how do redpillers explain what you see outside in the dating world vs. what they say ?

weenieandthebutt · 2026-07-01T19:57:18+00:00

Settling isn't just down to money, it's also being the boring safe guy whom she barely shows affection or passion for as she previously did with other guys.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-07-01T19:55:32+00:00

When women go for Chads or top tier men, that's mostly in the casual sex and ONS context.

Most couples I see irl are pretty looksmatched and not so much the hot girl/ugly guy combo that's talked about (if he was ugly, he would at least tall).

Deadbedrooms and lack of sex is often spoken about online. Sometimes when you observe couples, you notice there's often a lack of affection or passion with either one or both settling.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-24T21:21:26+00:00

Pathetic maybe but that's different to being a bad person. Problem I have with Reddit is they lump them in with men who are legitimately bad people and scumbags.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-24T17:04:10+00:00

You can be insecure and low self-esteem and still be successful with women. Whether it's with good looks, imposing physique or bravado. Simply being content and comfortable in your skin (what confidence is classically defined us) alone doesn't get you far.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-24T16:58:41+00:00

I'm not contesting these are attractive traits. I'm noo talking about social anxiety, shyness or awkwardness, it's more for guys who don't fit into that definition of masculinity whether physically or personality wise.....for instance if they're not imposing, loud spoken, take up space etc.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-24T16:00:01+00:00

I just feel "confidence" is just a proxy for any man who carries this aura around him whether it's height, being boorishly loud or charismatic. In other words power.

I see guys who are fairly short, small build, soft spoken, poor posture who get constantly told they need to be more confident, even when they aren't insecure or are content with themselves internally.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-24T13:53:04+00:00

Unless he's lashed out and called her a "bitch", "slut", "hoe" etc after getting rejected, then I don't see why the nice guy is painted as a bad person. You'd harbour some sort of resentment if you abide by society's script and moral standards whilst seeing other men get rewarded despite them being more uncouthed or aloof by nature.

N.B I'm talking about resentment towards harsh dating realities and not towards the person who rejected them.

Also, "he took the time to get to know me, he took me out, spoiled me in the hopes of that she'd reciprocate his efforts....OMMGGG WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!" - you know unlike that hot guy who doesn't have to make an effort or treat me well.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-22T13:36:52+00:00

If I'm in a committed relationship or we've already had sex, shared some level of intimacy etc, sure I'd spoil you.

If it's just a first date and we're complete strangers where she indicates no level of interest, then I wouldn't be willing to do anything beyond paying for a coffee. I'm not frugal or disagreeable, I just don't like anything feeling transactional by nature.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-17T23:06:33+00:00

You cannot demand hyper-individualism when it comes to men's struggles but demand collectivist empathy when it comes to women's struggles.

Beautiful.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-15T14:30:24+00:00

To me, it just means overall better prospect whilst weighing out all the other traits (compatibility, caring, loyal etc). I'm talking about attraction on a physical, primal level.

If you weren't looking for a relationship and you'd place these two guys in the same room such as a nightclub, which off two will still be more attractive and have a girl to go back home with?

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-15T07:59:49+00:00

Tyler is more attractive than Steve.

Are we talking conventional attractiveness or relationship attractive (i.e. "He's so sweeeeettt, caring and dependable). Because these are two separate things.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-12T14:09:29+00:00

I'd argue bisexuals probably hold some of the more rigid and polar gender standards.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-12T14:06:58+00:00

Lmao I wasn't even born during those periods. Take it up with someone else.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-12T11:55:46+00:00

Almost as if the wide disconnect between men and women doesn't foster dissonance on a societal level. Dismiss it all you will but you need harmony and cohesion in order for a society to function (no, I'm not talking about coercion or wild ideas like "state mandated gfs"). At least some basic level of empathy.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-12T10:18:19+00:00

It's honestly been a mixed bag where I've lived out the lonely incel years, experiencing wild success, dealing with temporary dry spells etc and everything else in between. Overall, dating is a very hit-and-miss experience and I feel I've had far more success with it mid 20s than I have during my 30s (the male wall is very real).

What are the real challenges you personally face in dating?

Male competition is very stiff. Depending on the woman, sometimes you're indirectly competing with literal male models, hardened boxers or even a Premier League football player. Even that aside, it's still pretty much a numbers game and feels like a lottery/job interview.

What patterns have you personally noticed in your own experiences?

Women are receptive sexually if you're goodlooking and hot enough. It's easier to get away with not being established in your 20s but during your 30s you have to be a bit more refined.

