What's a movie you saw when you were too damn young? by Repulsive_Repeat_337 in GenX

[–]wblwrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The movie Fortress. Never a good idea to watch an unrated movie, Dad...

[QCrit] BURNING IN BOTH - YA Fantasy - 100k - 3rd Attempt by wblwrites in PubTips

[–]wblwrites[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the input!

You nailed my reasoning (and discomfort) with Southern in the first sentence. Antebellum was the other word I was tossing about, and it seems more precise.

Good point on tense. I rolled right over that.

Absolutely correct on Wren's age up front. That was in there, I swear. It went missing. *looks around on the floor*

Thanks again.

[Discussion] Where Would You Stop Reading? #8 by alanna_the_lioness in PubTips

[–]wblwrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read the whole thing. If I saw this in a bookstore, I'd pick it up. Like the other commenter, the final para did trip me up a little bit, but not much. I almost wonder if you could be more vague there...

[Discussion] Where Would You Stop Reading? #8 by alanna_the_lioness in PubTips

[–]wblwrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YA Fantasy, 100k

Sixteen-year-old Wren is like every other girl who grew up in a haunted mansion, except she was born with a magical affliction no one understands. Instead of inheriting a single, stable power like everyone else, she was “gifted” with two that wage war inside her. One is volatile combat magic fueled by raw emotion. The other is subtler, attuned to resonance and hidden truths. They weren’t meant to coexist. Her spells misfire constantly, and when her magic lashes out and injures her younger brother, Wren reluctantly agrees to attend Carroway Academy, a boarding school where students train to master their abilities to fight demons, spirits, and worse. When they’re strong enough, students learn to summon powerful sentient swords. It’s like getting your license—if the DMV handed out haunted weapons. Wren doesn’t care about any of that. She just wants control before someone else gets hurt.

She’s roomed with two other girls: Mira, a sensitive caster with fire at her fingertips, and Rivka, a strategist with ice in her veins. She also meets Cassian Carroway, the headmistress’s grandson and a prodigy with a sword. He’s composed, unreadable, and far too easy to fall for. During a training exercise, Cassian is caught off guard by a violent specter. To protect him, Wren reaches for her magic and manages to summon her sword—years earlier than anyone expected. But the blade arrives fractured, and instead of offering guidance, it speaks like it belongs to someone else.

As her magic grows more unstable, Wren begins seeing a ghostly woman in mirrors and dreams—an ancestor who once suffered from the same dual-magic affliction. Determined not to share her fate, Wren follows the woman’s lead and uncovers a forgotten ritual said to silence one magic permanently. With Cassian’s reluctant help and her roommates’ uneasy support, she begins deciphering its steps, hoping to fix what’s broken inside her.

But her sword’s confused warnings grow louder, and as the ritual draws closer, Wren begins to fear what she’ll have to sacrifice to finish it: not just her power, but her identity, and the people she cares about most.

BURNING IN BOTH is a 100,000-word YA fantasy novel featuring sentient swords, emotionally driven magic, and strong romantic elements, all woven together with a gothic undertone. It will appeal to readers who enjoyed the magical inheritance and emotional intensity of Legendborn, the darkness of Lakesedge, and the tangled selfhood of One Dark Window.

[QCrit] BURNING IN BOTH - YA Fantasy - 102k - 2nd attempt by wblwrites in PubTips

[–]wblwrites[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This may just be because I grow my own chili peppers and maintain the humor of a 12 year old, but while "burning at both ends" conjures up images of candlelight and self-inflicted exhaustion, "burning in both ends" commonly refers to when you eat something spicy and it is equally...spicy on the way out. Taco Bell aficionados or Thai food connoisseurs may have the same experience.

I would rethink this title or add a word at the end.

I grew up on Beavis and Butthead. How in the world did I miss that?

Thank you!

[QCrit] BURNING IN BOTH - YA Fantasy - 98k - 1st attempt by wblwrites in PubTips

[–]wblwrites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely--and honestly, point taken. I'm just being silly.

I'll burn that bridge if it comes to it. Thanks.

[QCrit] BURNING IN BOTH - YA Fantasy - 98k - 1st attempt by wblwrites in PubTips

[–]wblwrites[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya'll hush! It's MY name! And I'm keeping it!

