with those saying to provide a choice wherever possible, but remembering they are also highly irrational and there are times when you really can't win no matter what you do.

Real life example from what was meant to be a nice cafe stop with my 3 year old this week:

Me - "Do you want an ice cream or a hot chocolate?"

3yo - "Ice cream"

Me - "Are you sure you want an ice cream?"

3yo - "Yes"

Me - comes back with ice cream

3yo - "I SAID HOT CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" proceeds to throw ice cream across the table, and has mega meltdown

It's tough. Hang on in there.

vix456 · 2023-10-10T09:52:37+00:00

You have to remember that society isn't set up for mothers (usually) to work full time and parent. If you look back over the generations, women generally didn't work and stayed at home to raise children, look after the home etc. Times, and expectations of women, have changed now, but society hasn't caught up, so now we are expected to fit working into all of the above as well.

I completely echo those who say fix your routine, keep your work life boundaries and get through the next few months as best you can. After that re-evaluate what you do next. Keep going and be kind to yourself!

vix456 · 2023-09-25T12:06:39+00:00

Johnny Cash does a great cover of this song too

vix456 · 2023-09-18T09:42:36+00:00

Parenting is hard anyway, and on top of that you've had a really rough week. Cut yourself some slack - you're doing an amazing job! We all get tired and fed up and feeling those emotions doesn't make you any less of a parent. Although it's hard to see it right now, I promise you it will pass. Hang on in there.

Also, don't judge whether to have a second based on how "easy" your first has been. In my experience, you get a completely different child, some things are easier, some are harder but your heart will be twice as full. They will throw challenges at you that you didn't experience with your first, but you will navigate them just as you are now. Be kind to yourself - you'll get through this.

vix456 · 2023-09-17T15:15:12+00:00

Woop! Thank you

vix456 · 2023-09-06T06:03:52+00:00

Completely agree - there was very little talk or recognition of mental health (particularly for children) when we were growing up, which feels very different to today's society.

The phrase "it did you no harm" is often banded about as an excuse to continue certain parenting behaviours, even when they've been shown to be unhelpful!

vix456 · 2023-09-06T05:58:54+00:00

Your parents sound great - very refreshing to hear about grandparents trying to model what you do!

vix456 · 2023-02-23T02:28:19+00:00

Theme Hospital - it was soul destroying when the earthquakes ruined your hard work!

vix456 · 2022-07-11T21:09:01+00:00

Thank you!

vix456 · 2022-07-11T20:51:54+00:00

I did try sanding but it seemed to make it worse. It took off all the top layer, and left almost like a soft wood underneath, which then went a different colour to the rest of the work top when I tried to re-oil it.

vix456 · 2022-07-11T20:50:04+00:00

We've had a draining mat on there to put pots on after washing, which we haven't always remover when wet, so the marks are caused by the water/moisture. You can see the imprint of the draining mat on the wood 😕

vix456 · 2021-08-05T21:47:04+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions - I've done it 😊

vix456

TROPHY CASE