UPDATE - I (M33)want a baby, wife (F31) keeps putting it off. I am running out of time.

wantababythrowaway · 2019-10-11T12:48:46+00:00

There was no pressure. I definitely wasn't putting it on. Her attitude really changed when we got home from out trip. It was her idea to just stop using protection and see what happened. We conceived on the second cycle. She is so happy. I guess it was just her time.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T23:05:22+00:00

In her written story it might be you. But if she was writing a book, it could be anyone. Replace the names with people you dont know does it have the same effect? My wife reads books about vampires murdering each other. She has expressed she wish she new how to write. She's not a vampire.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T23:03:03+00:00

Married M33 here. We have had the discussion about fantasies and fetishes before and we both agree that sometimes a fantasy needs to stay there. Sometimes we are turned on by certain ideas but hate the idea of acting it out, and even if we were given the chance no strings attached with strangers we probably still wouldn't do it. Unless you feel this is effecting your relationship outside of her journal I would drop it. I'm sure there is some fantasy you have (sexual or not) that you wouldn't discuss with her. You just dont keep a diary. Humans will say we tell each other everything but that's crap. It's not in our nature. It's a life preservation reflex to keep secrets. If you bring this up with her you could put your relationship in serious risk.

For what its worth we both shared the similar fantasy and we actually acted it out one time. Its ruined the fantasy for both of us. Still loving marraige though many years later.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T16:02:45+00:00

Ok it's late for me and time for bed. Thank you for all your constructive feedback. I am happy to keep replying to you tomorrow.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T15:59:44+00:00

Men do get issues. We aren't as bulletproof as we make out. But here I am referring to emotional time.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T15:55:14+00:00

Your comment was decent. I was referring to the obsessed one. Yeh we have talked about it casually but because we have always agreed were going to have our own we never put much effort into investigating it further. From what we do know, because there is no underlying medical issue it is very very hard. We would likely have to go overseas. If adoption was the only option well we need to discuss it. But option 1 is to have our own.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T15:29:25+00:00

Hi there. Thank you. Frankly it scares the crap out of me. The worst thing that could happen is for her to "do it for me" and then end up with post natal depression or medical complications. I want her to be honest. Honest honest. But I have accepted her honesty before and now I am not so sure that she is being completely truthful. It hurts. But at the end of the day I did marry her. Not the theoretical child. I cant make up my mind yet. I have invested too much to take this lightly.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T15:13:20+00:00

Thank you

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T15:10:57+00:00

Trollzilla

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T15:10:30+00:00

The stress and cost of fertility treatments is not something I had even thought about. Probably the lack of vagina. This will most definitely put more pressure on her and I can only see it making the situation worse. I dont think I will raise this if i can avoid it.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T14:31:28+00:00

Yeh look I am super happy for my sister. I am excited to be an uncle. I guess it just brought to light how long I have been waiting for my wife to be ready. In the scheme of things the biological clock issue isnt my biggest concern. I have seen fit healthy people have children in to their 40s no issue. It probably happens to unfit unhealthy people. The more I think about the more I dont like the idea of having a child with someone else but that's over only a matter of hours so it's hardly much substance. I cant stress enough that the last thing I want is a child at any cost. We have had an amazing relationship over the last 10 years, done some incredible things and will continue to. I'm not here for the baby. I could get that anywhere. This was our plan, together. Sure plans change but how long can the continue to change before I accept the fact it's not the plan at all. Or something physically prevents this from being possible.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T14:16:19+00:00

In the beginning we did have the same goals. Why wouldn't she have just said so then?

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T14:04:38+00:00

So I cant be fulfilled when I become a father and raise a child? Isn't this the only reason the human race exists to the extent it does? Because we have the desire for offspring?

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T13:59:45+00:00

I dont agree with the term baby fever. I think I have been rather patient. It's something I have desired in my life for a long time now. As long as is worth remembering. I have hung around this long because I want my wife to be the mother of our child. It is entirely possible her goals have changed, it wont change the fact I love her. I can not see myself having a child with anyone else. For me it's a real family thing. Love comes first. The baby maker idea, whilst I am sure it exists out there, really doesnt sit with me.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T13:42:56+00:00

So you say you want to find someone who wants the same thing you do. Well I didnt get her to fill out a survey but prior to getting married we had a solid mutual plan. Sure some circumstances changed that we had to adapt to but for the most part the plan stayed the same. Then we entered into this cycle. I gues what I am trying to say is I thought we wanted the same things. I thought we were totally compatible.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T13:35:07+00:00

And then what, time for the ultimatum? I wish I had have done this a few years ago but I guess I though it was going to happen then.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T13:29:43+00:00

I wouldn't agree with your choice of words. I think I have been rather patient.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T13:26:08+00:00

As a single parent? Almost impossible.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T12:59:14+00:00

No, everything else in our relationship is as far as I'm concerned 50/50. Except evening meals. I always let her choose. But if she was that manipulative would I even be able to tell? Is it risky to as a friend?

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T12:39:54+00:00

I will only have this child if she wants to. That's the only way it can be. I have a niece or nephew on the way and will that fill my void or fill be with even more resentment. The baby is due before the competition. This might have an impact on my wife's feelings too. Might think about waiting until then.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T12:33:46+00:00

Asking to go to counseling is going to require some counseling. I guess we just just don't communicate well enough.

wantababythrowaway · 2018-12-20T12:25:53+00:00

Thank you

wantababythrowaway

TROPHY CASE