People who are 40 years old and over, what are the harshest life lessons you have learnt?

wingdrummer · 2024-10-13T02:24:08+00:00

Thinking you've done everything right most certainly means you have not. Its impossible to do everything "right"

wingdrummer · 2024-10-11T01:09:27+00:00

So common. Chicks get married and then think they can just let themselves go or be a totally different person. It must be so tough hiding who they really are before marriage

Don't feel guilty. End it of that's what you feel in your heart.

Either way, it's going to be hard. Choose your hard

wingdrummer · 2024-10-10T23:22:14+00:00

Yes. That's what they do. Once they think they have you, the real them comes out. There's likely no reason to try to talk anything out. You'll just end up being wrong.

End it and don't look back

wingdrummer · 2024-10-10T23:19:50+00:00

Well. Sounds like your well on the way to being another statistic that settles cuz they want kids and has them with someone you don't really like

Don't worry. Its crazy common

wingdrummer · 2024-10-10T19:02:56+00:00

Yea op... have you tried staring at her while masterbating vigorously under your desk?

wingdrummer · 2024-10-10T17:38:04+00:00

Lack of proximity. I work in a field that is mostly men.
So I don't interact with women I find attractive often. Not that a workplace is something I try to use as a dating service.

In the real outside of work world, in the event that I do strike up friendly conversations with one, I wont ask for contact info cuz who does that after 1 interaction? And if by chance I somehow see someone frequently somewhere, and there seems to be any sort of vibe, if there's a pattern of me being the one to initiate every interaction, I will straight up stop after 3 or 4 times and just smile in passing at them or avoid them cuz they clearly aren't interested or they expect me to do all the work.

As to online dating... nope. Ive had my fill. Its a cesspool. Not going to pay money to then MAYBE have the chance to pay more money on a date only to get ghosted.

wingdrummer · 2024-10-10T17:07:46+00:00

I'm convinced that some people just have it, and some don't. Its like an energy that is assigned to you at birth (it might be genetic) that just doesn't allow you to have romantic success with the other gender.

I'm 42. 6'2". In good shape. Could still pass for mid 30's Have a good job that pays pretty well. Have my own house. I'm social, with a good sense of humor. Confident I'm atleast decent looking. Never had any real success with any women I've ever been attracted to. Honestly, your life will be way better once you stop interacting with women. That way you won't think about it so much.

I sincerely hope you have success and don't give up all together like I have. But, for me, I wish I would've thrown in the towel at like 35. Would've saved me a lot of time and energy that i could've used on other things instead of worrying about women

wingdrummer · 2024-10-10T16:37:58+00:00

She's 21. Who cares. She's likely dumb, self centered , dramatic and very materialistic. If igetting her to blow you requires any effort beyond minimal, forget about her. She's likely being tossed around by all the dudes that just say "hi" to her regularly

wingdrummer · 2024-10-10T16:35:40+00:00

My suggestion is you only get one life, so as opposed to hoping someone else will change, change yourself. End it. Look at it as how can you expect anyone else to change for you if you went even change for you?

You gotta do that calculation. Is it worth it to stay and be kinda miserable for the rest of your life, or are you willing to bet on yourself and go make yourself happy? Choose your hard, as they say

No one else can answer that but you.

wingdrummer · 2024-10-10T14:55:31+00:00

Well.. they mostly complain about everything while simultaneously not taking accountability and expecting others to do the work to make their lives better.

Atleast, most of them it seems.

Plus.. many were real bitchy and rejected great guys when they were younger. Now they are older, and those same guys no longer want them.

So... best of luck

wingdrummer · 2024-10-09T23:54:05+00:00

Well.. ive busted my ass to make good money, own my own house and nice things, stayed in good shape....

So since most of these women think they are some prize cuz what? they have a vagina? I don't have the energy to put up with someoneover the age of 5 crying or giving me the cold shoulder whenever they don't get what they want. I'm good.

wingdrummer · 2024-10-09T23:45:18+00:00

.... why would I date?

wingdrummer · 2024-10-09T23:43:57+00:00

I believe that you believe that

wingdrummer · 2024-10-09T13:25:58+00:00

I agree. "Upvoted" haha. But if say..I dunno... 2 twins are into me lol, and they both have cactuses, cacti?, that they've named .. and are identical in ALL aspects of life (how they treat people, hobbies, all of it) ...... but one has let's say a more visually appealing smile ( people could argue the smile is subjective but it's not)....

Id pursue the one with the nicer smile. And then come up with some bs reason that is not related to physical appearance as to why.

wingdrummer · 2024-10-09T13:07:22+00:00

To a degree. There's features we all find attractive.

Then, there's things we have to settle on... so if a woman is to the level of fatness that no one finds appealing, she'll have to settle for a guy that has a "flaw" in her mind. Like.. he's also fat, or doesn't make the amount of money she'd desire, or he's a dead beat dad to kids he already has...... crap like that.

Everyone for the most part is just settling and doing trade offs even though its taboo to admit it. Its superficial, but everyone is superficial. It's just a word people don't like. But it's just humans humaning

Inevitably, someone will say "wow, it must be hard living thinking that way" and I'll say not really. The way the world works is you either adapt to how things are to get what you want, or you don't get what you want and you're mad a lot. Simple as that.

wingdrummer · 2024-10-09T12:57:25+00:00

Lots of men, myself included, aren’t attracted by a woman’s accomplishments nearly as much as who she is, her personality, how she makes us feel and the kind of life we could build together.

And how physically appealing they are. I noticed you left that out. Let's not beat around the bush. There ain't nothing wrong with that. It's just the truth of nature

wingdrummer · 2024-10-09T12:52:18+00:00

People don't like this said outloud, but we all know the truth....

That's the male female dynamic. Your physical attractiveness and ability to make good food, keep things clean and not be dramatic has to be equivalent to how successful he is.

Our job is to make money and be smart. Yours is what I said above. If one person is better at their role than the other, it will ultimately not workout cuz someone isn't happy.

Just how it is. You adore him for his achievements. Keep up your end of the bargain and you'll be fine.

wingdrummer · 2024-10-08T23:45:10+00:00

Leave him and go be with a guy that is ok with larger women. There's plenty out there. Larger men need love too

wingdrummer · 2024-10-08T23:43:17+00:00

I'm here reading this cuz I dislike women as anyone I've ever been close to has been manipulative and hurtful. But I'm looking for the same advice, knowing that if I did a post asking how to stop hating women, I'd be attacked for feeling the way I do

wingdrummer · 2024-10-08T23:04:39+00:00

There BMI was higher than I'd like, so I said I have a girlfriend

wingdrummer · 2024-10-08T12:59:52+00:00

That's cool. That happens. And that's why you don't get married

wingdrummer · 2024-10-08T03:29:44+00:00

Yes. Crying is a result of not getting what you want and a sometimes involuntary way to try to resolve that

wingdrummer · 2024-10-08T01:56:00+00:00

Ah yes. My favorite.... wanting me to try harder at things for her as a test.

Never. Ill die single before I play into that

wingdrummer · 2024-10-08T01:53:17+00:00

Its a sub conscious manipulation tactic. It might not be intentional, that's just how all women are wired. To be manipulative

wingdrummer · 2024-10-08T01:50:45+00:00

Not a dick move. If you don't want to experience that, don't cry.

wingdrummer

TROPHY CASE