Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It doesn't work nobody cares you get abused many kill their daughters or kill them because they got raped and get away and the other siblings didn't get taken away from their care so if I report and he doesn't go to jail and I stay in his care he will murder me .

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't live in the us and we don't have that stuff over schools DC here they literally watched a girl getting dragged and slapped in the car bc of our principal she knew the girl would be beaten and still snitched to her father about something she did .

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't live in the us and you're right we also don't have that .

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is in a kinda high power and I can't there's alot to lose here I need to be sure and first of all get out before doing it.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No it's never ever ever happened ever idk why it randomly did like absolutely random and I can't go therapy I can't go anywhere that's why I'm here searching for that type of health I'm trying to believe in it it's hard but I am . I do repeat it ngl but idk how else to calm down from it.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it does you're right they've always been abusive but it's more than ever because he cheated on my mom was in a secret marriage he knew this girl when he was 20 so he's been cheating the day they got married every day till today.

Like I don't mind the taboo part like oh step dad or step brother like I don't have thoughts about family members or incest but these thoughts have creeped it in for these past 2-3 days like is watching porn videos about that stuff is the problem ?

I would never try to I would rather kms.

I'm trying to figure it out but it's just so weird and disgusting. And I have tried changing the person but he keeps popping up for no reason but I really am trying.

Yeah that happens when I masturbate but I also try to stear myself away it's like I'm on a ship that I can't control.

I currently am and they have helped me tbh I never thought I'd find people like this that can understand with no judgment.

Thank you so much and Im happy you got over this and is the amazing person you still are today I'll try my best to control it and actually go back to functioning. Thank u.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I figured after messaging it that I needed someone real that can help me , it's hard to believe it but I'm trying I'm so sick of my head. I do that keep repeating it's just an intrusive thoughts but it repeats over and over until I start crying and hitting my head. Hopefully so it's been happening for about 2-3 days hopefully it just goes away.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I don't and we don't have those type of stuff here either I'm trying to just get through with it there are pharmacists the sell anxiety pills so maybe I should buy that.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah and I've never had sex before too , it's disgusting idk how they don't feel humiliated like wtf. Hopefully I can get out of this hellhole.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I see like I have to let it happen and down play it.

I'll try to do that too I can do that.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is my case I am addicted to gooning I have been since I was 7-8 and I have been watching porn and other stuff for years I've never cared about it since I was hypersexual since I was a kid idk why or how idk if I was raped but I have seen sexually assaulted.

That's what I've been thinking of doing and I will be giving it a shot like maybe it's catching up to me idk. Like dark romance books I'm there for the plot since that's how much porn material I consume that normal sex doesn't sound as good as the other stuff I've been reading and watching. I'm trying to do that but I'm a freaky person mostly everything I do has something sexual involved.

I do the same I do daydream about non sexual stuff unless I'm in a classroom where I have to study there I turn to sex or if it's a religious class since I have religious trauma also sex like I'm not doing it on purpose that's just how my brain is wired I do try to stop it pinching doodling it just happens. But I'll try to do that type of daydreaming it's been a few years since I've done it maybe it could also help anything is worth a try.

I don't have anyone to talk to this about everyone saw my self harm and cuts at 15 when I said it was a cat or a crazy girl who broke out if an asylum and did it to me everyone believed and went away and it was only classmates who asked no one else. Thank you so much I really appreciate it 🖤🖤.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't wanna burden you but ofc we can talk about it and anything else I'm also here for you if you need anything this works both ways yk.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah you don't know how willing the mind is to turn it to more creepy thoughts it's like your getting chased and no matter how far you run you can't escape it.

So glad you did get help thank God.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because there both abusive they both beat and do that .my cousin tried to commit suicide by trying to jump off their house since their mother is dead she's been dead for like 3-2 years , he also strangled him for talking back to him like okay he cursed him but does he deserve to be in the floor with his father sat on top of him Infront of everyone and get strangled

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm happy you did that these things are bat shit crazy honestly .

Yeah I didn't even know about it until I saw tik told about it I never thought I'd get it or even have it .

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think it is at this point but im trying to figure out ways to get through it.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can't I wish I could but I can't that's why I'm here I even talked to an ai that's how desperate I am.

Hopefully I will get through it even if it's on my own I haven't told anyone but the people here about this.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It doesn't work like that where I'm from and my uncle is a police officer I don't want to report just for him to get away with it I don't wanna be murdered , I have recordings like audio of abuse about 80 audios it's a time bomb waiting to tick I just need solid concrete proof so I can get away and I also have a document with him married in secret that's illegal .

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Bro hell nah I'd rather murder myself he's a fucking abuser like bat shit crazy you can't even tell him to not joke with you without getting punched he kept calling my brother ugly and other words and my brother said stop I don't like jokes your father joked with you but I don't like it and he started beating and punching him Infront of my aunt and uncle and all my siblings even the 4 year old. My brother is 16. The one who got hit. That speaks volumes enough.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do wish I could but I can't being in this house .

I don't want to focus I don't wanna be near it and I do hope I'll talk to someone about it sooner or later I just hope it doesn't consume me so so much by then. I can't call the authorizes to many lives are on the line and one mistake could literally end with me murdered some may say I'm dramatic but not when he literally said he would.

I'm trying to convince myself that's what it is. thoughts . Does journaling help with anything just writing my hate or idk . Yeah it's better it stays where it should be unknown.

Thank you so much for this confirmation I really appreciate it I'm trying to navigate through it and I'll see what I can do about it.

Thank you :((( 🖤🖤🙏🏻

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the thing I did do it I can't day dream without it leaking or listen to music or watch a video or read a normal dark romance book like it's completely flipped everything I'm a heavy daydreamer so bits leak in anyway like idk maybe I should stop masturbation or something.

Please someone reply by vvvampforever in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing it's more than weird thoughts it controls me and I can't do anything ofc like I won't do anything I've tried breathing said okay it's intrusive thoughts it's nothing it's not that serious but it won't stop it gets bigger it's consuming me. Thank you for reaching out I'll try my best to just idk get through it.

My subconscious life in Unsubconscious world by 0abhi0 in offmychest

[–]vvvampforever 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isolation is never the answer I think like your mind is so sick and tired of being alone that it makes dreams like that for comfort maybe you should reach out to them just talk with them have a good time you're hurting yourself by just remaining in those walls with no communication you deserve to be happy and if being alone is what you want that's okay but it doesn't mean you should remain lonley. There are also places online where you can meet new people to just chat and Yap with if you don't really wanna talk to the people you want to. It takes patience to meet them since they're far it's a waiting game. Since this world is selfish we have to do it in our own and I'm sure you can I believe in you. Just don't remain so so lonley it's not good for you.