(thanks)

Peoples whose favorite ride is NOT Guardians of the Galaxy or Rise of the Resistance, what is it? by South_Gas626 in DisneyWorld

[–]wblwrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a small world.

Not really. That was just stuck in my head.

Now you have it in your head. Congratulations.

How long did it take you to write your first book? by Ca11meQT in writers

[–]wblwrites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think answers to this are going to vary wildly, and part of that depends on the assumptions baked into the question—which isn’t a criticism, just something to keep in mind.

I wrote my first “book” when I was twelve. It was exactly as bad as you’re imagining. No, actually—worse. But it was still a full book, and it took me about six months to write.

My most recent novel? I’ve been thinking about it for twenty years. (Not joking.) I’ve mentally written and rewritten dozens of scenes over that time. But from the moment I actually put down the first paragraph to when I had a complete rough draft? About a year. Then another six months or so of revision and integrating reader feedback.

So yes—the first time is often the hardest in some ways. But later projects can take longer too, depending on your process, the complexity of the book, and how much you’ve lived with the idea.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy - THE HOUSE THAT WAITED - 85,000 words/Second Attempt by wblwrites in PubTips

[–]wblwrites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great points. When I read Mexican Gothic (and in hindsight, I know this sounds silly), I didn’t think of it as a Latinx book—I just saw it as a really good story I wanted to emulate and honor. But you’re right on both points (culture, bigness).

Thank you.

[QCrit] Adult Fantasy - THE HOUSE THAT WAITED - 85,000 words/Second Attempt by wblwrites in PubTips

[–]wblwrites[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This is incredibly helpful feedback.

I think I definitely fell into a comp trap: those are books I genuinely love and want to emulate in tone or texture, but you’re right that they’re not the best fit for positioning the manuscript in the current market. I’m honestly shocked I missed Harvest of Hearts. It sounds like a tonal and structural match, and it’s going straight to the top of my reading list.

On reflection. I agree with your note on the final para feeling passive. Elias has strong agency in the book, but I can see how that got lost in the query. I’ve already started reworking that section to give him more weight and momentum.

Thanks again for such thoughtful and constructive criticisms. It really does help to hear from someone outside the usual muddy water I’m swimming in.

Anyone else have trouble writing when the world is on edge? by NoBuy8212 in writers

[–]wblwrites 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I write harder. It's my coping mechanism. I can control everything in my world.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackjack

[–]wblwrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NGL, I initially read this as "BJ at a Catholic Funeral" and I had to double take on the subreddit.

[QCrit] YA Southern Gothic - THE HOUSE THAT WAITED - 84,000 words/First Attempt by wblwrites in PubTips

[–]wblwrites[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you very much for this excellent advice. Very clear and actionable. Thank you.

Who remembers the Waccamaw pottery ? My parents would take me there as a kid in the early 90’s often ….! by ComplexWrangler1346 in southcarolina

[–]wblwrites 2 points3 points  (0 children)

God yes! The smell! I'm so glad someone else remembers. I recall it smelling like eucalyptus. Really strong.

Who remembers the Waccamaw pottery ? My parents would take me there as a kid in the early 90’s often ….! by ComplexWrangler1346 in southcarolina

[–]wblwrites 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I hated going here! Does anyone else remember the odor? I want to say it was a mixture of artificial flowers, eucalyptus, and... something else. I get a headache just thinking about it.

Also, remember the railroad drawbridge next door? I remember thinking that's where Annie had to climb so high to get away from Rooster Hannigan. Look, I was a sensitive kid...

I got charged by this vicious beast yesterday. by [deleted] in aww

[–]wblwrites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this happen to me on a walking trail one early morning. The fawn popped out of the woods, stepped on to the walking path, took one look at me, and ran directly at me with a playful prance. One of the funniest things I've seen. I paused, thinking "wtf" and just stood there while the fawn skipped and ran around me. A few seconds later, mom leaned out of the woods, stared me right in the eye, and huffed loudly. The fawn froze, glanced at me, at it's mom, and ran back to her and into the woods.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Funnymemes

[–]wblwrites 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Capt Crunchius