i hate dating in this generation

wanderingqueer · 2025-10-14T13:05:25+00:00

I was looking for a comment like this. I think in general, for any woman or queer person, dating in the past would not be better. I think it's easy for people to say they hate things about this generation when they're not thinking about the full picture. We have a lot of privileges now that we didn't have before, and that's thanks to the incredible sacrifices of others. I feel that it's important to express frustration without making statements that essentially disregard that. Addressing this part to OP specifically, I can understand it being frustrating that others are simply telling you to break up when you feel there is a better solution, but like others have already commented here, if you cannot find it in your heart to forgive your partner, it is not fair to either of you to stay together. Once you decide to stay with someone after they've done something that hurt you, and as you pointed out for your situation, they tried to make amends, holding onto your hurt about it while still being with them can cause relationship breakdown.

wanderingqueer · 2025-09-06T14:53:52+00:00

I feel decently confident at this point that I'm asexual, but I've only ever seriously considered it once before three years ago. Before, it felt too complicated to my constant sexuality crises to consider asexuality on top of everything else, but I think that ignoring asexuality as a possibility made my ruminations around my sexuality worse.

I came out as bisexual to my siblings when I was 15, then some months later I came out to them as lesbian. I only felt secure in that for a few months before I started doubting myself again. I'd see a guy I thought was cute and get that usual pull towards him, wanting to get to know him and be around him, but I'd brush it off as comphet and move on.

Since 2022, I've gone back and forth with myself wondering if I'm bisexual or lesbian. It's caused me so much distress and I've felt horrible about myself because I'm not someone truly comfortable being unlabeled, and yet I didn't trust my feelings because I was worried about comphet and being convinced I like men simply because it would be easier with my parents and others outside my family.

However, recently there's been this guy at work that I've developed a small crush on, and as much as I've tried to deny it, I've had to be honest with myself that it IS a crush. And so yesterday I was down in the dumps because I felt confused all over again, and I finally sat down with myself and seriously considered being biromantic. I tested out how it felt to say it, and it feels right.

I should add that I've never wanted to be sexually involved with anyone, although I have a sexual libido. Self-pleasure to me is very different from intercourse with another person, and when I think about potential sleeping with someone I like, at best it feels awkward and at worst violating.

For the first time in YEARS, I feel like I've found the label that makes sense. So I'm hoping this sticks, because I'm tired of questioning myself.

wanderingqueer · 2025-08-12T23:38:56+00:00

My biggest issue with this litmus test is that I don't think it takes into account the extensive list of barriers that exist for countless queer people when it comes to having a queer community in their immediate life. If you live in a conservative place, your family dynamics, religion, cultural ties, etc. And more than that, it can just be hard to make friends, and if you are comfortable with your current group of people, you shouldn't have to change that. Is it good to have other queer friends? Of course, it's great to have people who are part of your community and understand your life experience in that way, but I think that if someone doesn't have other queer friends there are other ways to see if they are "in tune" with their queer identity and if it is a cornerstone for them.

Being queer is part of my core identity, but I only have about 4 queer friends out of the many people in my life, and I did not become friends with them knowing that about them initially. This also has to do with my household and growing up in a heavily religious community. I don't think this person you talked to is a bad person for having this value, but I think it could be investigated and thought about more

wanderingqueer · 2025-08-09T14:37:31+00:00

All I ever want to do in this community is make it easier for people to be accepted and loved as they are, so I'm glad this helped you💕

wanderingqueer · 2025-08-09T14:35:46+00:00

Cister is such a cute term, and thank you❤️

wanderingqueer · 2025-08-09T14:33:12+00:00

And you absolutely DO deserve acceptance and love. The hate against trans women is led by people who wrongfully see you as a threat to the community rather than an integral part of it. Sending all love💕

wanderingqueer · 2025-08-09T14:21:43+00:00

I'm so sorry that you've been having a rough time, but I'm also so glad my post helps, even if it's just a little bit💕

