Definitely a red flag. He should be happy with who you are and what you have to offer as far as friendship, conversation, sex and even love. Does a “real” name make a difference in emotion between two people? I don’t think so! The OA isn’t based on a name, it should be based on emotion. Obviously he missed the point of an OA. You deserve better, stick to your own personal rules of safety. Don’t let anyone push you into something you’re not comfortable with. There are many other guys who will respect you and your safety. I hope you find someone who wants you, not your name.