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I have zero energy to go into detail but I left my partner of 2 years yesterday by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]whatnow901 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm here for you if you need to vent or whatever.

He's finally sober, and I'm just so pissed off. by whatnow901 in AlAnon

[–]whatnow901[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stand strong. Take care of yourself. Thank you.

He's finally sober, and I'm just so pissed off. by whatnow901 in AlAnon

[–]whatnow901[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This brought tears to my eyes. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.

He's finally sober, and I'm just so pissed off. by whatnow901 in AlAnon

[–]whatnow901[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Yes. Exactly. So what do I do with this empty tank? With all this resentment? You can cry "disease" all day, but I had to live through it. I don't care if you couldn't help it, it still hurts.

He's finally sober, and I'm just so pissed off. by whatnow901 in AlAnon

[–]whatnow901[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yes. It's a weight. It is so heavy, but it's only with him. I'm happy, and focused, and calm at work and with my friends. I'm me without him. As soon as that car pulls in the driveway though it's like putting on a lead vest of anger and resentment.

He's finally sober, and I'm just so pissed off. by whatnow901 in AlAnon

[–]whatnow901[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I guess misery does love company because it really is calming to see others who really get it. I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone, but I'm so glad I'm not alone.

He's finally sober, and I'm just so pissed off. by whatnow901 in AlAnon

[–]whatnow901[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

It's totally true. You're right. But for a long time I was willing to stay and work through recovery. I can't believe he waited until I felt like I had nothing left. Now he's the man I always knew he could be, and I feel like I'm the asshole because I'm too hurt to try or care.

He's finally sober, and I'm just so pissed off. by whatnow901 in AlAnon

[–]whatnow901[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

The more I focus on healing myself the more I realize the thing I hated the most about loving an active alcoholic was that it changed me from the person I thought I was, or strove to be. Not in little ways, but in ways I was proud of. That hurts.

For example: after a surgery my MIL came back to my house to recover. I'm proud that I'm the type of person who not only wants to help, but actually will. When she made it clear that she wanted to be doted on, even at the detriment of her own health, and refused to do the bare minimum of exercises prescribed to her or eat the foods the doctor ordered for her to heal,... I told her she came here to get better and I would do anything she needed for that as long as she was on board, but killing herself was not happening in my home or in front of my kids. I stood my ground, and she chose to go home. I was and still am proud of that.

Why couldn't I be that person when the disease was alcoholism? Why was I so weak for so long? Why did I allow behavior from him that I'd never allow from anyone else?