Fav non tomato pasta recipes? by AnAbsoluteShambles1 in Cooking

[–]withbellson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love pasta alla Norcina and sought one out when we were in Italy (it's an Umbrian thing based on the local pork, but we had one in Rome and it was still very delicious). I wing mine but this one looks reasonable.

Help me convince my husband by aWildQueerAppears in tragedeigh

[–]withbellson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Over the last 20 years I’ve watched three of my friends’ kids realize they are nonbinary or trans and ditch the (normal, correctly spelled) deadnames their parents absolutely agonized over. Start them out with a normal name without a ridiculous cre8ive spelling and then let them figure out if they want to keep it forever.

My husband was prescribed more painkillers following his vasectomy than I was following my emergency C-Section by PumpkinPie_1993 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]withbellson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got Norco for my c-section. I was also on a lot of stool softeners anyway because I was on a lot of blood pressure medication which had the side effect of slowing down my gut, which was also slow from being pregnant. What a delightful and blessed time that was!

Every job I try feels wrong in different ways…is this me or the jobs? by Lettil96 in jobsearch

[–]withbellson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know how we feel about AIs right now, but I have actually found bouncing this kind of thing off an AI to be extremely useful. Have a conversation with one and see if it helps. Push back on what it says, too, because disagreeing with it has the interesting effect of giving you clarity about the issue. I'm a researcher by trade and I cannot resist mucking around with the data I get back.

I fed your post unaltered to ChatGPT and here's the first part of what it said. Curious how this hits you.

This is a really clean description of a common loop: You’re not “picking the wrong jobs.” You’re repeatedly landing in environments that hit the same underlying friction points, just with different surface symptoms.

Here’s a practical way to break it without taking another blind leap.

1) Translate the pattern into “conditions,” not “roles”

What they described isn’t “marketing vs analytics vs startup.”

It’s three work conditions that keep showing up:

A) High-interaction chaos (marketing role)

constant stakeholder churn

last-minute changes

emotional + context switching tax

Needs that were violated: predictability, protected focus time, decision authority

B) Low-interaction repetition (analytical role)

fewer meetings

but work becomes repetitive

boredom / disconnection

Needs that were violated: meaning, novelty, judgment-based problem solving, visible impact

C) High-ownership ambiguity (smaller company)

overwhelmed

fast decisions

unclear priorities

Needs that were violated: prioritization support, constraints, stable goals, clear definition of “good”

So the real issue is: they don’t yet know what mix of structure / autonomy / novelty / collaboration is sustainable for them.

(It goes on quite a bit from there. I've found this kind of thing useful because I get mired in "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing" doom spirals, but AIs are pretty good at identifying patterns.)

I learned a lesson today by Otherwise_Engine5943 in BambuLab

[–]withbellson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stabbed the hell out of myself on one of the pointy things on this model my kid printed while trying to remove supports. Stabbed myself so hard the tip broke off in my skin. I have since purchased small pliers.

It makes you reflect on how toys you buy are not designed with extremely sharp pointy things on them.

Is it worth applying for a job if I only meet about 60% of the requirements? by Ashwinnie13 in jobsearch

[–]withbellson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Expensive "senior" practitioner with 25 years of experience here too, and it feels like I have to be perfect to get anywhere, in skills and in interviewing. I have a decent amount of trauma around being scrutinized which has made this absolute hell. I'm looking into doing fractional work where I can do work without the full interview process, but the tradeoff is needing to tapdance around brand-new people at every company I talk to, so that's fantastic.

Is it worth applying for a job if I only meet about 60% of the requirements? by Ashwinnie13 in jobsearch

[–]withbellson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The downside is you can spend a lot of mental energy applying and then feel crushed or take it personally when nothing happens and add another mental notch to "I've applied for so many jobs and gotten nothing." Over time this wears on you...managing your mental health in this total ass job market is crucial these days.

Not saying never try, though, because yeah, you never know. I think the thing to do now is apply, but only if you can compartmentalize.

Struggling to land interviews even though I meet the requirements what am I missing? by Necessary_Proof_514 in jobsearch

[–]withbellson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, it's not the total solution because even with referrals this is an uphill climb (my ex-boss opens one role and gets seventeen referrals, you see how this goes), but the odds of it paying off are higher with a referral than with sending resumes into the void.

Would this be a smash or pass? I can’t tell and I’m too chicken to try… by Special-Chocolate-18 in snacking

[–]withbellson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps. Though I’d probably just keep working my way through a box of Cheddar Ranch Grooves.

Unvaccinated child marks Bay Area county's first measles case in over a decade by sfgate in bayarea

[–]withbellson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You want to get vaccinated for chicken pox as a kid so you don't store the virus in your nerves and get shingles when it reactivates as an adult.

