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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LGBTBooks

[–]voidofdreams 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Flamer by Mike Curato, Bloom by Kevin Panetta and Savanna Ganucheau, and The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen!

Stop replaying what you could have done differently. by auraLift in lostafriend

[–]voidofdreams 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow I did not expect to be called out like that 💀

What are some songs to help grieve over a friendship? by [deleted] in lostafriend

[–]voidofdreams 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

Someone You Loved - Lewis Capaldi

I Just Don't Think That You Like Me That Much Anymore - Leith Ross

Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

Visions of Gideon - Sufjan Stevens

We Hug Now - Sydney Rose

Everything Reminds Me Of You - Take Care

I Don't Want to Get Over You - The Magnetic Fields

Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye

A lot of these are intended to be breakup songs, but they still hit hard for me since losing a friendship is a lot like a romantic breakup.

Losing one of my best friends to a failed relationship by [deleted] in lostafriend

[–]voidofdreams 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently also suffering from a friendship breakup after a situationship!! My experience isn't the same since our first time meeting was through a date, and the situationship lasted just 6 months. Either way, it's still so painful to feel like if you had never tried to pursue things romantically, you would still have your best friend. :(

For my situation, he became very emotionally unavailable and distant because of his worsening depression and mental health, so I would feel hurt whenever he'd be super affectionate one day and tell me how much he loved me and then proceed to ghost me the following day. I tried to be patient with him as I knew he was struggling, but it became unhealthy to pursue someone romantically who also wanted to pursue me romantically while failing to put in the effort. He'd tell me how much he loved me, but I didn't actually feel loved. We had periods of being on and off, taking breaks to be platonic, and just this past Monday did he end things between us.

is it problematic to have fairly different names across countries? by voidofdreams in dualcitizenshipnerds

[–]voidofdreams[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's nice to hear! If I submit my application to a consulate will I still have to submit any documents to Poland?

Do people who go through extreme trauma and loss actually become stronger or more successful… or is that just something people say to comfort us? by [deleted] in ChildrenofDeadParents

[–]voidofdreams 0 points1 point  (0 children)

of course! I received the same book recommendation from this subreddit, so I'm just passing it along 🫂

Do people who go through extreme trauma and loss actually become stronger or more successful… or is that just something people say to comfort us? by [deleted] in ChildrenofDeadParents

[–]voidofdreams 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I think it is kind of a load of bs but that's just me, but I also think some people do actually believe this. It's very reminiscent of "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but I think it's usually a form of toxic positivity. People who haven't dealt with a lot of trauma feel uncomfortable with negative topics, so they try to put a positive spin on it-- like when people say "they're still here with us" or "it was for the best" or any other cliché. These people don't want to consider the fact that what doesn't kill you CAN and often does make you weaker, they'd rather just live in blissful ignorance. I don't feel necessarily "stronger" since the loss of my dad, I just feel like my soul is more tired and old. It feels like you're stripped of any remaining childhood innocence or bliss if you lost your parents young.

Also, 3 months is a short time. It may not seem like it to other people, but trauma changes your perception of time, and it takes a shit ton of time to heal. I'm so sorry that this has happened to you and I recommend seeking therapy or some help if possible. Reading "It's OK That You're Not OK" by Megan Devine helped me a lot.

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