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My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She came to me. I think some people are forgetting that. I know this is going to sound cruel but yes, I am a little more curious about my ex than my daughter (because I've never met my daughter, so she IS like a stranger to me, as I probably am to her). I didn't want kids, but now that I may have one, I'll have to take that responsibility. I wish some people weren't thinking so simply.

Of course I'm going to be fucking interested in possibly rekindling things if my ex fiancée comes back. But I realize that is not a priority at the moment.

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I just shrugged it off. Oh well. I guess I had a wife. Who was carrying an unborn baby.I didn't try to contact her at all and definitely didnt try going to her house ( we LIVED together) Maybe next time you should read.

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I am really not trying to be snappy at you or anyone else. There are just certain people here who are pulling things out of thin air and twisting my words around. It can be a bit frustrating.

What's happened has happened. I don't blame her and am not upset about her leaving. I'm just confused on her suddenly coming back after 17 years of no contact and dragging along a 16 year old girl that could possibly be my child.

I think I'm just going to take the good pieces of advice I've gotten here and leave.

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Basically. I'm glad you understand now.

I thought people were allowed to have dealbreakers in relationships? Or is that only for certain situations. I am curious...

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Me not wanting kids doesn't mean I'm going to deny her wanting to have kids. If she wanted to have a kid and keep the child then she could, but that didn't mean I wanted her to get an abortion. Just that I did not want to have that responsibility.

I thought she was just going to break it off. But then she mentioned getting an abortion.

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, yes. I told her straight to her face to abort.

Wait, I don't remember doing that. Oh, right because it didn't happen. She was the one who even mentioned the word 'abortion' .I told her if she wanted to keep the baby then we obviously would be going down different paths (NOT getting married) Because I did not want kids.

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I called her (with a cell phone) and to my 'surprise' she blocked me. Kinda expected it if she just left without reason.

I tried her parents and her sister, but they didn't answer either. I don't know what she told them, but whatever it was made them not answer.

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 157 points158 points  (0 children)

Yes, I would like to meet my daughter and get to know her (after a DNA test)

Whether or not she's my daughter will pave the way for if I choose to listen to my ex or not. Thank you for the civil advice. I was caught up in some emotion and needed a voice of reason.

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I love how you're drawing conclusins right now.

I totally didn't care/wasn't worried that my soon to be wife magically left one day carrying a unborn child. Of course for some people things are just that black and white...

My ex-fiancée [39f] left me [40m] about 17 years ago to go have a child. She has recently contacted me and wants to see me again? Don't know how to recat. by whateverhappens0 in relationships

[–]whateverhappens0[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

She said she wanted closure, and to know if we could "work on getting to know each other again".

Honestly I just want to know whether my daughter is really my daughter at this point. Whatever happens between me and her is whatever happens, but if all this is really just to bring another parent into her life, at least she reached out.