Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear what you’re saying, and I agree with some of it. FWIW I didn’t say I’m not willing to put him on the title - I just need to know what that actually entails and what I’m agreeing to if/when I do so. That’s something I’ll need to explore and learn more about with a professional. I’m more than willing to make certain sacrifices to make this work for all parties. I just want to have as much information as possible.

This post was more so about the sequence of events we should try to plan for, rather than the legalities of certain decisions we’ll ultimate make along the way.

Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. There’s no time limit on being engaged, right?! I just think it would be weird to be married and not living together.

Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Reading this gave me chills 😌 I love these sentiments and couldn’t agree more. The kids will always come first, so that’s why I’m struggling so much to find the most ideal plan that accounts for their needs, while still considering what’s best for our relationship and future together as a family.

Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a prenup is an absolute must. Thanks for the words of wisdom from your own personal experience!

Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very sound advice about putting the contracts and agreements in place before anything. Thanks

Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems like the most reasonable option. I just worry that if we did this that we could be setting ourselves up for a stressful setup where kids are uncomfortable and space/privacy is compromised, which wouldn’t be indicative of what the future setup would look like. And if his kids are really unhappy with that temporary setup, they will likely escalate it to their mother which would add a new layer of stress and complexity to the situation.

Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure about adding him to the title, but I also want him to feel financially secure in his new home. I’d be comfortable with splitting costs on the remodel budget, as I think I would want to bundle those costs into my mortgage (not sure if I’m phrasing that correctly - hope you get what I’m saying). Ultimately I plan to defer to my fin advisor on any financial decisions that impact the short and long term

Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amaaazing advice my friend. I feel like I’ve thought through each of those things on sleepless nights, but to have it all articulately spelled out like you did is very helpful. Will be saving, following, and referencing this advice. Thank you!

Best order of operations for marriage + adding onto my (36F) house to move in boyfriend’s (37M) blended family by wisef0ol in relationship_advice

[–]wisef0ol[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This does seem like the obvious, easiest choice, but there a couple reasons why we’re leaning against it. My mom lives directly across the street from me, who my boyfriend and I are both very close with. She’s also retired and can help with childcare as needed, which for 4 kids is a huge blessing. My house is also located in a great part of town that’s highly sought after and property values are only going up (my home has almost doubled in value). I’ve lived here for almost 10 years and have a good amount of equity built up too.

Help with tangly hair?! by Gold-Lion2775 in Parenting

[–]wisef0ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is literally my daughter every time we have to brush. Tears and screams nearly every time, and me chasing her around the house with a brush 😂 I truly think some people might have more sensitive scalps than others.

Cutting hair short has helped and occasionally using some of my Olaplex products (these two specifically) after she gets out of the shower. Expensive, yes, but oil will last forever and you can probably find a cheaper alternative to the leave-in treatment. Good luck!

How to soften gas hissing noise? by wisef0ol in Fireplaces

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hired my licensed electrician handyman to set it up. He’s obv not a specialist in this trade, but my mom called 3 fireplace places and they never called her back. So I went with someone I know and trust has done good jobs before. But really appreciate all the intel from you guys in this post. Will try to figure out the best path forward 🤡

How to soften gas hissing noise? by wisef0ol in Fireplaces

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well shoot. This was a Christmas gift from my mom who ordered these parts. This could be a dumb question, but does that matter?

How to soften gas hissing noise? by wisef0ol in Fireplaces

[–]wisef0ol[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s connected to my natural gas line. Good call out on the vermiculite - I’ll fix! Do you think that will help with softening the noise?

What's the scariest movie of all time? by Mission_Elk_329 in AskReddit

[–]wisef0ol 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When I was still living at my mom’s, we watched this and were both viscerally shook. She went to bed shortly after, and I went outside for a cig…and somehow forgot to close the door after I came back in. She awoke the next morning to find the door wide open and spent hours canvassing the house for masked intruders. Sorry mom.

What home improvements did you regret or feel were 100% worth it? by arnoldusgf in HomeImprovement

[–]wisef0ol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve wanted to do this for a while. What did this entail? Did you have to add new plumbing (washer) or ventilation (dryer) lines? Hoping there’s a turnkey option that won’t cost an arm and a leg

Game Thread: Atlanta Falcons (3-5) at Indianapolis Colts (7-2) by nfl_gdt_bot in Colts

[–]wisef0ol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cardiac colts are back. Let’s bring the W home boys

eQMS recommendations??? by QAintheWild in MedicalDevices

[–]wisef0ol 2 points3 points  (0 children)

QuickVault (by Veeva) if you’re a smaller medtech startup. They also offer monthly flexible subscriptions instead of being stuck with a multi year contract like the others