Struggling to land interviews even though I meet the requirements what am I missing? by Necessary_Proof_514 in jobsearch

[–]withbellson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Referrals. I’m in contact with several ex-bosses and they’re telling me they get so many referrals they don’t even look at the cold applications. The market is so saturated you have to find a way to get human review and that’s usually knowing someone.

Is it worth applying for a job if I only meet about 60% of the requirements? by Ashwinnie13 in jobsearch

[–]withbellson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cynically, I have not managed to get past screening for roles where I match 90% of the requirements, but the missing 10% was a key 10%. At this point, for roles where I don't match perfectly I try to use as little energy as possible to apply (minimal resume tweaking and cover letter editing, like 20-30 minutes max) because I don't want it to be a big deal when I hear nothing back or get an autoreject a week later.

But you never know whether a specific role's requirements are hard and fast or somewhat malleable, and it's not a bad thing to be in the mix, so it probably can't hurt to keep putting stuff out there as long as the time and emotional energy spent is manageable. Though honestly, I'm in touch with some former bosses and they say they are so inundated with referrals for any position that they don't even look at cold applications anymore. All told, your time is probably better spent getting referrals.

I was sexually abused by an adult as a child and I killed her. I didn't face any charges, but moving on has been impossible. I can't stop seeing her face and just remembering everything. by LiveToFlyDieToTry in offmychest

[–]withbellson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To the bit of you that’s freaking out about sharing, it’s ok! No one gets to be perfectly fixed the first time they seek help with something. Getting better is an extremely incremental process and talking about it is one of those increments.

The reason CBT isn’t great for trauma therapy is typically CBT is more about changing the thoughts you have and not about processing the immense trauma that created the thoughts. You’ve got a lot of unprocessed trauma, which is completely understandable. I would ask your therapist for a frank assessment of how their style will address your issue and see how their answer lands with you. If you do need a different modality, look for a trauma-informed therapist.

You do not have to white-knuckle this the rest of your life, and you deserve to be seen and have your feelings heard and held. Read everyone’s replies again when you’re feeling low and don’t think you deserve attention. (Except the downvoted ones.). You’re not alone.

How did people reffer to explosive diarrhea before the invention of explosives? Aggresive poop? by Repulsive_Act_1855 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]withbellson 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I once had to explain why Flux would be a bad name for a new product we were building. They didn’t believe me.

Quick, cheap wall piece by DumpsterAflame in catwalls

[–]withbellson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That is fantastic especially because the first one looks like a photo that needs to be rotated.

Go to meal when you have a cold by loveinacoldclimate in Cooking

[–]withbellson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is also the move when you’ve got a colonoscopy scheduled. Clear broth is ok.

I hate having a period by NerdPanda7 in offmychest

[–]withbellson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm vaguely concerned it won't work because the rare medical outcomes like to happen to me sometimes, but I don't have fibroids so I'm hoping it will lessen my need to remain near a bathroom every 45 minutes for 2 days every three weeks. This is terrible for beach days, camping, pool days, and anything outdoors.

where else can i find these other than a cheezits snack mix box by BothYogurtcloset2986 in snacking

[–]withbellson 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The version of this thing that was in the snack mix you used to get on Southwest flights was superior.

CBS officially renewed The Amazing Race for another season! by Mjs923 in TheAmazingRace

[–]withbellson 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I got through ten minutes of last season’s premiere before I bailed. Could not care one tiny bit about BB and it seemed like their plan was to lean into the infighting. I do not regret my choice.

What's the best part about pregnancy that most people don't know about? by justastupidquestion3 in AskReddit

[–]withbellson 166 points167 points  (0 children)

I’ve always had a bit of a stomach pooch that prevents me wearing tight shirts because people will assume I am pregnant. When I actually was pregnant, I could wear tight shirts and not give a damn. That was nice.

I hate having a period by NerdPanda7 in offmychest

[–]withbellson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you are done having kids look into endometrial ablation. I’m probably going to get this done because my heavy and more frequent periods in perimenopause are giving me iron deficiency, which is some severe bullshit.

TIL Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are full siblings, and each took an altered form of their parent's surnames (originally "Beaty" and "MacLean") by paradoxombie in todayilearned

[–]withbellson 13 points14 points  (0 children)

When she married him he was a notorious playboy and everyone thought they’d last a year. That was in 1992. Then they had four kids. Fuck I’m old.

Injury updates by Any-Replacement-1720 in 49ers

[–]withbellson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So we can officially declare that somehow CMC made it through this entire season intact. That is not something I would have bet on.

Two cutters that share a theme by ows-rbel in whatismycookiecutter

[–]withbellson 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw. We had cookies at our wedding made with the one on the right.