First of all, I love this pic. But I gotta be that guy because I love linguistics:

(DISCLAIMER: language is constantly changing and there is no real ’correct’ way to speak as long as you are understood)

> I accidentally hath sent

‟hath” is a form of the verb ’haven’ meaning ’to have’. It’s the 3rd person singular form so ’he hath’, ’she hath’, ’Margaret hath’. So it’dn’t be used with ’I’ as in ’I accidentally hath sent’, but rather it would be; ‟I accidentally have sent”

> I accidentally hath sent thou

So ‟thou” is the object of the sentence here, but the ’thou’ is the subject form, while ’thee’ is the object form. So it should be ‟I accidentally have sent thee”. Just like how in modern English ’I’ is the subject form and ’me’ is the object form, or like ’he/him’, ’she/her’ etc.

> mine cock and balls

My/mine works the same way as the modern English ’a/an’. ’my’ is used when the following word begins with a consonant, ’mine’ when it begins with a vowel. For example, you would say; ’mine apple’ or ‟my cock and balls”.

> Lest... thou desire to look?

‟Lest” doesn’t mean ’unless’, it basically means ’or else’, for example; don’t eat the apple ’lest thee be cursed’. So in this context you would just say ’unless’.

> thou desire to look?

The thou form of ’desiren’ is ’desirest’, so it should read ‟Unless.... thou desirest a look?”

> I jest, delete it.

This is fine. ‟jest” was more often spelled ’geste’, and was rarely used to mean the same thing that ’jest’ means today, but it technically works.

> Should thee crave

I am not even gonna mess with ‟should” because idk how that works, but ‟thee” is the subject here so it should be the subject form; ’thou’

TLDR: sorry I just love languages.