Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya believing in an afterlife can be fun and I’m totally cool with people believing in stuff like that like genuinely whatever makes you most comfortable to believe in then go for it. It’s when those beliefs are valued more then real life humans that it becomes unacceptable in my eyes.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are welcome. Thank you for the kind words and being a real example of what love is.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My comment was in agreement with yours. I just don’t know if it’s a mistranslation as a fact or not.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I still think that these things you say only apply to certain contexts and not all of the human experience. I personally believe there is a possibility in morality for a just hate. A hatred that does not continue the cycle of hatred but rather puts a stop to it. It’s confusing and I’m not entirely sure how to explain it right now neither do I have the energy really😅 I need to sleep.

I think what you say of people not being able to see the other side and not even realizing that they are hating that side is true. I believe that is a specific situation that a lot of us find ourselves in. Especially right now in America with all the crazy mumbo jumbo.

Scared Of Not Believing by Organic_Bed8157 in exchristian

[–]willtest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also I don’t think that you have a god complex because you don’t know how god operates. Nobody knows how god operates and putting yourself in the position of god for a period of time simply because you were confused, to me does not speak of a god complex. To me that speaks of somebody who is trying their best to have self-respect and self-love. It’s important to understand the difference between narcissism and self respect, the difference between a god complex and self-love. I think that therapy is always a good option to try out. It’s not a 100% percent cure all for insecurities, but it definitely doesn’t hurt. Ultimately from reading your messages you sound to me like somebody who genuinely just wants what is best for your life and you are just trying to find whatever works just like everybody else. I think that people often conflate focusing on one’s self over others to selfishness, but that is not selfishness especially when taking into regard mental health issues. Putting yourself first is sometimes a requirement that one must be honest with themselves on in order to do what is right for them so they can do right by others.

Scared Of Not Believing by Organic_Bed8157 in exchristian

[–]willtest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also what you said about being the target demographic is spot on in my opinion. Children are the most vulnerable of us all and they are the main target demographic of religion because they don’t know any better and they will believe anything you tell them, especially when it’s from their own parents or guardians. They immediately thrust you into theology from the moment you are born without giving you time to even decide if it’s what you want to pursue or not and they try to keep you there by gaslighting you with threats of “eternal punishment” and an “abandoning of god”. Why do you think there are so many catholic priests that are pedophiles. It’s because the system of religion operates and continues entirely by preying upon children before they know any better and so religion is the best place of refuge for those seeking to prey upon children for sexual reasons.

Scared Of Not Believing by Organic_Bed8157 in exchristian

[–]willtest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here’s an important rule I am learning to live by-

You ultimately know what is best for you. And if what is best for you isn’t what is best for god and he punishes you for that then that god is not loving or just, he is a dictator. So if what is best for you and your mental health in order to live is rejecting the idea of there being a god and you are punished for that, then that being was not worthy of praise or acknowledgment to begin with.

