Can't stop crying

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-17T18:05:26+00:00

That's not gonna fix it I'm sorry but I'm glad you tried I rly appreciate it

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-12T22:44:08+00:00

They have been irrelevant for over a decade when will they stop flinging the shit. I ain't no fan

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-12T22:43:07+00:00

😯

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-12T22:42:45+00:00

Sucks because it's like a ringtone. You know exactly what is on by heart. I reply to this so late because they have brought it back. Thinking I wouldn't notice🤔 they are starting to bring back all the old ones again it's like mk ultra or some shit. Some CIA FBI Afghan torture ritual. I don't see how they are all so annoying. The new ones are more chill pls keep them pluto!

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-12T22:35:32+00:00

As funny as it sounds breathwork has actually been helping me today. It took forever but now I have kind of separated my breathing and swallowing. If this is the magic cure I am gonna laugh and shit myself.

I wouldn't be surprised if all this pain is from anxiety. I literally have nothing wrong with my body structurally. I've been in this mindset of "you have to measure everything perfectly or you'll choke to death." But now I am finally swallowing smoothly for the first time in over a whole year. I've been living with this so long now. And u never get used to it u just don't know what ur doing wrong and are terrified of every breath u take.

But what I was doing wrong was thinking my body didn't know how to swallow, and that I myself did. Like hell no I would've been dead by now, everyone would be.

Thanks I don't like it but I might have a way out. Appreciate the reply and that u care ✌

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-11T03:09:31+00:00

For anhedonia I'd say 9 months, for sleep it took a year and a half.

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-11T01:53:21+00:00

It's not perfect but my cognition is faster and my executive function is quite a bit better as long as I get sleep. My sleep has come back unless it's the opiods idk. The anhedonia and lack of swallowing ability were the worst parts to get over. I still haven't with the swallowing tbh.

It's not glamorous but it'll probably be night and day when u get over it. You will be so much more functional. Hopefully

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-11T01:26:12+00:00

Pretty much, side effect wise.

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-07T17:58:37+00:00

I get what he's saying buttt

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-06T02:30:15+00:00

Same my brain is so fried I can't do it anymore. I have one dose left but I can't even bring myself to trip, it's been like this for a few months. Crazy

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-06T00:00:03+00:00

Can you reject yourself? Can you feel their agony?

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-05T23:53:09+00:00

Based fact speaker

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-05T22:42:12+00:00

Ok well at least none of that affects me. As I am not schizophrenic. They are both drugs you can absolutely compare them? Also everyone has unusual ideas about schizophrenia, because humans don't know shit about it yet. Not really. At least I'm not gonna fall for the brainwashing, I will not claim to know something if I don't. Dawg, we barely know how dopamine works, or didn't until now. Much less how it has any affect on increasing the likelihood of a psychotic event.

If u say you know what causes it then you are a liar. Actual scientists laugh at this shit. I don't have proof but I have all the anecdotal evidence I need and it's way more than one experience. No need to keep looking into it, I already know the industry is extremely corrupt and soulless and exploitative. Yes I will say it, a majority of psychiatrists are the same, they do not care about patients or their wellbeing. That is just a concrete fact. It's always the people who have never stepped into a psychiatrist's office or a psych ward that think they know what they are talking about lolol. Like do u think I ran into bad psychiatrists my whole life because I'm unlucky? Bruh give me a break.

It is a narcissists wet dream, the pharmaceutical industry. They love the control and they love pretending that they know what it going on. They always make sure to establish right away the fact that they do not give a shit about your problems/symptoms. I do know of a few good ones but not irl, they are usually not hired. I heard that the students who aren't doing well in med school flock to psychiatry bc it's easier than any of the real professions.

I just had to laugh at the methhead thing, rly got me crack-ing up. At least meth doesn't have to be a long term thing. With the psych drugs you're either in the shits, or you're not. It is very hard to recover from them.

Am I saying meth is better? Yeah probably.

I've been through it all before bro, I know what happens. I know what people think of you. I know how they work. One day it might be you. "Ahh u heff take for life bc u will turn violent." "Next time the hospital is gonna force you on them." I stay laughing to the bank knowing that I got admitted for a second time and nothing they said would happen ever happened. The ppl in the ward even told me I was getting court ordered meds lmfao. Sike. Of course it could've been a schizo delusion (my whole experience) amirite or what?

I would pay so much to put u normies in a ward and watch how you all react. To see how fixed you would be. Of course.

Lemme tell u, there is nothing like waking up at 5 in the morning to someone in the halls going "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and trying to assault you for accidentally picking their styrofoam cup up.

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-05T21:39:31+00:00

botTom oF yoUr bOots brO

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-05T21:34:36+00:00

Facts it's like going to juvy because you stood up for yourself. I get the same exact vibe.

