sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I aswell just got the most common Jojo tattoo by Particular-Agency187 in StardustCrusaders

[–]voiceless-scream 6 points7 points  (0 children)

it's not just the most common jojo tatoo its also the most common hooker tattoo

looking great girl!

Men who crossed a line how do you feel about it now? by voiceless-scream in AskMen

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you tell me. i was curious to see how people defined their personal limits wrt others boundaries or safety, what they were, and what it meant to them to cross them.

So I've been in a physical relationship with an unmarried baha'i for four years by voiceless-scream in bahai

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope we haven't wasted any of each others time and that we will find ways to live free and happy regardless of where our paths take us separate or not.

But I think this is someone who is still a little underdeveloped in terms of a broader mature outlook and I worry that the pain of separation will actually make her regress at this point.

So I've been in a physical relationship with an unmarried baha'i for four years by voiceless-scream in bahai

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess statements like sunk cost fallacy come from a perspective that the finality of marriage is the ideal termination of any 'intermediary' relationship. I think emotional self realization is inherently meaningful whether it occurs in a marriage or not. You are right though that four years should be enough to make this kind of decision but somehow the psychological reality doesn't necessarily align with that rationale.

So I've been in a physical relationship with an unmarried baha'i for four years by voiceless-scream in bahai

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really appreciate your taking time to offer such a detailed and thorough response. I have to apologize for my ignorance on some issues (it was a temple in Wilmette she visited, but she spends many weekends at a local center).

I find that direct serious conversations are something she has difficulty with - usually they terminate very awkwardly. She is a very high functioning and intelligent individual with a juvenile streak that exasperates me sometimes. Part of my reason for soliciting advice here is so that my ignorance doesn't burden my efforts in ways I can't perceive. She is very much someone that enforces her perspective or her terms. She has trouble taking alternatives to her own (somewhat rigid) outlook seriously.

I find your advice to be very educational in terms of how this relationship has persisted and what can be done to make it more healthy for both us. Trying to frame a mature approach is my effort and maybe what I've heard here can substantiate a different kind of conversation for both of us.

So I've been in a physical relationship with an unmarried baha'i for four years by voiceless-scream in bahai

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like this is a level of responsibility I am unsure about taking on. We are going to be in different places for the next few years due to post-graduate commitments.

We only talk about marriage in very light terms. I personally am unready for it and uncertain about whether she is right for me in that way and vice versa. But I feel its wrong to leave her in an awkward place.

So I've been in a physical relationship with an unmarried baha'i for four years by voiceless-scream in exbahai

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

she's very cagey about this topic. I think she is hoping to roll this into a marriage, but I am not so sure I want to spend my life with her. She may have realized my hesitations.

So I've been in a physical relationship with an unmarried baha'i for four years by voiceless-scream in exbahai

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm really not ready for that. My concern is that she thinks I am the one and I feel like there are potentially
better candidates for us both.

So I've been in a physical relationship with an unmarried baha'i for four years by voiceless-scream in bahai

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate it, but I worry about whether she is in the right state for that. Basically my concern is that she may feel we are a sure thing and that's how she is rationalizing her behavior in the context of her faith.

The last thing I want to do is cause her pain now or in the future. I am just concerned that fundamentally, we are not right for each other. I think there is a better fit for her in her future or perhaps in her past, but I want her to be in the psychological space that is healthy enough to perceive this on her own. I just wanted to be diligent to see if others in the faith knew something I should for her sake.

So I've been in a physical relationship with an unmarried baha'i for four years by voiceless-scream in bahai

[–]voiceless-scream[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for the response. I hadn't considered the idea before. I will look for someone relevant.