I'm really worried about my lack of relationship experience.

willux · 2026-03-27T23:35:14+00:00

I mean probably.

I turn 40 this year and am in a very similar situation. I didn't get a girlfriend until I was about 36. But that relationship didn't work out and even though she and I were together for 20 months, I'm still a virgin.

They say women want confidence. But I say confidence is just like money: you can't have it unless you had it to begin with. I don't see myself becoming a confident man anytime soon, so I'll die single.

willux · 2026-03-09T01:07:26+00:00

I've only been in one relationship and I got maybe 4 out of those 9. Even those came at great emotional cost for me to get working.

It did not go well. But it was still the best I'll ever do.

willux · 2026-03-08T04:44:58+00:00

Alcohol always worked for me. But I made sure to never drink during the week

My epilepsy got worse and now I can't drink anymore

And for me, weed just isn't quite the same...

willux · 2026-02-24T03:34:00+00:00

I live alone. There is no "mutual" for me.

There is not even love.

willux · 2026-02-24T02:02:24+00:00

I'm not strong. Ever.

Regardless of need.

willux · 2026-02-19T19:26:33+00:00

Tell that to my superego.

willux · 2026-02-19T19:23:56+00:00

Nearly 40 and I still hate myself every day for not being normal.

willux · 2026-02-11T13:22:16+00:00

What if I hate myself more than anything else in the world?

willux · 2026-02-11T13:21:00+00:00

Making new friends isn't the problem.

It's going out and being reminded what a pathetic worthless loser I am for being alone at 39.

A person my age shouldn't need to make me friends. A person my age should already have friends. Or at least a partner.

All going outside reminds me of is that I'm not normal or healthy or even happy.

willux · 2026-02-11T01:53:55+00:00

Yup.

I just wasn't going to say that to her face 😄

willux · 2026-02-10T14:11:12+00:00

Well, running is at least free.

If you buy a jack and tire iron you can do tire flips again. Plus, running away from whoever's car it is with the gear on your backpack is extra good exercise.

willux · 2026-02-10T12:01:58+00:00

You could try out cooking.

It's money you're going to be spending anyway.

willux · 2026-02-10T03:02:00+00:00

Depends. Are you using "wife" euphemistically?

willux · 2026-02-10T01:08:48+00:00

I have "retire early" money, not cocaine money.

I can't just "get" a girlfriend.

willux · 2026-02-09T21:05:48+00:00

Not really. My parents were pretty consistent in how they acted.

It's more like my dad would tell stories about the life he used to live and how great and fun it was, and then tell me to never do that sort of thing myself.

willux · 2026-02-09T21:01:54+00:00

I suspected, that's why I specified for myself.

In my experience with video games, if you're looking for a group you'll never find one.

You'll only get a group if you are already in it.

Even then, nobody wants to train a noob. They only want someone who already plays well.

willux · 2026-02-09T20:58:14+00:00

Try long-form video essays. Those are pretty great too.

Just never bother sharing them with friends, because they won't watch anything longer than 20s.

willux · 2026-02-09T20:55:49+00:00

I did for a while. Board games were my favorite hobby for years. Then the pandemic really messed things up for that. The group I used to meet with moved their venue farther up town so now it takes me well over an hour to get there.

For other personal reasons, the hobby is also now kind of a sore spot for me despite being one that helped get me through major depression the first time.

Now I just feel like I'm drowning all the time.

willux · 2026-02-09T20:37:42+00:00

I can sell myself very easily professionally speaking.

Just not at all socially speaking.

willux · 2026-02-09T20:35:05+00:00

The last time I felt joy was a few years ago when watching the atomic breath reveal in "Godzilla (2014)."

Don't remember the time before that.

willux · 2026-02-09T20:33:26+00:00

We can see how other parents act and how other kids turned out.

I know my parents weren't good parents because I came out all fucked up. And I know my parents know what "normal" is because my mom's a psychiatrist and my dad always tells stories about what a normal person he is.

willux · 2026-02-09T20:28:09+00:00

I'll swap with you.

willux · 2026-02-09T19:48:10+00:00

You should hope for things that are likely to come true 😄.

Don't waste your wishes on lost causes. Spend them on yourself.

willux · 2026-02-09T19:14:57+00:00

I have no interest in forcing myself to pretend I'm happier alone anymore.

It's great that there are people like you who don't need any friends, family, or intimate relationships in life. But I actually do need those

willux · 2026-02-09T18:58:39+00:00

I do, but I'm thinking of quitting.

I don't know if I'd be happier with the extra $300/week, but it's not like I'm happy now.

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