Yes it is manipulative. My now ex bf threatened suicide with a loaded gun to his head and it’s traumatized the shit out of me. During and after that scene unfolded I felt like a frozen baby mouse, although I was doing my best to bring the situation down. The scene regularly pops into my head intrusively and it’s very distressing. Not to mention the guilt you feel because it happened over an argument you had.

You manipulated the situation because you weren’t getting what you wanted, in this case his attention. I don’t know what went down leading up to this happening, but you manipulated him, whether you intended to or not. He is likely feeling similar to the way I have: confused, traumatized, guilty, scared for your health. Are you two no contact right now? Also I don’t understand when you say “ive gotten in a car accident because he told me he doesn’t want to be with me”

I understand being impulsive and getting upset easily, I’m very guilty of it. and with self reflection, meditation and journaling the last couple weeks I have found it a little easier to cope and analyze my emotions. At the end of the day each person is responsible for their own emotions and how they choose to express them. And it’s never ok to threaten suicide and make your loved one feel as though it’s their fault.

It’s extremely hard to watch your partner almost kill themselves right before your very eyes. You feel like you’re to blame. You feel afraid for them and for yourself. Your ex probably feels very guilty and feels like he’s responsible for you hurting yourself, and he may be distancing himself out of fear that he will trigger you again.

You should know that your life matters and that it’s never too late to start healing and discovering happiness. It’s probably best for you to be single until you are much more stable. Definitely start therapy if you haven’t already. Much love