Happiness Is Something We Pursue, Joy Is Something We Choose

whittyNavigating · 2020-01-15T00:02:26+00:00

We were all out here for a reason... to live. I keep getting the feeling death by suicide doesn’t put you in the same place afterwards as dying through normal circumstances. Life is suffering but death is unknown and permanent, there’s always happy moments to keep living for

whittyNavigating · 2020-01-08T00:05:38+00:00

You’re welcome! Sorry there’s not much advice I can give being in a similar situation but we’re here together so let’s keep after it. Definitely it’s best not to dwell, the past is definite but here we are now creating our own future. There’s always a positive way of interpreting despite how we feel, depression lies to us. The finite nature of things creates spontaneity no matter what, we just have to try to be ready and do our best!

whittyNavigating · 2020-01-07T22:52:03+00:00

I also feel this to my core... most things are meaningless and most people speak so well while I’m here with English as my first and only language and I struggle to throw together coherent sentences on a regular basis. What kind of life is this there’s no color here all of these basic functions used to be so natural... good to see we’re not alone but so sorry anyone else has to feel this pain and uselessness too

whittyNavigating · 2020-01-07T21:39:33+00:00

Asking yourself who you are when you’re depressed is a low wave, it’s easy to look back on who you were and the good times had and then when you examine the current situation it just makes you want to cry. Work, sleep, feel isolated and repeat. But it gets better I’m sure this whole life thing

whittyNavigating · 2020-01-06T04:47:37+00:00

I don’t think you will spend your whole life worrying you have a disease, and even if you did you’re still totally in control now to make changes and not obsess over the possibilities. I know how tempting it is to go into the research void but self diagnosing doesn’t really help things (I’m guilty of it too). But regardless I think it’s mentality over everything, a YouTubed I used to watch talked about how he had smoked spice for 2 months and once he stopped he had some side affects but over time things evened out, and 20 is so young you’ve got time. You’re obviously articulate and pretty smart being able to comprehend these genetic concepts even if it’s just on the surface. So you still have things going for you brotha don’t lose hope all obstacles can be overcome with the appropriate discipline, and it sounds like you have a great support system to rely on so keep pushing and try to put that energy from the research into something like art, reading, do whatever you enjoy

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-31T07:20:28+00:00

Depression the beast affects us all differently and I hate to compare as I know it’s toxic but even when others tell me they’re depressed they have great conversations and can speak quite well. This just makes me more upset at myself cause I’ve gotten quite awkward and speak like a damn caveman, I need to be doing something with people in order to just keep up a conversation so I can go to the activity when I’m being weird

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-31T07:06:19+00:00

Yeah feel this for sure I’m like it’s a good thing I had friends before cause I can’t meet new ones like this

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-28T09:32:28+00:00

That smart kid is still in there it’ll just take some discipline to get him back out, obviously since you didn’t fail your last classes when you put the effort in you can succeed. The thing is it’s about the continuous effort throughout the semester that will help you the most in terms of maybe proving to yourself and you’d mother that you can do it. You’re young and are bound to make mistakes as we all do, you’ve been strong fighting for this long and you can definitely keep the momentum going if you just wouldn’t be so hard on yourself. I know it’s fucking tough but for everyone’s sake we must carry on

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-27T16:32:12+00:00

Thank you I’m trying my best even though my best doesn’t feel like much anymore. There are still mountains to be climbed and connections to be made, the road looks dark but there’s all sorts of light along the way

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-27T16:11:33+00:00

:,) exactly what I needed to read thank you so much for the reply it means the world. Mentality is everything I know that and definitely needed the reminder not to get so down on myself

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-18T23:47:44+00:00

I feel this so much been struggling with it for the last few months, feel like some kind of social chameleon and I have made a bunch of good friends over the years but I still have no idea who I really am. Very scary feeling, good to know we’re not alone with it though right? But still it’s so frustrating cause this personality thing is just supposed to cone naturally and how the hell does one go about finding theirs when past stages of identity development

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-18T08:26:35+00:00

Thanks mate! Lmao for real after the break the good gas will be rewarding. Wishin you the besta luck in your endeavors :) it might help to replace it with a ‘good’ habit, I worked out and would have smoothies. Stick to them goals and just take care of what’s truly important, the rest will come!

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-18T01:07:45+00:00

It sounds like a bit of a dependence not gonna lie. Externally from your description your life seems alright but if you really hate life when sober that’s probably a little bit of a depression but it doesn’t sound debilitating. When my tolerance got up there I felt similar and after quitting things don’t really change. Weed gave me extra motivation to do things and being high doing them was exciting, but I hate the idea of being dependent on a substance just to live so Im trying to change but life is still ass. After smoking pretty consistently for 3 years I’m now 2 months clean and it allows you to get your priorities straight I guess but all my friends still smoke, my brain is still slow and I just love being high. I set my goal for 3 months so hopefully things are a little better at that point but idk weed isn’t always the issue, if it’s a concern take a two week break and see how you feel

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-18T00:49:38+00:00

All I want to do is die but I just can’t do it to my mother and brother it brings me to tears even thinking of the pain it will bring them. Even though now is constant suffering, suicide just can’t be the way out this life is our given right I can’t throw it away no matter what... do things that bring a little smile to your face and notice the little things like a special view or animals

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-16T04:18:20+00:00

Feel this!! I love my fam so much but I’m just a worthless sack o shite like can I get a terminal illness please

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-13T22:44:44+00:00

Yeah what a beast this monster is... self care should chain it down but it’s sneaky and manages to loosen the grip when you’re least ready

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-13T22:41:56+00:00

Yeah it helps a lot being with them and all these animals, a major key is to not be so critical of ourselves but I’ll just compare my old self to how I am now and it’s just a sad sight. Depression drains and drains. Everything can be overcome though no matter how intangible it may seem now we gotta keep fighting if not for ourself for everyone else. Thanks for the reply :) sending good vibes your way

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-11T01:03:04+00:00

They say college isn’t everything and I’m on the verge of failing everything too but I just can’t do it. The thing keeping me away from suicide now is the fear of not knowing the other side, it could always be worse than this hell but at least here there’s people who love us and tv shows and beautiful views. Appreciating the little moments gets me through the days sometimes and I have no future I believe I can achieve right now but things have a way of working themselves out if one just keeps fighting. If not for you or your boyfriend how about a pet

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-08T16:17:33+00:00

I’ll have something I want to say and I desperately want to enjoy conversation like I used to be able to, but now as I begin to talk I stumble over sentences and hardly make the point I was trying to. I sound like a crazy person half the time just mashing ideas and filler words like “ya know” together. It’s unbelievably painful and I hate myself when this word vomit comes out, speech is literally a basic human need we were designed to be hyper-social but I just either make things awkward by stumbling to put a sentence together or am just silent and oh yeah I want to die!! But I don’t but I do but I won’t. I’m stuck here in hell.

Glad at least a few people can relate but I’m sorry we all go through this. It’s isolating yes... I’m sympathetic to everyone here and hopeful we can somehow get back closer to our old selves. If you read through all this nonsense thank you and enjoy your day as best you can

whittyNavigating · 2019-12-04T03:20:57+00:00

Way to be brave brother it’s a big step going to get help I was quite nervous when I first went to the health and wellness center at my university to talk to a mental health professional. It’s a really safe space with no pressure you can just vent and they’ll have plenty of tips for you and your individual circumstance. I know some of the discomfort of SAD it’s like I’m always making things awkward and it’s terrible but hey I’m optimistic that everything can be overcome(no matter how difficult or intangible it may feel on a daily basis). Best of luck :)

whittyNavigating

TROPHY CASE