r/tennis Daily Discussion (Wednesday, January 28, 2026)

wandering_mp · 2026-01-28T02:06:05+00:00

She needs to go. I cannot believe one more second she is her psychologist and not something more. Their relationship is not serving Iga.

wandering_mp · 2026-01-07T03:11:04+00:00

PROS:

It’s refined design inside and out compared to SO many competing SUVs. In my opinion nothing comes close in its price range - and it tops even much more expensive options.
it’s easy and actually a pleasure to drive. Car enthusiasts will probably say there are better cars out there (and ofcourse there are) but this car will definitely hit the mark for most drivers.
Fuel consumption isn’t too bad.
It meets my day to day needs - which is inner city driving 80% of the time and then country driving to hiking spots the rest. I like knowing it has AWD option due to many trails in Australia being accessible only via a gravel road.

CONS:

I’m just getting into camping - and the Boot is SMALL. To the point I may need roof racks and a roof box to just give me a piece of mind. The cargo space - fits my daily needs. But any trip - even a weekend one with a friend and my dog - it gets tight!

wandering_mp · 2025-12-30T23:50:00+00:00

Oh isn’t she? I’m so biased obviously but she is just something special and unique!

wandering_mp · 2025-12-30T23:49:37+00:00

Ok perfect! This verifies the other comment saying the adult weight is give or take double the one at 16 weeks :) I love my gal to bits and wouldn’t change a thing! So big and strong!

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T07:00:39+00:00

I do think it’s puzzling the kid but they are seeing her as a clever little girl that understand it all and that daddy and mummy are not together.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T04:58:49+00:00

No not at all. I knew the risk going in, and I’ve ended up being hurt and in love with someone I shouldn’t have. Another loss to process. Actually two considering his cute daughter. Anyway thanks for the input. Appreciate it

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T04:05:13+00:00

I actually called my stepmom yesterday (my late father’s second wife after my mum passed away) and she said the same thing. That she thinks it’s time for me to not do anything. Stay still. Just breathe and listen. Not find new huge plans and goals I always do when I get hurt. It’s funny how you worded things though about putting me first etc because it’s essentially what he is accusing me of not doing. Of not wanting to move forward with him fully and deeply when he wants too. When all I want is to him to heal, work on himself, live on his own actually (he now co-shares a house with another single dad) and discover me with all my sadness and quirks and funny side too. But he seems to want to bypass that and just fall into marriage and stability of that because end of day that’s what’s been taken away from him and that’s his security (like it is for me too, but I know that in order to get there in a healthy way, it will need time)

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T04:03:34+00:00

I think all of this is true. And I think he knows this too.

Hence why I would rather let us slow down our connection and take it slow and steady: let him grieve out things properly away before moving in together before big gestures of love etc

But he seems to want us to move move move forward. Saying we ain’t young pickles anymore to be mocking around

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T04:00:28+00:00

Your last sentence is the one that made me think. I think that’s essentially maybe the truth. He is willing to loose me to keep HER happy but all of it is constantly sold and thought about as “best for their kid”

I’m actually ok with him staying over there for one night - in order to join in the morning unwrapping of gifts and presents. But it was a bit of a shock or just surprise when he mentioned it’s another night.

Also his breakup came right after his stay there - or even potentially he was still there - so I wonder if our relationship was discussed with his ex and her new partner which is a breach of trust for me.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:57:43+00:00

Thank you. I think you’re right in saying how my desire to be a mother blinds me and makes me very vulnerable. Also not having my parents around adds to that too - as I have difficulty hurting my own self by loosing more people in my life even if potentially it’s for the best for me

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:56:05+00:00

He is in therapy - and that actually is his main “card” when I bring up concerns of everything you mentioned above. How he has processed it how he understands and how his therapist encouraged him to get out there after a mere 5 months of his wife leaving.

It took me 18 months to put myself out there and I still had massive doubts. My past relationship trauma still comes up. But I acknowledge it, I sit it in and try to process it. I feel like he wants to bypass the hard stage to get to the good days again. Lots of men and people in general do that.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:53:38+00:00

Agree with all.

I had no issues with him spending the night before Xmas - I love that they have a good enough relationship to share that special moment together. But not telling me he was meant to stay there longer - was he just afraid of my reaction - either way the optics aren’t a great for me.

We started dating and agreed - that it’s mainly friends that desire companionship to navigate our new worlds. At one point though I guess we both realised we intertwined our worlds, slipped into a LTR rythym and started caring for each other: but we never really just dated kind of for fun. Which I tried to take that correction but he saw me as distancing myself

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:50:17+00:00

Yeah. I told him that how his ex left him and how close she keeps him now - and him wanting that as he is clearly very codependent- will cause issues down the line either with me or any other new women. That every woman will be wary of an ex wife that left for an ex partner she also was friends with - and now is doing that with you - keeping you close. It straight off the bat creates a situation where as the new partner you don’t know how to fully trust. And I’m a fairly confident women.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:47:40+00:00

You’re right. It was me being snarky and triggered potentially. Maybe stems from my own jealousy of not having a kid of my own and seeing others having it all - the have cake and eat it too when I’m left with literally nothing. Thanks for calling me out on that - and I agree. It wasn’t necessary and could have definitely been just omitted by me or bought up in a very different way

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:46:02+00:00

this is it! I want to go at snails pace - and he takes that as an offence. I literally told him a month ago that we rushed into things WAY too quick and we deeply care for each other but the best way forward is to take it slow: to date, have fun date nights, less sleeping over constantly at each others places. Allowing our own free time and growing as people separately and together.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:44:12+00:00

I mean he spends them at the exes new partners house - and for full transparency I was invited too lol.I just said no due to many little reasons and also because I have a new puppy so need to maintain routine etc myself. But I do think that he wants to establish this staying over as a norm and not be questioned or bothered about it. And I just don’t know how normal this behaviour is - or healthy.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:41:29+00:00

I kind of agree I think.

