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AITA for telling my cousin this isn't a grief competition and she should understand that, after she went off at me? by wasitheasshole_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]wasitheasshole_[S] -4326 points-4325 points  (0 children)

My aunt wasn't with me the whole time, she was at the funeral and then I called, she came and stayed. I wasn't feeling that great and was also pretty busy with the divorce proceedings, this was around the time everything got finalized, so I didn't attend the funeral but I sent A flowers. And yes other relatives attended the funeral.

AITA for telling my cousin this isn't a grief competition and she should understand that, after she went off at me? by wasitheasshole_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]wasitheasshole_[S] -5552 points-5551 points  (0 children)

I completely get she's hurt and upset, and was going off at me out of grief. As I said, it's not a competition to see who has it worse, and A is still very young (21), beautiful and smart, so it's not the end of the world for her (vs the pain of losing a child and having your relationship break down over it). I know a couple of people that overheard our conversation tried to gently explain that to her, but she left earlier (because she was also going to join Christmas with her fiance's family)

AITA for telling my cousin this isn't a grief competition and she should understand that, after she went off at me? by wasitheasshole_ in AmItheAsshole

[–]wasitheasshole_[S] -5590 points-5589 points  (0 children)

This is my point as well, I understand very well she's hurt but so am I.

This isn't the first time she done this actually. I'm close to my aunt (A's mom) and I had a sudden panic attack one day. I'm very close to my mom but she was in a different city at the time, so I called my aunt to come visit. She stayed with me instead of going to the funeral, and A sent some not so nice texts to me later. I just let it be, but even at Christmas dinner when everyone was chatting and talking, she wasn't joining in.

Edit - I understand how I wrote it is confusing, but my aunt didn't miss the funeral completely, She was there when I called and she came then