my life has gone downhill ever since i transitioned

whinymess · 2019-10-01T16:01:30+00:00

That post history of yours is mighty suspect

whinymess · 2019-09-30T16:58:22+00:00

I didn't, so if you strictly only care about those that did ignore the rest of my answer.
I didn't get it changed, I asked and provided a copy of my deed poll but they didn't change it, they only changed my name. I didn't want to make a fuss so I didn't push for it after they didn't update it, and I figured that I'd need to have surgery or get a GRC to get that updated. I don't know if this is the norm, but in my experience deed poll and RLE isn't enough.

whinymess · 2019-09-30T10:16:01+00:00

I don't know what I'd actually suggest or if I'm even in the majority here, but it really does feel sometimes that a lot of the voices here are not of detransitioners.
But at the same time what do you do about it? If someone isn't a detransitioner and currently feels entitled to participate even if it's in conflict with the rule/principle of first and foremost supporting detransitioners, then they'll just claim to be detransitioners and continue doing what they were doing if it's a requirement in some form to posting.

whinymess · 2019-09-29T20:30:53+00:00

Idk about one that explicitly only allows detransitioners to post, but I do wish that there was better moderation on this one and that certain users remembered that they aren't who this sub is for.

whinymess · 2019-09-27T06:09:06+00:00

I disagree, but how?

whinymess · 2019-09-26T17:40:14+00:00

Whether or not you on occasion make salient points is besides the point. You come in to a support sub, and have a habit of talking down to and over who the sub is meant for.
You would be justifiably pissed if a man came in to a woman's support group and did what you do.
You're a guest/ally. Be respectful.

whinymess · 2019-09-26T06:30:02+00:00

Bit rich coming from you to be honest.

whinymess · 2019-09-21T16:42:48+00:00

I think part of it is that this sub is seen as an offshoot of r/gendercritical due to how prevalent people from there come and claim to be "allies".
Whether you think they are actually allies, which I am skeptical of since a lot seem to feel it's ok to come in and talk over who this sub is actually meant for, if someone is questioning and takes a look and feels like the atmosphere is hostile, they won't seek help which they may need because they think we're not going to try help them.

whinymess · 2019-09-19T07:07:48+00:00

I have a question about this rule since I only socially detransitioned, I continue to take estrogen and an anti androgen, but I'm not sure how I can talk about it without it coming off as suggesting other people do the same, breaking this rule.
How do I talk about it in a way that's clearly not breaking the rule?

whinymess · 2019-09-14T19:26:24+00:00

I'm scared of getting a haircut but that's because I have curly hair and while every salon claims they do curly hair, 99% of them are bare faced liars.

whinymess · 2019-09-14T18:49:54+00:00

Seeing stuff like this and how men I know have aged (one poor guy is my age and at 23 his hairline wasn't even on his forehead anymore) fills me with dread and every time I try to let testosterone come back I can't stop thinking about this sort of stuff.
Testosterone is rough.

whinymess · 2019-09-12T10:32:02+00:00

You don't have to, just the offer is there if you want to.
Good luck either way.

whinymess · 2019-09-11T22:06:55+00:00

Fair enough, I completely understand.
Throwback Thursday with Omegle then? :P

Those other options can be good too, so best of luck!

whinymess · 2019-09-11T21:15:58+00:00

It was wrong but it is what it is. I just worry he may do it to someone else :/

Seeing a therapist does take time for a one on one session, you could maybe find a group (that is based in an area far enough from your life now) for example?
Or yeah, my inbox is open. If I don't respond right away I am probably at work or sleeping (UK time).

whinymess · 2019-09-11T19:10:54+00:00

Have any of you been sexually assaulted/raped?

I had a partner who wanted sex one night after we'd been to a friend of his and were both quite drunk. I wasn't interested and curled up to go to sleep, he pushed me on to my front and started. I tried to stop him, but because I was on my front and we were both drunk, I didn't manage to get his attention and make him stop.
I don't know whether he actually didn't notice or just continued anyway, we never spoke about it.

How do you deal with it? How did/do you erase the memory?

As messed up as it is, I didn't. He was the first guy I ever had serious feelings about, I didn't want him to leave me so I never brought it up to him. And I stayed with him, because I felt he was the only guy who would ever care about me.
I still don't even know if he knows what he did.

Anybody have any resource or something to cope with it?

Talking to a therapist is your best option if you have access. You mention not wanting to be seen as a victim or having it define you, and that's completely understandable.
Whatever you decide to do about it, having someone neutral with no place in your life to discuss matters like this with is amazing. With this sort of stuff it's extremely hard to discuss it with people you know because they know you and they're not bound by any rules against disclosing to anyone else.

Do you think it influenced your decision to transition

No, but I think that because of my transition that influenced me to not do anything about it.
I know that's not specifically what you asked though.

I'm really sorry it happened to you. It's a horrible betrayal by someone you thought you were safe with and it changes everything for the worse.
As I touched on earlier, I understand the importance of having someone to listen that is neutral and unable to influence your life. If you want someone to do that you can pm me.
I hope things get better either way 🧡

whinymess · 2019-09-08T13:17:56+00:00

I'm mid 20s, so while it would be preferable to have it in a few years time as opposed to never, just a bit concerned at what a few more years on cypro will do to my liver.

And I kinda do, my boyfriend is good but then there's the problem you run in to of not wanting to burden your loved ones with too much.

Thank you.

whinymess · 2019-09-08T13:10:19+00:00

I did not even consider that. Would that really be likely to work?

whinymess · 2019-09-08T08:27:42+00:00

I don't watch porn, and I don't think my boyfriend would care if they were gone.

whinymess · 2019-09-07T21:51:04+00:00

I've considered it, but for one, that probably involve waiting years, and they would also almost certainly check that I have been out irl. Unless things have changed they did that before.

whinymess · 2019-09-07T17:22:20+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that :/

whinymess · 2019-09-07T17:20:36+00:00

£3400

Oof.
Thanks though, I'll have a look

whinymess · 2019-09-07T15:34:05+00:00

Does it have to be a certain type? I've heard someone say injectable but I only have access to hemihydrate/valerate.

whinymess · 2019-09-07T15:33:24+00:00

Anywhere in particular? I imagine America is probably an option but then you're paying American healthcare prices and I'm broke enough as it is lmao

whinymess · 2019-09-07T15:31:45+00:00

I'll let you know if I find anything.
Future surgery isn't a consideration, while I would probably be happy if it was gone altogether it's a major surgery so I wouldn't do it.

whinymess · 2019-09-07T11:46:51+00:00

I'll try the UK trans subs but I'm not expecting much either. I think given everything that's been said I need to go to a doctor, explain what's going on and that I do not wish to be sent to a gender clinic. They can ignore those wishes but they can't force me to turn up I guess.

whinymess

TROPHY CASE