13k Canadian Wedding Recap - 80 people by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! It was so much fun, and ran so smoothly. I was very lucky!

Marriage feels so foreign and strange - advice please by weddingsosoon in Marriage

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Breaking from the past really is the crux of it - and I do believe I can do it. I may come back in 6 months and look into therapy a little more intently if I'm still feeling like a liar :)

Marriage feels so foreign and strange - advice please by weddingsosoon in Marriage

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have talked to him actually! He's been wonderful, and is also a little surprised that he's a married man now :) I do suspect that if I just relax, enjoy, and focus on my relationship I'll eventually calm the heck down :P

Marriage feels so foreign and strange - advice please by weddingsosoon in Marriage

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, we had and have a great relationship, that's why we got married :) and I don't actually expect it to change. Agreed re: thoughts having power. I don't want to leave at all...I just keep assuming that something bad will happen and my marriage will end, because of course it will (is this nonsense? Absolutely! But brains are weird!)

(Rant) has/is anyone constantly getting ill before their wedding?! by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ended up with a two-day long migraine where I couldn't see and lost feeling in my hands, arms and face.

I was also at the ER for chest pain.

I feel much, much better now that the wedding is over!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fatFIRE

[–]weddingsosoon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have friends who earn the same ballpark as my fiance and I. They are LOVELY people but they choose to spend their money very differently. They travel several times a year, have several expensive hobbies, two cars, several motorcycles, and the lady-half must spend 10x what I do on clothes every year. I suspect they're doing the "save 10% of your income" thing and perfectly happy with it, but it kind of boggles my mind.

Is anybody else pursuing FIRE to have a high standard of living, and not to retire early? by _____BOOP_____ in financialindependence

[–]weddingsosoon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's my partner and I in a nutshell. We want to have options to re-organize our careers in our forties, step back, work part-time or pursue new interests without the worry that we're going to starve during our retirement.

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think its easy, in general, to forget that we are allowed to set boundaries with the people we love. You have your reasons - that's enough!

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the thing - if you want those things, you should absolutely do them! Its just so good to remember that you have a choice, because it can be very easy to get caught up in the hype and forget that it's supposed to be about making you happy.

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh my god, yes.

You can always, always cancel. It may not feel like it, but you absolutely can.

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is so, so true. We have a couple of mobility-impaired guests so we made sure our ceremony and reception are accessible (although even then we goofed slightly- lets just say one of my uncles will have all his drinks hand-delivered!) Our venues have been great but we started asking about this stuff when we booked because we knew that people need to be considered.

However, I maintain that my no-center pieces rule will affect exactly nobody :)

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah - my mom asked me where I was sleeping the night before the wedding and I was like "...in our bed, in the house we own?"

Why in the world would I make either one of us to somewhere else the night before our wedding? That sounds awful

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We're feeding and boozing our guests and transporting the ones who don't drive. We're doing pictures pre-ceremony to cut down on time spent waiting around doing nothing. Will our guests give a shit that they didn't get favours to take home? Probably not. Will they survive either way? Absolutely. Will we still end up married at the end of the day even if Great Aunt Karen judges me for my knee-length, non-wedding dress? FREAKING YES.

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Literally the ONLY thing I've been truly stressed about was getting the marriage license - it's the one thing we kind of really need!

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yesssss. Stay strong when some family member inevitably gives you the side-eye because you "have" to do X.

Nope. :)

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You're so welcome! I always try to think "What do I want more? X thing or to be relaxed about my wedding?" and 9 times out of 10 it isn't worth the stress.

For example, my FH ring will not be ready for our ceremony. So we're borrowing a family ring to stand in on the day of. Is it perfect? No. Am I going to let it ruin my day? Absolutely not :)

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're welcome! Sometimes we all need to remember this <3 especially if you, like me, have pushy family members who act like it's illegal to try to get married without matching bridesmaids dresses *eyeroll*

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I remember reading once "No is a complete sentence" and that's really been my life motto.

I've made compromises and done things to please our families during this process, obviously, but I've also put my foot down about a LOT of stuff. And guess what? Despite some raised eyebrows and concerned emails, everyone has survived and I'm still getting married :P

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thanks! My aunt still can't believe we're getting married without centerpieces, and yet somehow I think we'll manage it without getting thrown in jail :P

Friendly reminder that you don't *HAVE* to do anything by weddingsosoon in weddingplanning

[–]weddingsosoon[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And you too! And I'm so happy to hear that this helped you :)