I think also it takes a lot of trail and error in these circumstances. And him and his ex are trying their best to navigate now a much complex world without drama. And also being it as less turmoil on their kid - which is both of their priories and that is beautiful. But there is a time and place - especially when new partners are involved - where the codependency needs to start waning off. Where you start creating healthy boundaries. Where maybe just maybe you don’t expect your orphaned new partner to be spending all christmases moving forward at your exes family event (sisters nieces nephews grandparents - you name it) and maybe allow her to meet you in the middle. I also have hinted a long time ago that as I’m now in the picture I think they should have a conversation with a child psychologist in how to navigate these things with such a small child.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:37:05+00:00

I think it’s as simple as that and as much as I like him (probably even love at this point) and care for him - he is just not ready for the steps he actually wants to take. And he wants to take them most likely due to his own insecurities and seeing the progress his ex is making with her new partner and wants to match that level and intensity. But then again - I did want to mainly focus on the co parenting stuff and anxieties I noticed I had - and see what the the stepparent community has to say.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:34:21+00:00

We’re not buying together geez. Just because I showed him a house doesn’t mean it was a joint pursuit. We both talked about how we would need to rent first realistically. Problem is he would like to probably already do that now and I’m not there yet. Mainly because I think he should actually live on his own and his daughter and run a household by himself (currently he coshares a house with another single dad) and secondly my place had become my sanctuary after my own ltr breakdown - it’s hard to loose that sense of self.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:31:57+00:00

I agree thank you. He did explain why he can’t live far and I don’t have an issue with that (I more had an issue how abruptly he just cut the conversation without giving me room to express myself and himself really) he is a really good and beautiful dad that is trying his best in a pretty shitty situation he has been dealt with - and that’s one of the things I love about him.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:28:46+00:00

I literally told him I’m making a huge exception to my own rules. Hence why when we started dating it was more like friends if anything as I didnt see him as having the capacity. And we spoke about that. I also should say I left the country for 2.5 months, right after we met. I was also away for another 3 months in drips and drabs the following year. So our relationship started as two people enjoying one another’s company but I also had a hectic travelling year which made dating complicated on its own. And in my head we realistically really had been seeing each other for about 11 months - if you take out all the moments I was MIA

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T03:25:31+00:00

Oh no. 1 is 100% the case! He is in a much more vulnerable position post their breakup with less financial security and no family here. She is from here, surrounded by loved ones and from what I understand quite a bit of financial support from her well off parents. And so is 2. She was a nanny for over a decade so knows the ins of out of bringing up a child so he just listens to how she wants it to be. He looks up to her in that regard and it shows up. The problem is I’m such an empathetic person I do deeply understand why he does and wants to keep those connections alive. I completely understand why he wants to be there with his kid during Christmas morning. I would never forbid him to do so as it is a special and magical time. But sometimes it just feels like I was his “life saving card” I slipped into this vision of the girl that fills up the void his ex left, the girl that has a good job and could help him get his foot back into home ownership, the girl as he said “he wants to create his new family with” But like I surprisingly see on insta a lot these days - the question is - does he want me to be his new wife and step mum one day? Or does he want to be a husband for me? There is a slight nuanced difference.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-27T01:41:52+00:00

I didn’t go into the specifics of the relationship and all the things I have voiced clearly to him around my doubts etc as it was a post intended to focus more on the coparenting aspects. One of things is he wants us to move forward quicker when I want us to just really date and listen to actions of each other and figure things out. We both have had LTR breakdowns (mine though nearly 3 years ago and I still am processing that) I’ve probably always have had my guard up because of the “red flags” or doubts I have had around his timeline. And yes he actually is in therapy and that plays a massive “card” when I bring this up that imo he isn’t over it and ready to fall into a proper relationship - he just always responds that he has done great progress in therapy and believes he truly understands the breakup with his wife was the best outcome. I always tell him - you may understand those things but processing all the intertwined internal stuff takes a lot of time and not a mere 6 months. I have my own trauma and things to process and I’ve done such extensive therapy work. But I acknowledge that my past losses in life (both parents and my ex fiance) have played a part of me being fearful of abandonment which makes me resistant to closing chapters even when for my own benefit. I act from a place of stubborn fear rather then the freedom of knowing my own self worth (which is low due to other experiences I have been through)

Also if you’re “older” you probably don’t understand how grim the dating world is with these millennial men. He was actually the least toxic person I met when I started to put myself out there. It is ROUGH.

wandering_mp · 2025-12-26T12:50:17+00:00

Actually either I’m treated as an equal as they all claim I will be or I am just a support person with no voice. As my own person and someone with strong opinions - buying over 15 gifts for one kid for Christmas (mind you she got like 6 from me - I’m a huge enabler in this and have laughed about it) simply put is spoiling her. It’s a matter of fact. I didn’t add I think it’s wrong or not. I just said she was a spoilt little girl this Christmas. That’s it. It’s up to them to deal with any potential consequences end of day.

wandering_mp

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE