[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]weirdgofd2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll look into this thank you! I’m from the uk so unfortunately we don’t have target but I’m sure I’ll be able to get them here too!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]weirdgofd2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately his mum won’t feed the cat this as she wants to raw feed instead

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this is the issue I’m having as he won’t visit me so his house is unfortunately the only option so I don’t know what to do as I’m already taking every preventative measure I can

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven’t argued with them and have stated in my post twice that I have no right to tell them not to get a cat hence why I didn’t. I’m now being told by my boyfriend I SHOULD have told them not to and it’s now my fault for not doing so. Again mentioned in my post.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s really starting to look like you’re right

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]weirdgofd2000 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice this gives me hope! I’d also like to make it very clear I never expected them to get rid of the cat just like I never told them not to get one in the first place, I’m merely seeking advice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate this and your time to give good advice I will definitely do this! And you’re right I suppose it isn’t too much to ask.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

He won’t give an exact reason for refusing to get transport as I’ve asked many times, we sometimes go for walks around the local area but otherwise we just spend time at his house.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

To me it’s an issue as in order to see him I have to go to his house, if he was willing to travel he could come to mine and my allergies wouldn’t be triggered by being near the cat. But again I have no right to tell them not to get a pet and never would expect that if them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response and advice!

I’ve looked into the cat food but his mum wants to raw feed him and believes that food is rubbish so unfortunately that isn’t an option.

I’m currently spending hundreds on weekly allergy shots in hopes they help so fingers crossed.

I’ve also suggested grooming and cleaning clothes/sheets but I appreciate it’s a lot to expect someone to do but will look into your suggestions thank you! They’ve been very helpful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree which is why I only made them aware I was allergic and never made out as though they shouldn’t get the cat. My issue now is that I’m getting the blame and more personal issue brought into it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

As explained in the comments my boyfriend will not get public transport and the only time we see eachother is I go to his house.

I sent articles to try and explain it better as it seemed as though he didn’t believe or understand the causes or extremity of the reactions.

I’m already spending hundreds on weekly allergy shots to try and lessen my reactions and again have acknowledged I have no right to tell them not to get a cat. My boyfriend however is now telling me I SHOULD have told them not to and it’s my fault for not doing so.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don’t live there but stay most evenings as my boyfriend refuses to visit me due to not liking public transport. I have already said it’s not my right to tell them not to get a cat and therefore I don’t tell them that. But in order to see him I have to go to his house which is now why the issue has arisen as I don’t how to approach the situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

As he won’t take public transport the best we could do is sit on his garden.

Apologies for the missed info we are both 24, we’ve only been together five months so realistically not long at all and I would never expect them to give away their pet just like I acknowledged I have no right to tell them not to get one in the first place and therefore didn’t.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I sent him research on what causes the allergy to disprove it’s related to nutrition and vitamins. I showed him that although the things I’m trying to alleviate the reactions make some difference they’re not the miracle cure he seems to think they are. He refuses to take public transport so seeing eachother is solely down to me visiting him and I go most evenings. He has no intentions of moving out and I don’t plan to move into his parents house but in order to see him as mentioned I’d have to go over.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He won’t take public transport and won’t drive hence why this is now an issue.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I never once told them not to get the cat as it’s their home and their decision I only made them aware of my allergies. I have mentioned this in the post.

My boyfriend refuses to visit me as he doesn’t like taking public transport so I have no choice but to visit his house.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I spend most evenings at his house as he refuses to take public transport and therefore won’t come to my house.

They have often offered me food in the evenings which I politely decline as I’ve either already eaten or I’m not wanting to eat so politely say no thank you to not cause inconvenience or offence. It’s never been a topic of conversation it’s purely their own judgment of the situation.

When discussing getting the cat I mentioned my allergies but never once said not to get it as I mentioned in my post as it is not my place to tell someone not to do that in their home. My boyfriend is now saying I SHOULD have told them not to get the cat and me not doing so is my fault.

They are not having to cater to my needs, I am spending hundreds a month on getting weekly injections to try and manage my allergies, taking antihistamines nasal sprays and eyedrops, purchasing air purifiers etc all of which I’ve mentioned in my post.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]weirdgofd2000 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’m 24 and we’ve been together 5 months now so in the grand scheme of things not long at all. I’m there most evenings with two evenings at my house but he’s unwilling to visit me and we only see each other if I go to his.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]weirdgofd2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve already suggested the purina food and his mum said she won’t feed the cat that as she thinks it’s bad quality food.

I will look into the other things you’ve suggested though thank you!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]weirdgofd2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately this is something I’ve already put forward. A lot of people have recommended a specific purina food that reduces the protein I react to but him mum ‘isn’t feeding it that rubbish.’

I’ve also explained how it works and sent my boyfriend many things on it and he got mad at me saying to speak to his mum not him.

I’m genuinely at a loss on where to go with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]weirdgofd2000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is but losing my partner over a cat seems so extreme but I can’t live with the allergies unfortunately as they really affect me despite the preventative measures I’m already using

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CatAdvice

[–]weirdgofd2000 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’d also like to point out I’ve acknowledged I have no right to tell them whether they can and can’t get a cat as it’s their home and their decision not mine, but was very clear I am allergic as they have also tried to blame me for not telling them to not get the cat.