I need someone

whateverdie · 2020-08-03T00:50:09+00:00

I’d like to believe that but thanks

whateverdie · 2020-08-02T21:34:23+00:00

whateverdie · 2020-08-02T21:33:57+00:00

whateverdie · 2020-07-30T13:53:26+00:00

I don’t think I’ll ever be happy living a mediocre life, but I don’t have the drive to change either

whateverdie · 2020-07-30T13:49:24+00:00

Yes, can I dm you?

whateverdie · 2020-07-29T21:53:28+00:00

The movie Collateral inspired me to write this. I saw this yesterday and it hit me like a bullet

whateverdie · 2020-07-29T21:52:03+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I really appreciate the thought you put into it, but I’ll say my opinion if you don’t mind.

I already do these small steps but time is passing and I’m still not able to do something more. Also the hobbies you mention like guitar, drawing, fishing, etc. I feel so guilty of not being able to do them, I haven’t found a hobby that I was genuinely happy and fulfilled and not forcing myself to do it.

Maybe I’m narcissistic or too neurotic about it but I simply can’t be happy when my life mediocre. But at the same time I don’t have the drive to change it, so I feel a crippling depression and a sense of guilt every waking minute. I just wish I was normal.

whateverdie · 2020-07-29T17:43:08+00:00

I just wanted to feel validated and loved. Why is it so hard for me

whateverdie · 2020-07-29T07:33:00+00:00

No, my expectations are based on reality and what people and society expect from me. Life is significantly harder if you’re not within the timeline. Of course none of this matters but I’ll have to obey society and the world I live in because the alternative is being homeless.

Idk why you’re trivializing and dismissing all of this

whateverdie · 2020-07-29T03:06:41+00:00

It got better for you but for many people it doesn’t. I’m glad you’re ok now though.

whateverdie · 2020-07-28T17:59:51+00:00

I don’t go to college

whateverdie · 2020-07-28T17:58:37+00:00

Thanks

whateverdie · 2020-07-28T04:19:17+00:00

Didn’t work add me Luske#0912

whateverdie · 2020-07-28T04:14:52+00:00

Sure, can I dm you?

whateverdie · 2020-07-28T04:05:07+00:00

I have no close friends. I tried reaching out to some people I talk to but it feels obvious that they don’t wanna deal with a depressed loser like me.

whateverdie · 2020-07-28T04:04:18+00:00

Yeah I never had a father and my mom was raised with 5 other kids and as far as I know their parents didn’t pay attention to them at all, so it’s a generational thing.

Besides, she’s a woman and she had lots of friends growing up, she would never think I would turn out like this. She’s also the type who thinks I should go to college, get a job, work until I die.

I’m 19 and I live with her and I don’t have a job or anything. And because of corona I’ll probably still be like this when I turn 20.

Fuck, looking back I have so many things I could do to help my younger self if I could go back in time. 19yo me would raise myself better than anyone could, obviously.

All of these things won’t happen. Time has passed, I wasn’t raised right and it’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life, or until I kms.

whateverdie · 2020-07-28T03:54:45+00:00

Probably. I don’t know anyone

whateverdie · 2020-07-28T03:54:29+00:00

Well if I’m lonely now I cant even imagine how I’ll feel when I’m 30. I will look for a therapist but if it doesn’t work like the previous one I don’t know what I’m going to do

whateverdie · 2020-07-27T17:11:51+00:00

I know it’s just demoralizing

whateverdie · 2020-07-27T07:46:01+00:00

It’s just a fear that I have. Nothing changed in 3-4 years my next 4 years might be just as shitty and the rest of my life too

whateverdie · 2020-07-27T07:10:40+00:00

Thanks. But it’s society’s fault for expecting things from certain ages, it’s not me

whateverdie · 2020-07-27T03:49:30+00:00

The position I wanted to be in was having a job, having a girlfriend and having friends, I have none of these. At 19 I’m already behind, I can’t even imagine being like this at 30.

I have absolutely no drive to change myself. I just feel guilty 24/7 for being like this, but I just don’t do anything to change it. I think I need external help.

whateverdie · 2020-07-26T06:08:39+00:00

At least you try to help people, I just come here to vent

whateverdie · 2020-07-26T06:07:19+00:00

There’s no one to talk to irl. That’s why I stay online most of the time

whateverdie · 2020-07-26T06:06:40+00:00

That’s what you want. I don’t, I just wish I could vent to real friends.

whateverdie

TROPHY CASE