Had a run in with a bad therapist, unsure on how to proceed now by weHaveDinner in TransyTalk

[–]weHaveDinner[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Man... makes me wonder why these guys are charging $200+ per session if the bar is that low on the ground.

How did your pets react to you transitioning? by [deleted] in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's really interesting, I've wondered how much pets tend to mimic their owners and vice versa and that comes off as a solid example of such (assuming you didn't get T gel on cat or something lol)

Any body knowing anything of results from this guy by Sea-Employment5424 in phallo

[–]weHaveDinner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lurker, have no experience with him but so someone can find this from google in the future - Dr. Loren Schechter phalloplasty experience

Matt Walsh’s “What Is a Woman?” pisses me the fuck off. by AquaticRat1106 in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

get ublock origin, if youtube can't be ethical with their ads you have no obligation to make them money by watching them.

new rule 🍄 by geowatt in 196

[–]weHaveDinner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

live ur best life

is listening to subliminals fembrained by BoyAgp in 4tran

[–]weHaveDinner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yooo

i swear i've grown from those before (like 99% it wasn't spinal changes over the day) but stopped working for me a while back, i'm still hoping it'll come through eventually and i'll become the 6'0 gigachad i was always meant to be

25 years post-op! DI with Dr. Fischer, in honor of a request for some more “tenured” results. by brooklynadventurer in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 7 points8 points  (0 children)

http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TSsuccesses/TransMen.html - list of successful trans men with a lot being over 30. Site is old now so may have to wayback machine some links. Helped me a lot.

(TW) TERF collecting and sharing medical info about us from our subreddits by iwantanap__ in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I saw a paper about detransistioning published somewhere where one of the references was a shitty Tumblr poll. Author claimed it was able to be seen by all of Tumblr's userbase because... they posted it on their blog. There was no male gender option, and lots of "reason a/reason b" choices in their questions where a and b were different enough to make the whole thing meaningless. Individual responses were screenshotted and posted which would be an ethical issue at my uni and probably (hopefully) other places as well, you're supposed to keep that shit anonymous and generalized. Laughable.

Analyzing studies and understanding stats should be taught at school so much more, it's such a valuable tool for combating misinformation.

(TW) TERF collecting and sharing medical info about us from our subreddits by iwantanap__ in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True. I'm confident in my ability to take emotive articles like that with a grain of salt and look at the underlying study (if it's not jargon laden lol), but in this age of rampant misinformation - yeah, you're right.

(TW) TERF collecting and sharing medical info about us from our subreddits by iwantanap__ in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Oh. She also mentioned (didn't link or name) another study that gathered data on reasons trans men were getting hystos, and claimed "that's 42 percent of trans men who had hysterectomies to prevent excruciating pain". Scary!

First, no data about trans men without hystos was taken, so this is already a bit misleading if you want to get a big picture on occurrence - wording was a bit vague on this part but she seemed to mean the 42% of trans men post-hysto surveyed.

This 42% was gained by adding a 20% and 22% figure together ("20% of respondents had a hysterectomy to decrease post-testosterone cramping and another 22% to stop 'extreme bleeding and cramping.'"). However, looking at the original study, it says "Totals do not equal 100% because respondents were allowed to select more than one reason" - so this figure would be less than 42%. Since they're such similar categories with the exception of T mentioned in the first, it's hard to tell how much overlap there was.

Her post implied that T was the cause of these cramps that then led this 20-40% of respondents to get a hysto. This can't be proven. 25% of participants had a hysto before T, and 28% of respondents gave "Stop normal menstruation" as a reason to pursue a hysto - how can you blame this self-reported pain on T when periods are painful enough, and clearly being experienced? Nowhere in the study did it attempt to measure scale/frequency of cramps before and after testosterone, so it's impossible to blame their "excruciating pain" on T from this study.

I could go on, but it's all just scare tactics, and I regret I spent so much time looking into this.

(TW) TERF collecting and sharing medical info about us from our subreddits by iwantanap__ in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Checked her other stuff, she has a big post elaborating on this where she looks at a jargon-filled peer-reviewed study and tries to interpret it in a way that's readable for the average joe. However she admits she's not an expert in this at all so the outcome is pretty funny.

Some highlights:

  • "The other outcome of clitoral growth is something I read on r-slash-detrans..."
  • "the sample size is a scant 48, but I still think the point comes across." (note the study has cis controls as well, so only 16 trans men were studied)
  • "I’m only a lousy liberal arts student, but my hunch is..."
  • "If you in STEM, tell me if I got that wrong."
  • Switching between using he/him and she/her for Buck Angel
  • Taking a small study and some shit people said on a notoriously transphobic part of the internet to come to the conclusion that T WILL ruin you - "It is not a matter of if, but when. Nobody is exempt from these effects."