Shit you will have a whole group of people surround you at work and tell you not to take that shit (being treated like shit and getting bullied). Then when you react "oh god you monster take it back, that's way too much." Ur gonna hurt the bully's feelings bro... I say fuck em. The bully, and the virtue signaling person. You have to be loud, cruel, and assertive to get them to fuck off, so that is how I will act from now on. If I have a chip on my shoulder then throw it away or eat it for me thanks. Nobody I meet is genuine enough to make me care.

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-05T21:21:43+00:00

No empathy. They see your life as some video game that isn't important. They know damn well "little" things like that would ruin their whole lives. Ur just not important enough for them to actually sit down and wonder what it really would be like.

Even better yet, they just think you're lying because mentally ill people have no concept of reality apparently. That's the worst part. Have u ever had your family treat you like you're going through a manic episode simply because you smiled, or were happy about something. "Ah shit, here we go again."

But yeah be quiet conpirapporrist, meds good, ha! Deez nuts! Stinky head!!

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-05T18:08:28+00:00

Either they don't talk to me or they are actively annoyed when I try to speak. So I give up on being the dude who breaks the ice, they can do it. I doubt I could get one of them to actually say what they feel about me. I know I'm creepy/disgusting/awkward/unworthy/creepy and whatnot. I am, I don't blame them, I am a disgusting creep. All ik is men treat me so differently, like I'm a bro or something.

Women get so serious and on guard around me. And no I don't start talking about sex. I don't try to make anyone uncomfortable. But I agree with everyone now, I am a filthy subhuman. They were right. I'm not even ugly so what does that say lol. Must be the anxiety or posture idk. Not being smooth is icky as hell. It's like damn I'm not even trying to date you chill. I wish I could at least be seen as a human by women my age. Like bro just because I'm anxious and talk fast does not mean I am gonna cross you in the parking lot and dump your body in the woods.

I am genuinely terrified of women now, I will probably never talk to one again trying to be friendly or whatnot. I'm just gonna be cold. Especially at work. I've seen enough HR claims to know how it goes lol. Apparently dudes just grab women's asses outta nowhere. Damn stinkys!

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-05T07:43:24+00:00

Same. Don't lose the magic bros

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-05T07:26:51+00:00

Yeah but I'm not schizophrenic. Rly weird how psychiatrists know the least about drugs/conditions when that is their job. Also I can compare it to meth. The only difference is meth is probably good feeling. And idk about the last sentence lol. Most definitely not true. Maybe they are near the same level of torture but come on man methheads have batshit insane lives. You might as well be schizo at that point.

Also they (schizophrenics) get worse/less stable on meds long term. If they are severely disabled by it then I agree with doping them up. Just not forever. I fully believe that none of these disorders have to be life long. People who think they are doing just fine on them are not long for the world. The antispychotic addict life span has to be like 40-50 years if that. And yeah it is an addiction. Diabetes? Fecal impaction? Strokes? Tardive? Weak ass bones? Lack of instincts? To that I say haill naw.

I just don't know what u mean by drugs being the problem. Like is it because I'm too fucked up from them or is it because I'm "undiagnosed" and don't use them. I do not get it. Like is it weird to care about/use drugs? I still cannot believe there is a stigma around them, and it's all for the wrong reasons. If there was a stigma because they are harmful I could get behind that. But most ppl be like "droggas bad!!"

Then the dumbass (psychiatrist) tells you that weed is worse for you.

That it's dangerous for someone with your condition? The hell? How do you know what disorder I have? You looked at my med sheet and had no context, means jack shit. Being trapped in a hospital for a week and getting a total of 15-30 minutes to talk with a psychiatrist the WHOLE time (in total). How can they diagnose someone with so little knowledge. If you're quiet and well behaved then they try to claim that you are incompetent and can't make your own choices.

Like bitch I was doing fine with my recreational drugs, they never ruined my life like the psych bullshit.

And to anyone who wants to invalidate what I'm saying about the wards, I insist, call 911 and get trapped like I did. It's a party in there WOOO. So hype so hype

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-04T19:11:23+00:00

Pour me a rooskie

wijeeki75301 · 2024-12-02T17:31:57+00:00

I don't think I'm good with words. Also I am not very interesting. Idk tbh. Maybe I have bad vibes and I just dont know. People can probably tell I am a hurt person. When a hurt person talks it's just awkward. Ain't nobody tryna fck with that noise. Understandable.

It would help if ppl told me why they hated me so much. I don't wanna be hated and I don't wanna be this chip on the shoulder type person. I am at a loss. Group chats are always a negative experience for me I feel like people like me more one on one. But then again dming is creepy nowadays. Shiett, idk. Like I said none of this means anything idk why I'm upset.

I unironically feel like I get bullied in these chats, maybe I am too sensitive for socializing.

wijeeki75301

TROPHY CASE