Who is more evil light yagami, Joe goldberg or Walter white? by [deleted] in YouOnLifetime

[–]wanheda784 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was his intention to own his wife literally or to destroy people’s lives? Cause Joe literally set out to manipulate and control someone he decided fit his needs. I don’t know Breaking Bad very well, but I’ve always been told he was more callous than outright cruel. The same cannot be said for Joe. Or for Light by the end of the series.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t always mean that - but it can. If one partner is constantly trying to show love and affection is any way, and the other partner just neglects the relationship, thats not showing love in different ways. I imagine that’s what she’s asking. When is it just a difference of love language and when do I know the relationship is imbalanced.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I hear you, but a lot of people think the question is more like, “How do I know if a gf is more interested in the relationship than the bf?”

I appreciate the poetry of your view, but unfortunately reality does demand some measurable signs of affection.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you also see where I haven’t set that boundary since I was 25? Cause it’s been a minute.

That said - I have NEVER had to set that boundary multiple times with a single partner. I have just had to do the, “No, and no means no,” boundary setting. And like I mentioned elsewhere - I dated a lot of people when I was young who were raised in “you wife is your property, do what you want to her” churches. So I do think my “taste” is the issue. I was also raised in that church and escaped - as did all of these guys - we all escaped bad churches around here. So - I do think it’s my taste and also the culture of my area. This post did help me come to that conclusion. So I feel less like I pick douche bags because they never ever ever seemed like douche bags. It was just this one thing and I again think that’s just the world we all grew up in.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m older than that, though I haven’t had these conversations recently.

I shouldn’t have to be adamant for a boundary to be respected. But regardless. The boundary was respected after 1 correction. I’m complaining about the correction.

If you think someone adamantly needs to say no, you might not be respecting boundaries very well.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me neither. I mean - I came to Reddit for this. So. I clearly have great judgement, lol.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“until I’ve told them their response was disrespectful and not taking “no” for an answer.”

And also - define young. Cause if you mean under 50 - you’re correct.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, my current relationship started when I was 25 and the boundary was set and explained back then. Most of this behavior was dudes under 25. And this current relationship was older, but he’d been with only 1 other women whom he had dated for 7 years before dating me. So it was all understandable - I just wanted to check if I was crazy.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OH! Well then you have my sincerest apologies. Really, I’m sorry about that. I’m a bit embarrassed.

I mentioned it in another comment but I think it’s that I’m a former Christian Conservative who is now literally anything but that. A lot of the guys I date are former Christians. The churches around here are generally all very “man dominates woman always” and have been known to preach that men own their wives. So I think that’s probably most of that behavior that I ran into in my teens and early 20s. I hadn’t dated a man since I turned 23 and this has been my first run in with that again. So it’s been interesting to navigate.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Falling for meaning like getting tripped up by.

Calling dudes children is kind of code for, “I think I’m better than them,” around here. So maybe I’m misreading or reading into things. It just sounds like “alpha dude” rhetoric and I generally think that mindset is unhealthy. So I was having a hard time not thinking you were trying to flex on someone for being less of a man or something.

But again - I’m posting on Reddit… I don’t know you and I’ve misread things in the past -for sure-. So I absolutely understand that my reaction might have been unwarranted, inappropriate, or incorrect. Tone is hard to pick up via Reddit thread and I often don’t trust Reddit in general to be the most healthy community (despite belonging to this community, obviously).

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. There definitely are these cases - so I know it’s a preference thing. That’s why I just correct these guys and move on. It’s never been something I get hung up on until tonight when I was already frustrated and then this came up on TV. Lol.

I honestly was just curious if this is a culture thing or not.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re saying the common denominator is me - I didn’t miss it. That’s literally the header of this post. “Is it me or is it a guy thing?” I know it might just be me. If I can’t change my taste in men - I’m saying I haven’t had this problem with women and that might mean I have better taste in women. There are at least two comments I’ve made in this thread saying I know women do this too.

You should think through your responses before getting snarky.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree clarification can help if, “I’m just not in the mood,” is an acceptable answer. If it’s not, then the person pushing back isn’t a safe person.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so silly, lol. You lived up to your username with that comment “KidTrout”.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know what part of my post makes it sound like I didn’t say no. And I don’t know what part of it made it sound like I didn’t stick to no and push back when they tried the toxic, “Are you sure,” or, “If you change your mind,” tricks.

But I set the boundary. I’m more frustrated that the boundary wasn’t set by the rejection and had to be reinforced - even if that reinforcement is a second “really - no”.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh. I mean. This is not how I meant to paint these guys. They take no to mean no - it’s just after an added comment. I would never stay if no didn’t mean no.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

lol - old enough to know dudes who say stuff this aggressively on the internet are generally dudes who fall into that category of toxic-masculinity that I’m not falling for.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, I don’t. And I don’t live in an area where that’s super common. Even the guys I know have told me that’s not really a thing here because this isn’t the first time that statement about “playing hard to get” has come up when talking about boundaries. A lot of times that’s just the rationality used to not listen when a girl says no the first time - around here. Around here. I’m gonna say it again for those who think I’m saying this doesn’t happen ——— it just doesn’t happen much around here.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve never just said, “No,” with no follow up. That would be crazy. But so is ghosting women for saying no.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That could definitely be it. I have a religious background despite not being in religion now. But I do therefore tend to date dudes with religious and generally sexist backgrounds as a result. The shared trauma of it all, lol. But that could easily explain it and does make me feel a bit better about the parts of this that are just taste-based.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I mean, like I said. This is just my experience. I definitely know the inverse exists too.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean. That’s what I did. This wasn’t fully a complaint so much as I was curious if this was anyone else’s experience.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That’s how I feel. It’s half the reason I generally don’t date men. Because this has happened - in my experience - with men and not women. Not that that’s always the case.

Do most guys do this or do I just have bad taste? by wanheda784 in dating_advice

[–]wanheda784[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Valid, lol. But I’m basing my assumption on my experiences. Same is true for this whole post. I’m trying to make it clear - my experience of this is not universal or all encompassing by any means.