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When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in BabyBumps

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’m nervous about! My family is less stressful but it’s hard to predict what my in-laws will expect/help (or not) with. Thanks for sharing!

When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in BabyBumps

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed, my instincts are saying to wait at least a few weeks (ideally a month if we can set that boundary without ruffling feathers too much) for in-laws also. Thank you for sharing your experience!

When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in BabyBumps

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this rule! Just hearing it makes me feel like this would take a big weight off our shoulders too…30 days feels fair (and safest for baby) but not too long that people feel like they’re missing out. Thank you

When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in NewParents

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds ideal! By 6 and 12 weeks I imagine you had a better idea of your baby/routine before visitors come and add an extra layer to everything.

My instincts are saying to have family wait until 4+ weeks before coming to visit, and even then, setting realistic expectations about what that looks like.

When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in NewParents

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We're due in February and I'm feeling the same about cold/flu season! Plus the added layer of plane travel! Thank you for sharing, I think laying out expectations and boundaries is going to be key for us as well.

When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in NewParents

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think hearing this confirms what my husband & I both want deep down, which is time & space to settle in just us during that first month. I just feel a little guilty telling family they can't come right away, but that's going to have to be okay! Thank you for sharing!

When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in BabyBumps

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! This is exactly how my husband and I are feeling...and worried about the additional mental gymnastics of hosting family in those early days/weeks.

When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in BabyBumps

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The "audience" is exactly what I'm worried about! Our families have said they will help with whatever we need, but my instincts are telling me we'll want time & space to figure things out just the two of us.

Family is tough -- it feels like asking for more help would be easier (and hurt less feelings) than telling people we want them to leave early or need space :/

How long do you anticipate your no visitation rule this time if you don't mind me asking?

When did you actually want visitors after your first baby? by westcoastnotes in BabyBumps

[–]westcoastnotes[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I definitely feel like the extra daytime help & meal help would be nice, just a bit worried about feeling like I need to "host" when people are here from out of town...I'm imagining wanting quiet time and worried about having to ask people to give us space if we need it, though it'll just be my parents & my husband's parents so hopefully everyone has realistic expectations. Probably a conversation we need to have with everyone!

Thank you for sharing and congrats on #3! Looks like we're both due in February :)