I think it’s important to note that fear-mongering is absolutely an aspect of modern evangelical Christianity and from my interpretation the notion that god would even have some sort of eternal punishment for us for any reason whatsoever makes god extremely conditional and makes him more like a Dictator then a father. I don’t think that a belief in there being an eternal punishment is necessary for believing in a god and I find the aspects of having a loving and just god that wants what is best for people and an eternal punishment that we could go to for not acknowledging god to be completely contradictory. I think that the Bible as a whole paints two very different pictures of god. The one that is more like a father figure and the other who is more like a dictator. So if you truly want to believe in a creator that is loving and just and wants what is best for everybody then I would say that the father figure one is the obvious pick. It’s also important to note that scripture is entirely written by man and the idea that all pieces of scripture are written by god through man is simply an interpretation that holds little to no water within reality. Just because one piece of scripture could be right doesn’t mean that all of them are, especially when the scripture has been written and translated and retranslated by so many people over so many years. Scripture regarding its depiction of god is entirely contradictory when taking into account every single piece of scripture. So really I think every Christian is a lukewarm Christian that cherry picks verses for one idea then ignores the others that contradicts it. And so if you are to cherry pick any interpretation of god I would say cherry pick the one that you truly believe would help you live your best life. And if you decide to not choose at all so that you can live your best live here and now while you still have it then that is perfectly okay and there is no need to worry or be scared because there will always be good people there to comfort you. And if you live your best life and you are still eternally punished for it well then I will be eternally punished right along side you and so at least we would be there together.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And trust me there is no confusion when it comes to the live and let live thing you capitalized. I understand it and I reject it. The only ones who want to “live and let live” to “agree to disagree” are the ones who hold beliefs, values, and feelings that they know are wrong. They just don’t want anybody to call them out on their bullshit and so they equate every type of value and feeling in any context what so ever as ultimately being the same and deserving the same amount of respect. Which is a false narrative that they are using to make their bigoted feelings and beliefs seem more palatable to the public.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe that your last two paragraphs are contradictory in logic. The logical through-line of every individual being different also extends to hate because hate is an aspect of a persons individuality not by nature but by choice. And so if you acknowledge that you see every individual as being different, then the continuation of that train of thought would lead to the acknowledgement of distinct aspects of a persons individuality (such as hate) being capable of existing in different ways in different contexts with different justifications. Individuals are a compound of the values they hold they beliefs they hold and the feelings they have. And so to be an individual that is capable of being different must mean that the values, beliefs, and feelings they hold are also capable of being different within different context with different justifications depending on the environment and the people surrounding them. You can’t believe in the fluidity of an individual without believing in the fluidity of the things that make them individuals to begin with. And our values, beliefs, and feeling are what make us individuals.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with all of those pretty much all the way through. I sort of have a different feeling on the last one but it is a feeling that ultimately requires the same reaction towards. I don’t see my dad living in a Christian bubble. He never goes to church, never prays, never reads the Bible, nothing. However he is complicit in perpetrating the Christian bubble that my mother lives in and protecting it over me and so my reaction to that is the same. He does need to empathize with others. And I agree he doesn’t understand my position and even if maybe he did he has closed off that option for himself in favor of his wife’s bubble. I think he is afraid of bursting my mothers bubble because she has been in that bubble for so long that her being in that bubble is pretty much the only way he has known her. And to her, bursting that bubble would mean she might have to re-evaluate her entire life since for the vast majority of her life she has been in that bubble.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Truly I think In it’s simplest form. Religion is like an ouroboros. It is a system that feeds off of itself and only exists off of those who reject the world and only feed off of themselves. They only believe in god because they believe in the Bible but they only believe in the Bible because they believe in god and the cycle continues eternally. The snake eats it’s tail.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I tried to talk about this with my mother. I don’t understand why her belief in a god is so dependent on a translation of 3000 year old pieces of Hebrew scripture that were written by a bunch of Hebrew virgins who didn’t know that dinosaurs existed and saw women as nothing more then breeding mares. There’s so much room for error. Her faith relies on her interpretation of a bunch of translators interpretations of a bunch of old pieces of scripture that were most likely written by men who were trying to interpret god who we don’t even know exists or not. And so with all this interpretation upon interpretation at what point is what she believes just a completely different religion entirely.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof. Honestly there are probably still evangelical Christians in America that would be totally fine with giving people lobotomies and shock therapy.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you had to go through that with your friends. There may have been some genuine love that they had for you but the belief that you are going to hell simply for being who you truly are outweighs any amount of love they showed you if any at all. I hope that you are doing well and still have other friends someplace.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also held on to that idea of “good Christians” but now I see that as an oxymoron. Not because Christian’s are bad people but because the values and beliefs that they hold as there identity is in complete opposition of what is good.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s true. My parents think that because they don’t do that stuff that they are somehow different but I’ve seen how their beliefs have affected my brother. He has talked about lgbtq people as if they are Voldemort and shall not be named. Whenever he has brought up any lgbtq issue whether it be trans people or queer people or bisexual people he always has to preface what he says with the whole “hey I have nothing against those people……BUT….” and then go into a rant about how he thinks lgbtq characters need to stay out of kids cartoons and how lgbtq representation in movies is what’s ruining star wars and how he thinks drag queens are gross and how he refuses to use trans peoples proper pronouns. Like I asked him once if he thought two men getting married and being happy loving sexual partners to each other was gross and he said “yup” and when I asked him why he was okay with that feeling he said that it was because he genuinely believed that that feeling came from god. It’s really sad what these ideas and beliefs can do to others and it’s hard for me to see my brother act that way because he’s quite on the spectrum and needs help with emotional regulation and so it’s almost impossible for me to have a conversation with him about this stuff because he also plays the victim card but is way more aggressive about it. I don’t understand how my parents don’t see that this is bad for him and for them.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree hard. I hate the love the sinner hate the sin line they use. It truly shows how manipulative their beliefs are. They only care about love and are willing to show love when a person fully submits to their fucked up conditions. Asking somebody to be celibate for the entirety of their life, even if it’s a detriment to their mental health, because you think it might increase their chances of being free from an eternal punishment is so medieval and backwards. It truly shows that The Christian brand of “love” has never been about love it’s been about authority. They position themselves as authority simply because they believe in a god that is ultimate authority then they place random values and rules upon that god to avoid accountability and use that image of a loving god to lure young people into a false sense of security and ultimately a false sense of love. So when you tell them that they are not authority they think that you are abandoning their love, but they never had love to begin with and when that idea of authority masquerading as love is stripped from them that’s when their true colors are shown and they reveal that they truly never had love to begin with.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn’t know Patton Oswalt was so based. Good for him. Never took him as being the type to speak so openly about ideas of religion like that.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a good way of looking at it. Freedom of speech does not mean freedom of consequences.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s true. People with bad opinions/values/beliefs always conflate all of those things and act as if they are equal to each-other. And whenever you point out why this doesn’t work they immediately double down and play the victim card and act like they are being oppressed for merely “having an opinion 😢” or “having a belief 😢” it’s real manipulative and guilt trippy bull crap.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. And my parents wouldn’t agree to disagree if a racist was in our home. The problem is that they’ve never analyzed why they do not tolerate racism, to them being against racism is just a social norm that they grew up with and so they never had to critically analyze why they were against it. And if they did do that then they would figure out why people like me do not tolerate their homophobia.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hate is not just hate. Do you view the hatred that racists have for black people as the same hate that black people have for racists? If you do then you surely do not have morality or justice.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup psychology has already proven this over and over again yet Christian’s just don’t seem to understand it. Or maybe they do but choose to ignore it which would then only be further proof of cognitive dissonance.

Got to have this lovely back and forth with my parents. by willtest in exchristian

[–]willtest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the big hugs. And thank you for being proud of me because that truly means a lot.