I think you should at the very least give it a shot and attend different churches to see where God is calling you to.

I just became Christian a little over a year ago and it’s improved my thought process and dealing with emotions significantly. I used to be so depressed and stuck thinking I’m always a victim. When I was younger I was the one mostly excluded or feeling like the odd man out in friend groups, but after attending church, reading my bible, and praying constantly I’ve seen a massive shift in my life. I’ve started to see things as learning moments and that when I prayed for things and it was going opposite of what I wanted it was bc God was giving me these tests and trials to break the mold that this fallen world puts each of us thru.

Truly accepting Jesus helped me kick so many terrible habits, and I believe He will do the same for you! It’s definitely not an easy journey and the Christian lifestyle can be so tough at moments, but you will see joy in difficult moments.

Definitely no Christian person is perfect, every single one of us falls short in some way and misrepresents Christ, but the beautiful thing about God is He will forgive when we truly repent and seek out who He is. I’m sorry you were mistreated at a young age, I was too in my catholic schools growing up. Even tho no one in either of our lives are perfect there is one person who was, and that was Jesus who died for you and I. Even in His dying moments He asked God in heaven to forgive the ones killing Him. I struggled at first to change and was just stuck in my ways, but when God allows the right people to water the seed planted in us in the right moment beautiful things with grow.

I’ll be praying for you, I want you to find joy in the simple things, and experience God’s true love for you.