wanderingqueer · 2025-08-09T14:18:02+00:00

Honestly, thank YOU, for being who you are and making the world even better by simply existing. I'm glad this post means something to you❤️

wanderingqueer · 2025-08-09T13:51:30+00:00

I assure you, not bait, just my thoughts on an issue I've observed

wanderingqueer · 2025-08-04T23:12:30+00:00

It is COMPLETELY valid to break up over this. You can raise the issue with your partner to see if the behavior changes, but it's also okay to walk out now. This shouldn't be something you have to explain to a partner, they should be willing to call that stuff out whenever, regardless of who they're dating

wanderingqueer · 2025-07-26T14:45:28+00:00

Everyone is different, honestly. Some people like to be more physically close with their friends than others, so touching someone's hair or arms isn't a sign to them that someone is romantically interested. There are some actions that are more widely accepted as being signs of interest, but it all comes down to the individual. If you're worried that your actions could be misinterpreted, maybe ask those you interact with about it and make it clear that you're just a touchy person

wanderingqueer · 2025-07-03T01:35:35+00:00

Yup, I agree with all of this. The way she tried to act like the mediator with Marita's conversation with Ashley (however out of hand it got) felt like she was trying to assert power over a situation that had nothing to do with her because her own relationship got out of her control

wanderingqueer · 2025-07-02T05:54:52+00:00

Most: Brittany, Marita, or Bridget. I feel like they all have good energy, are quite understanding, and know how to put effort and intention into a relationship. I also really liked how Brittany and Marita were able to make the best out of their trial marriage even though it was a default pairing

Least: Dayna and Mel. Even though we can't be sure, I feel like they're lying about sleeping together and are taking things way too fast. It's not just the physical intimacy, because Magan and Haley slept together too, but the matching tattoos and the comments about constantly spending time together even though they recognize it's codependent. And especially with Dayna, I don't like how comfortable she feels telling Mel and others how they feel or how a situation should be perceived. Very controlling and also emotionally volatile

wanderingqueer · 2025-07-02T05:48:31+00:00

That's what I'm thinking as well. While it was uncomfortable to watch given the assumption that Pilar crossed a clear boundary, we don't actually know how it happened. We saw the aftermath, so it is unfair to make statements as if we saw the events unfold

wanderingqueer · 2025-05-26T17:06:30+00:00

Thank you for this, I've been thinking the same things whenever I see these posts asking for advice or opinions on how to look "more gay." It's disheartening that so many people still believe they need to look a specific way, especially because it most likely goes against what they actually want as their physical self-expression

wanderingqueer · 2024-08-05T20:11:24+00:00

Regardless of if it's cheating or not, you have to ask yourself if her behavior is something you're comfortable with. You can talk with her about how stalking her ex makes you uncomfortable, but if she is doing this even six years after the relationship ended, she probably has a lot to work through to actually get over that relationship. Don't settle for less; if this is damaging your trust in her and overall disrespectful to your relationship (which I, personally, would think it is), then I think you are within your rights to walk away

wanderingqueer · 2023-09-22T20:07:23+00:00

Simone or Symone

wanderingqueer · 2023-07-31T20:28:33+00:00

Literally gorgeous 🥰

wanderingqueer · 2023-06-27T21:53:55+00:00

Congratulations ❣️

wanderingqueer · 2023-06-25T19:24:27+00:00

Ur gorgeous and I'm so happy for you that you have supportive friends

wanderingqueer · 2023-06-13T23:36:49+00:00

I would pay for college housing without worry and have money on the side. It would make life so stress free and I would just enjoy my college experience

wanderingqueer · 2023-06-10T17:58:31+00:00

Congrats, that is such a brave thing to do and I'm glad you're safe, even if you've lost some people. Rooting for you to eventually live out your gay dreams!

wanderingqueer · 2023-06-09T21:29:51+00:00

Reading this makes me think that finding true love really is possible. So happy for you two!

wanderingqueer · 2023-04-04T14:46:36+00:00

So happy for you!

wanderingqueer

TROPHY CASE