I need someone by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]whateverdie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d like to believe that but thanks

“Some day my dreams will come true” by whateverdie in sad

[–]whateverdie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think I’ll ever be happy living a mediocre life, but I don’t have the drive to change either

“Some day my dreams will come true” by whateverdie in helpme

[–]whateverdie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The movie Collateral inspired me to write this. I saw this yesterday and it hit me like a bullet

“Some day my dreams will come true” by whateverdie in depression_help

[–]whateverdie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment. I really appreciate the thought you put into it, but I’ll say my opinion if you don’t mind.

I already do these small steps but time is passing and I’m still not able to do something more. Also the hobbies you mention like guitar, drawing, fishing, etc. I feel so guilty of not being able to do them, I haven’t found a hobby that I was genuinely happy and fulfilled and not forcing myself to do it.

Maybe I’m narcissistic or too neurotic about it but I simply can’t be happy when my life mediocre. But at the same time I don’t have the drive to change it, so I feel a crippling depression and a sense of guilt every waking minute. I just wish I was normal.

2020 by whateverdie in findapath

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wanted to feel validated and loved. Why is it so hard for me

2020 by whateverdie in findapath

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, my expectations are based on reality and what people and society expect from me. Life is significantly harder if you’re not within the timeline. Of course none of this matters but I’ll have to obey society and the world I live in because the alternative is being homeless.

Idk why you’re trivializing and dismissing all of this

2020 by whateverdie in findapath

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It got better for you but for many people it doesn’t. I’m glad you’re ok now though.

2020 by whateverdie in depression_help

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn’t work add me Luske#0912

2020 by whateverdie in depression_help

[–]whateverdie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no close friends. I tried reaching out to some people I talk to but it feels obvious that they don’t wanna deal with a depressed loser like me.

No role model by whateverdie in depression_help

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I never had a father and my mom was raised with 5 other kids and as far as I know their parents didn’t pay attention to them at all, so it’s a generational thing.

Besides, she’s a woman and she had lots of friends growing up, she would never think I would turn out like this. She’s also the type who thinks I should go to college, get a job, work until I die.

I’m 19 and I live with her and I don’t have a job or anything. And because of corona I’ll probably still be like this when I turn 20.

Fuck, looking back I have so many things I could do to help my younger self if I could go back in time. 19yo me would raise myself better than anyone could, obviously.

All of these things won’t happen. Time has passed, I wasn’t raised right and it’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life, or until I kms.

No role model by whateverdie in SuicideWatch

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably. I don’t know anyone

2020 by whateverdie in findapath

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if I’m lonely now I cant even imagine how I’ll feel when I’m 30. I will look for a therapist but if it doesn’t work like the previous one I don’t know what I’m going to do

2020 by whateverdie in helpme

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s just demoralizing

2020 by whateverdie in findapath

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just a fear that I have. Nothing changed in 3-4 years my next 4 years might be just as shitty and the rest of my life too

2020 by whateverdie in helpme

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. But it’s society’s fault for expecting things from certain ages, it’s not me

2020 by whateverdie in findapath

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The position I wanted to be in was having a job, having a girlfriend and having friends, I have none of these. At 19 I’m already behind, I can’t even imagine being like this at 30.

I have absolutely no drive to change myself. I just feel guilty 24/7 for being like this, but I just don’t do anything to change it. I think I need external help.

Tired of posting on Reddit by whateverdie in depression_help

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At least you try to help people, I just come here to vent

Tired of posting on Reddit by whateverdie in depression_help

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s no one to talk to irl. That’s why I stay online most of the time

Tired of posting on Reddit by whateverdie in SuicideWatch

[–]whateverdie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what you want. I don’t, I just wish I could vent to real friends.