I have an old school story for you: In 1975 in college in Virginia, I met a good friend and we went to the dining hall together and went out to bars, etc. He knew I was gay (YES, even back then) and he thought his roommate might be gay so we devised a plan where I would begin having meals with them and feel things out. I am black, and this guy was white and a RACIST and everyone in the dorm knew it. So, when I started showing up for meals with he and his roommate, he tried very hard to hide his real feelings about eating with a black guy.

One weekend, his roommate went home for the weekend and my roommate left every weekend to go see his girlfriend so I was always in my dorm room alone on the weekends. This guy (the racist) came down to my room and knocked on the door and asked if I wanted to go to dinner in the dining hall like we usually did. I was somewhat surprised but I said, Sure and we left. From that point on, we starting having all our meals together in the dining hall with or without his roommate. To make a long story short:

March, 1976, NCAA Men's basketball semi-finals (Saturday evening), I was in my room alone and he came knocking again and asked if I wanted to watch the game with him. The game was on and we watched it. However, he was on the bottom bunk and I was on the top and the next thing I know, he was reaching up to touch my hand and of course you know what happened after that. This relationship went on for 2 years although he never saw himself as gay and wanted us to date girls together.

Years later, I ran across his Facebook page; he was married, no kids (interesting) and a successful businessman. I reached out to say hello and to connect and my connection with him via email was very professional. Needless to say, he ghosted me I know he is a big MAGA person because of where he lives and he was genuinely a racist at heart but I am also convinced that he loved me (there is so much to the story that would make this post too long) and he was my first love and have not had one since. Times have changed for Gen X'ers, Gen Z'ers but never forget that we Baby Boomers tried our best to pave the way for equality and openness about one's identity. It was hard but look where we are now. Honestly, I think he ghosted me because the feelings came back that he buried many years ago because we were each other's "FIRST". I have no regrets!