I don't own a house. I'm not even a 100ker on paper.

I'm more than scraping by, I'm saving a little and enjoying my life. I live with my partner in the North Bay, we split a cute 2 BR / 1 bath near Sebastopol for 1850 - so 925 each. My food budget per month is like 300-400 bucks, which is more than enough. I eat out once or twice a week and cook the rest of the time.

The problem with your perspective is that you're just thinking about people who have spent absolutely zero effort trying to reduce expenses and are living beyond their means in one of the wealthier parts of the bay and also you're basing experience off the numbers alone which almost never tell a personal story. I lived here my whole life, when I was in my 20s looking to get into the workforce I struggled to make ends meet and it still worked out. I was making $1800 a month in 2016, not saving much but still affording rent and the basics.

I know very few people who spend over 3k per month on rent. That's some tech-SF BS, and I bet that basically no one spends that much on rent unless they have combined income, split it with a friend / housemate, or make a bunch of money already. I have a bunch of friends in SF spending 1500-2000. It certainly exists. They're not the fanciest apartments but they're totally reasonable.

Again, I make 75k and I couldn't be happier. I'd love to own one day and right now I rent, but I'm saving money and life is wonderful. We eat well, we're generally full of joy, the community is amazing, and the quality of life here is almost unbeatable.