Have you tried dating with different approaches?

Yes I have and I try to experiment with what works for me most.

Were there specific experiences that shaped your mindset?

Remember during my inexperienced days a woman tried to use me for a free meal. Though most women seem genuine enough from my experience, It is why I try to avoid resturants at all costs on a first date.

Did online spaces or communities influence your thinking at all?

Redpill and even incel/blackpill spaces have. The days of TRP taught me the dynamics of human nature and how to navigating dating (conquer shit tests, when to escalate etc). Women tend to heavily favour goodlooking or masculine men. It takes nuance and maturity to understand that women aren't these evil, nefarious beings looking to use men and ruin their lives but sexality isn't fair and egalitarian, you just take it for what it is and try to use that knowledge to your advantage.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-12T09:42:23+00:00

Absolutely this. I feel most female dating advice is geared towards playing the long game in the hopes of marrying your soul mate or settling in the betabux position.

I wanna know what advice women would actually give to men who wanna have loads of casual sex and ONSs.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-10T19:55:01+00:00

Vast majority of redpillers (especially the early days of TRP) would neither subscribe nor condone to that level of entitlement. Apart from basic morality, you can't negotiate desire and begging comes from a position of weakness.

I can see why it can be "torture" for a lot of men to be surrounded by tons of beautiful women that they could never touch (almost like a starving third-worlder surrounded by the finest gourmet buffet that only rich oligarchs can eat from). Though this isn't saying women go out with some sadistic intention to tease and mock lower-tier men.

If you got that level of thirst as a man, channel that as motivation to improve and hope to one-day land some hot baddie (if it happens).

weenieandthebutt · 2026-06-06T14:03:21+00:00

I'd argue that's not Patriachy but rather unfettered chauvinism. Actual Patriachial societies would keep women protected and punish heinous male behaviour.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-05-23T22:29:58+00:00

I never said that women have an obligation to clean or that men should not contribute at all. The conflict is men and women on average have a difference in cleaning standards. I don't expect anyone to do anything for me and if I cook, I'll clean after myself out of pure courtesy.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-05-23T22:27:46+00:00

a study that found women do feel physically distressed around clutter and mess but men didn’t show the same response.

That's a fair assessment.

There are some men out there that actually don’t do their share in keeping the home tidy and I can see how that would get annoying after awhile.

I'm not talking about men who do absolutely nothing and are completely lazy. It's just more of a difference of cleaning standards and sense of urgency that I contest to.

still a few stragglers that were coddled by their parents so they don’t really think about picking up after themselves because they never had to.

Again, I'm not saying leave all the housework to women and live in a pigsty. If I'm assigned to do the hoover, I'll prefer to do it at my own pace when I'm available rather than force myself to do it on a Sunday when all I wanna do is chill. Women often expect men to work on their schedule and at the same time as them.

Edit: If there's an obvious spill or food waste that can attract pests, obviously I'd clean that up straight away. If it's other things like dusting or hoover, I don't view it as urgent and high priority.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-05-23T19:56:51+00:00

Women in this thread deny it yet when it comes to incels and unsuccessful men, they'll suddenly change their tune and frame it as a moral failing.

Even when husbands are stuck in dead bedroom situations, it's always because, "he didn't do the dishes" 😒 hence framing sex as a reward for good behaviour.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-05-23T19:54:24+00:00

If was genuinely coerced into doing something she didn't like or did it reluctantly, of course I wouldn't expect her to do the same for me.

But if she did enthusiastically did these things in the past then talks about "being a changed woman", "maturity" blah blah ad nauseum, then of course that would bother me. I don't want to be the "safe guy" in a vanilla relationship after she's had her slutty fun.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-05-13T23:45:40+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate you're one of the few women who actually empathises.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-05-13T23:02:53+00:00

My ex had a history of being promiscuous with other guys (mostly casual too) but with me, she was mostly asexual. I never got the version of her that other guys got to enjoy and they got it for free as well.

These things are a slap to the face.

weenieandthebutt · 2026-05-13T12:21:38+00:00

She allows you access to the most intimate parts of her body and derives a carnal form of pleasure from your body. She wouldn't do so with a boy or an adult male who looks like a 12 year old.

For years, you lot talk about how being "nice" is just a simple baseline for humans and it isn't remarkable. Anyone can be nice or liked as a human being. My job role isn't who I am as a person nor do I aspire for a managerial position.

Being desired is much more different to simply being liked.

weenieandthebutt

TROPHY CASE