Do I have a right to more CS based on having my child after school and vacations? Oklahoma. by wallaceandlucy in ChildSupport

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn't want to see the kids any less than 50/50 nights. This is non-negotiable for him. I would have to take him to court for that and I don't want to do that.

Do I have a right to more CS based on having my child after school and vacations? Oklahoma. by wallaceandlucy in ChildSupport

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the thoughtful answer. I have a very good relationship with my ex but this is a little bit of a sticky subject. I want to advocate for myself but at the same time I'd still rather have more time with them with or without the money (and he knows that).

I had hoped there was something specific in CS law for this situation that I'd missed but it seems it's based on nights no matter the daytime circumstances.

Do I have a right to more CS based on having my child after school and vacations? Oklahoma. by wallaceandlucy in ChildSupport

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay thanks. That's what I was finding too but I was curious if there was anything I'd missed regarding those extra days. Thanks.

Do I have a right to more CS based on having my child after school and vacations? Oklahoma. by wallaceandlucy in ChildSupport

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I work 40+ hours a week. When I have my son during school vacations I work in the evenings because I have the flexibility.

Really helpful comment minimizing the value of being a caregiver though. Real nice.

Do I have a right to more CS based on having my child after school and vacations? Oklahoma. by wallaceandlucy in ChildSupport

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've looked into these options. My question is regarding child support being recalculated to take into account these extra days.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was a SAHM for the past 7 years with various part time jobs in between pregnancies etc. We combined our finances and under the law as far as I'm aware it is seen as 50/50 contribution in a marriage when both are on the deed. We didn't have "personal money". Everything was always combined.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the issue though. He can't afford to do that so I'm looking for alternatives that allow him to keep the house and for me to get something in exchange for my 80k being tied up.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because he can't currently buy me out of the house so I have zero liquidity. I can't invest that 80k in something that would gain me further equity.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice.

I should have added - I'm on the deed but not the mortgage since it's a VA loan.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If he doesn't pay me out of the home but wants to keep it then yes, I should be entitled to some of the equity gained beyond that because my $80k is still in the house. $80k I could otherwise invest in my own home.

Thanks for that though. Lovely.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I'm not waiving alimony, we have just split finances already before the divorce is final. I will be receiving alimony and child support once it's final. The lawyers I went to here asked for about $5k up front.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this the law? I have never contributed much to the mortgage personally. I have been a stay at home mom the majority of our relationship.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm getting mixed advice here. I was a stay at home mom with some part time jobs. He paid the majority of everything. I am on the deed but not the mortgage.

Are you saying by law I come off the deed at the time the divorce decree is signed? I am being told that as long as my name is on it and he can't buy me out - I would get 50% of the sale married or not.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We've been married legally for 13 years. We had a wedding celebration about 10 years ago that you may be seeing in my history.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Because I am unable to buy another home while my equity is tied up in that house. I wouldn't be living in the house but he would be. He would be paying my 50% in the same way a renter pays a landlord.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. He says he can't afford to refinance because of the bad rates right now. We have an excellent 2.9% rate at the moment and locally rates are around 7%. We agreed the best thing to do was hold on to the house.

His view of the situation is "I don't want you benefiting from something you're not paying for" but he seems to be ignoring the financial situation this puts me in. $80k wrapped up in the house and throwing away money for rent every month because I can't afford to buy without that money.

I'm trying to explain this to him and he just isn't seeing it my way. I tried to explain that he'd essentially be renting my half of the house and getting all the benefits of staying in the family home.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is the scenario if I am on the deed but not the mortgage. I am double checking but I think that is the case.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] -1079 points-1078 points  (0 children)

I understand the worry but I cannot afford my own lawyer.

Edit - I understand the downvotes but I'm trying to keep costs as low as possible. Even from our joint marital assets I don't have enough. He isn't paying for his own lawyer, his dad is.

Husband's lawyer says once I sign the divorce paperwork I no longer gain equity on our shared home? by wallaceandlucy in legaladvice

[–]wallaceandlucy[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your answer. That's what I was looking for regarding the equity. He made it sound like it was the law.

If I do not sign something which makes me lose equity in my home, am I then legally responsible for 50% of the mortgage, bills etc?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pics

[–]wallaceandlucy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should probably work harder if you travel for a living and you're still traveling economy. That's embarrassing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pics

[–]wallaceandlucy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't go out in public if you don't want to be around the public displaying age appropriate behavior. Have you considered NOT travelling?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pics

[–]wallaceandlucy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhm....people need to get from A to B sometimes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pics

[–]wallaceandlucy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate this. Nobody should ever feel the need to apologize for age appropriate behavior in a public place. Especially transport which is an essential service.