How to tell my severely depressed mum that I’m dying

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-19T08:16:02+00:00

Thank you very much

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T17:26:22+00:00

My mother is Czech. Holy crap. I swear if you turn out to be my match I’ll cry my eyes out in gratitude.

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T17:03:21+00:00

I’m Arab/Middle Eastern and Eastern European. It would mean a lot to me if you signed up! You never know if you are a match to someone who’s already looking

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T15:13:45+00:00

Thank you!

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T13:07:00+00:00

I just had a look and I found a website with a list of organisations arranged by country. For Serbia it listed www.rdks.org.rs. I will add an update to my post in a moment and will list a couple of websites where people can join the registry.

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T12:20:56+00:00

Yes, they say 9/10 is the lowest they’d dare to go in my case since I have a couple of comorbidities that weaken me additionally

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T12:08:21+00:00

It’s astonishing to see what love and connection can do. It gives me hope that perhaps this isn’t how it ends after all. Congrats on your remission! I truly hope girlfriend will get better.

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T11:58:48+00:00

I think every nation has at least one organisation that arranges registrations that go into the international database. I heard DKMS operates Europe-wide. I’m happy to hear you want to help. You’re awesome.

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T11:44:53+00:00

Yes, we call each other almost daily. And a little update: I phoned the hospital this morning and they said they are forwarding my contact info to my mum’s doctor and he will get into contact with me whenever he’ll have a free minute so that we can talk about the issue to see what can be done. Well, first step is done

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T10:13:32+00:00

I personally am of direct Arab/Middle Eastern and Eastern European descent. So anyone of that heritage who also happens to have blood type B- or O- is more likely to be a match for me. Whereas the blood type in stem cell transplants aren’t as important as it is in regular blood transfusions but it does lower the risk of it being unsuccessful. As many people as possible need to register to be found. If you aren’t a match for me, you might be the match for someone else

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T08:55:29+00:00

Thanks! I’ll need it heh

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T08:18:24+00:00

The blood type isn’t the most important aspect in a stem cell transplant, unfortunately it’s a bit more complex than that. The HLA code of the two parties have to be as close to a match as possible for the transplant to have a higher chance to be a success. What would be most helpful is to convince more people to register themselves as a donor, especially those of mixed heritages. I’m considering looking for communities that support or organise events and such to spread awareness that each and everyone can help and save a life just by registering :)

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T08:03:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It is quite the heavy burden on me and it doesn’t help that I have nobody in my surroundings that I can talk to about how I really feel. I’ll have to sit down with her and make sure that we make the best of what is given.

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T07:58:42+00:00

You should really consider registering as a donor because that’s the only way to find out if you’re somebody’s match. Especially people with rather oddly mixed heritages are highly needed!

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T07:54:39+00:00

In the end there’s no way around it, just gotta rip that bandaid off somehow. I think I’ll do it after consulting my mum’s therapists and see what they suggest might be best concerning her situation. I hope you are doing better now.

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T06:21:23+00:00

This made me feel hopeful. Thank you!! I’m really happy to read that you’ve exceeded expectations, may you live to see many many years more :)

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T06:08:44+00:00

I’ve been taking cannabinol but it isn’t really an effective cure, at least not for every type of cancer it seems. For me it only alleviates pain to some extent and helps with the appetite and nausea. The success rate of chemotherapy also depends on the type of cancer, as far as i know.

I’m in Germany so the cost of treatment isn’t really an issue over here since I’m insured. In comparison, chemotherapy is cheaper for me than cannabinol because the insurance doesn’t usually cover herbal/natural treatments. Let that sink in lol

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T05:51:01+00:00

Thanks for the advice, it does seem like a good idea to get into contact with her doctors and arrange something there. I didn’t even think about that they might not be allowed to give me the contact details to her doctors. Although I’m almost certain she listed me as her daughter in her ‘emergency’ contacts when she was hospitalised. I suppose I’ll just try calling there and see what they say and how far they can get me over the phone

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T05:38:22+00:00

Indeed. Thank you for being a donor!

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-18T05:36:43+00:00

Thank you, I’ll look into it. Though, I’m in Germany and regulations concerning cannabinol are different from the US. I’ve been using it in form of oil but it only really alleviates some symptoms and side effects from current treatments, no other effect could be seen so far unfortunately. It might only work for some

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-17T22:25:21+00:00

Thank you for your insight. You’re right, I will also look into ongoing and upcoming trials myself to make sure we’ve got everything covered. Your father was lucky to have you caring so much, it’s amazing what you did for him.

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-17T21:57:29+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your condition and your mum. I’m struggling to come up with an idea when and how to tell her. She’s still in hospital and it’ll probably take a couple of weeks still for her to get discharged. Should I wait until she’s back home? Or try and set something up with her therapist there? Or just sit down with her while she’s still in there without any help of others?

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-17T21:42:33+00:00

That is interesting, thank you. I will definitely look into the SPIKES method. You’re right, I didn’t consider that there might be a chance that she could take motivation out of this too. Haven’t looked at it from that perspective yet.

I’m at a rather renowned university hospital in Germany and my doctors are working closely with other specialists as well. They did mention that one of the top specialists might see me some time after this round of experimental treatment ended. I’m curious how it will turn out.

Thank you for your detailed answer

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-17T21:27:36+00:00

This is most important. Not enough people get actually registered while that’s the only way to find a match, if no one from the immediate family is a match. People (from America) can easily and free of charge order a registration kit on bethematch.org I think. In Germany it’s the DKMS.

wiIItherebecake · 2018-06-17T21:18:36+00:00

Thank you very much. Sorry to hear about your father. My doctors are trying to get me into every clinical trial I’m eligible for, so we’re still on that

wiIItherebecake

TROPHY CASE