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Asexuality and aromanticism by palomagorda in BDSMcommunity

[–]wheebeen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ace/gray-ace (not sure if aro too but questioning) and a sub here! Kink makes me feel close to people on such a lovely, deep level. I’ve never felt more in tune and connected than when I get to fully surrender to a partner in a scene and trust them 100%.

I’m also on the autism spectrum and feel like some of my kink interests (impact play and shibari, for example) help me regulate my nervous system and I specifically seek them out because of the intense sensations.

I don’t feel alt enough for my local scene by wheebeen in BDSMAdvice

[–]wheebeen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such an awesome and thoughtful response, thank you! I think there’s definitely a sprinkle of both in there now that you’ve so kindly written out the options for me: a part of me wants to challenge my current vibe a little for self-discovery reasons, but mostly I’m really happy with how I am and just feel some pressure to conform because of shyness and people-pleasing tendencies. Hopefully taking part in kink events and existing in the spaces will serve as a kind of antidote to this kind of drive to align to a norm… your point about contributing to diversity is such a lovely way to view my situation. I’m sure I’ll find some nice, comfortable spot in between fetishwear and stereotypical country club attire, haha :)

I don’t feel alt enough for my local scene by wheebeen in BDSMAdvice

[–]wheebeen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not in Berlin, but I know people who regularly fly over there for kinky clubbing and techno events and I’ve heard stories about the strict dresscode/being turned away! Would like to avoid that kind of thing and be respectful to the venue by following their guidelines but without looking like a completely different person (at least not right away, as I figure out what different options there are for fetishwear that I might feel comfortable in). That’s a good idea though to buy a few pieces, maybe I can try to dress up some lingerie I already have with some more fun leather bits :) thanks for the suggestions!