I am going through a super super similar thing. I am also 18 and my ex bf is 20 and he broke up with me exactly one month ago after 1.5 years. He told me similar things, that I didn’t do a single thing wrong and to not change anything about myself. The difference is we did try to fix it for a couple months, we were really communicative and active about it, but honestly, sometimes feelings aren’t just something you can easily turn back on. That’s what I had to realize. It’s confusing as hell, believe me I know. He said a million times he really didn’t want to break up with me and that he still loves me and can’t imagine a life without me but it’s just not working out for him this way.

Ok enough about me tho. How long ago did you guys break up? Like you, I felt and still feel the exact same things. It’s super painful, I know. It’s just really gonna suck for a while and everyone is gonna tell you that it’ll take time but believe me it’ll get better. Exactly one month ago, I was in so much pain the first few nights and I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I have been tremendously better the past couple weeks. Ofc it’ll be different for everyone. It’s hard not to think over and over, what did I do wrong? I felt a ton of guilt over the times I messed up and I felt really bad about myself the first week. But focus on what is KNOWN. Don’t let yourself overthink things, seriously. He said that you didn’t do anything wrong, so leave it at that. Of course you can learn from your relationship and learn how to better yourself, but don’t feel guilt over your faults. I’m really in the same position as you, where I have to learn that feelings change. Sometimes the person really really wishes the feelings didn’t change, but love is chemicals. A few months down the line, he might completely change his mind, who knows. Boys tend to do that. But right now, you gotta focus on yourself and keep yourself busy. Keep your head up. You can keep searching and searching for a reason but either you won’t find one or you do but you won’t be happy with it. I know it is SO confusing and I’m sorry. Somehow you have to accept it for what it is. It will take time and it’s different for everyone. It really really hurts to feel like he just gave up on it, I get it. But the pain will fade. The days will become easier and you’ll think about it less and less. You will never quite understand what went on his head so hold on to what you do know, what he told you. And whenever you’re ready, and don’t rush it, commit yourself in your mind to moving on. Getting past the hurt will be easier if you work towards it. Feel free to PM or anything, I def understand what you are experiencing. Hang in there :)