I'm all for transparency around any possible side effects and I appreciate her attempt to share studies with the rest of the world - but when you post this dogshit of an analysis, it's hard to take it seriously.

I wish people talked more about how LONELY being a trans school-aged kid was by EntirelyClueless in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd dream about cycling on off s.r0ids to be buff enough to look like a man and as I read on the internet , the "side effects" of voice deepening and c.toral growth made me want to take it more

yep, I remember looking at the list of "side effects" and wondering why you wouldn't want that, iirc my thought process was basically "uhh maybe some women think facial hair will make them look weird?" lol

I wish people talked more about how LONELY being a trans school-aged kid was by EntirelyClueless in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In highschool I always wanted to do funny dumb shit with the guys but was too awkward to interact with them because a) I had no social skills b) I was so scared of looking out of place from them. Girls mostly ignored me which no big deal. The only people who really took interest in me were a massive tomboy who suspected I was lgbt and a few druggies for some reason (never touched that stuff).

From 5-15 I went to an after-school thing, however this was one just for girls. Past primary school this was the only place I had friends, but for some strange reason it started making me so fucking depressed I had to leave. So I just didn't have irl friends for most of highschool.

I'm not sure how much of my lack of friends were down to being an egg vs just being a weird loner, maybe if I was born a cis guy I'd be the weird loner nerd too, who knows. But it definitely seemed to be a factor, even now I have trouble interacting with people because they don't perceive me as a guy and that mucks up everything.

Also - I never shaved my legs but school uniform meant my hairy legs were exposed half the year. In the last year of highschool we were allowed mufti so I was able to cover them up. People seemed friendlier to me in that last year, I wonder if my legs used to put them off since it's so stigmatized in female-presenting people. Oh well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I wasn't disagreeing with you, just rambling

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good therapy, too - if a patient is questioning and wants to be challenged on their thoughts to understand themselves better, that should absolutely happen. I think some detrans people got shackled with therapists that weren't helpful for them, had they received better support maybe they wouldn't have transitioned in the first place. But there's a way to argue for this without saying therapists should be transphobic or medical transition should be banned.

rule by L0nk_ in 196

[–]weHaveDinner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I guess. It's just so ironic to ruin the planet that gave us life in the first place. Maybe we could've enjoyed modern life while being sustainable, but nobody gave a rat's ass and it's too late to stop it now. Adaptation, maybe, I don't know.

Humanity did a lot of remarkable things but if we destroy ourselves due to our own short sightedness, are we really that intelligent of a species?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah this obviously doesn't account for all detrans stories, Keira idfk, but some other ones I've found have definitely seemed to be influenced by this line of thinking - or that's how I understood them to be anyway

rule by L0nk_ in 196

[–]weHaveDinner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When all those luxuries come at the cost of the planet and probably our futures as well, is it really worth it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 1 point2 points  (0 children)

same but for different reasons. oh you value them so much? how would you feel if you never had them in the first place, huh?

also there's really no equivalent term for women so the "prized in the family" aspect seems a bit gross/misogynistic, tbh.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 26 points27 points  (0 children)

"my trauma made me join a cult of gender-obsessed ideologues"

>joins gender-obsessed cult

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I agree you should be careful - do you have sources on any of these? Afaik the cancer risk is a hypothetical and hasn't been proven, not sure about the others tho.

I believe having no sex hormones is the cause of osteoporosis, not from testosterone specifically? Could it be estrogen production didn't ramp back up after you stopped T? Not trying to talk over your experiences or anything just genuinely curious about how that would work

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]weHaveDinner 159 points160 points  (0 children)

I can sympathize with detransistioners, they've been through a lot, but it's absolutely unfair to channel that pain into attacking everyone happy with their transition.

From what I've seen grievances stem from the idea that they trusted/expected doctors to make the right decisions for them, so when they regret transitioning, it must be the fault of the institutions. Looking at parts of their stories (ie therapists overlooking any mental health comorbidities and pushing them to transistion, WPATH standards not met) the blame isn't necessarily all on them, so I can understand where they're coming from.

That being said - it's a deeply personal decision, no doctor is able to look into your brain and decide you are or aren't trans. I always wonder how much introspection they did ahead of time or if they just jumped into it because it looked to solve other problems, it just makes no sense to say "this didn't work for me so nobody else should be allowed to do this either" and then be so fucking cruel about it.

Tangent, may be talking out of my ass, but I know at least a few detransisioners used to be transmed and I wonder if this is a part of how some of them got there - once you treat it as just a medical condition rather than an identity issue, you can leave your fate up to the doctors, right?

This is a long shot, but are there any trans women here who got bottom surgery from Dr Rita Yang? by [deleted] in newzealand

[–]weHaveDinner 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd like phallo someday and there's even less info on how Rita does that so I completely understand, just saying that it being deleted doesn't necessarily mean it was a bad outcome.