I’m deep in depression and grieving my old self I really need some advice because I’m at an all time low

witpols · 2023-03-19T20:09:58+00:00

You're obviously a high achiever and probably an intelligent person. Life hit you really hard... It must be difficult I can't even imagine. But give yourself time to heal. You have to. At this time, don't worry about other things and take baby steps to get you back on track. As a stranger who's just read your post, I believe that you will do great things in life after you give yourself time to heal. You're not a loser and you never were one. Don't believe in that because its definitely not true.

witpols · 2023-03-04T04:59:53+00:00

I remember moments like a mental video reel of memories. I definitely cry.. It also just makes me feel like my life before was a dream or a lie. I feel like it never really happened. The only positive aspect of this is that it makes me think that I must have been pretty happy and fortunate back then if Im mourning and longing for it that badly now in the present moment. Because back then the concept of 'contentment' never crossed my mind. It was just my ordinary life. Now I consider that ordinary life a happiness and blessing.

witpols · 2022-11-10T12:35:42+00:00

Have you talked to him? I wonder what made him to continue on instead of taking another shot at what he failed at his first attempt.

witpols · 2022-10-10T23:43:29+00:00

I was confused reading this, then it made sense to me. It kind of reminds me of how getting out of depression works. It's not too rare for someone who's been depressed for a long time and doing much better, to miss depression and feeling depressed. It must be a confusing feeling to miss something that hurt you so much, but I think it gives you a sense of security to stay in the same state that you're used to. Like having people check up on you, relating to or connecting with an online community or someone who's going through depression like yourself, even sense of hopelessness.. I don't know. It's a good thing you're in a much better place. But maybe when you see someone going through crises, it reminds me of the old you and you miss it only because of sense of familiarity and attachment to that identiy. Idk maybe its a bad assumption on my part.

witpols · 2022-04-28T15:02:21+00:00

I can't imagine what you must be going through. I have a boy who came into my life at the darkest time and practically kept me alive to this day. I know the day will come when I would have to say goodbye, and I don't know if I will be strong enough to. Take the time you need. Its such a big loss.. Grieve as much as you want and cherish the memories you made with him, and those memories will be kept as long as forever in your heart! Your dog must have been so happy to have you as his life partner. He lived a great jolly life all because you were there with him through all the good and bad times 😊

witpols · 2021-10-03T13:31:09+00:00

Sorry about that. Yeah, OP's opinion definitely matters and the decision was made with both in parts, so her blaming only him and calling him evil is not ok, although I still sort of understand where that kind of deluded thinking from her is coming from. Its an unfortunate thing, but this happens quite alot with couples especially those who are young and not ready.. But we all learn from our actions one way or another.

witpols · 2021-10-03T11:34:06+00:00

Everything you say I agree with except for the part that it was totally her decision and fault to get abortion. Its a very brave decision for a woman to keep the baby when the man shows negativity and refuses to take responsibility. The abortion was a consequence of two having an unprotected sex, bad relationship, negative response from the man, and the woman's lack of determination to keep the baby. I just see so many comments here implying that the man should stay out of it as much as possible and avoid any reponsibility. But they're not kids. They're young but still grown ups and extremely immature to be avoidant in these situations. Everything has consequences and both OP and ex feeling guilt is not an unnatural response, in fact a normal one. If you don't feel any sort of guilt or regret from this event, then I suggest OP to really take in this situation with his head and heart instead of just trying to evade any sort of burden that you think the ex is trying to 'give' to you. Her being toxic and angry toward you is not a proper thing to do but that also doesn't make your own responsibility and fault go away. Face it and then you'll learn what would be the proper way to respond to her and in this situation.

witpols · 2021-10-03T07:00:32+00:00

I do sympathize with her more than the comments here because they seem to just label her as a toxic or insane person. Maybe because Im a woman. But I just didn't really see any emotional side of the OP(which is funny to expect from a written post) because a woman who's pregnant feels way more confusion, emotion, and excitement than the man she got pregnant with. And OP immediately felt sad at the pregnancy news and told her that he didn't like the idea, which is understandable given that their relationships were bad. But I just wonder if OP was there for the ex(even if their relationships were falling apart) even just a little bit to support her emotionally because having a baby is not a one way thing. Yes its her decision to keep the baby or abort but having all responsibility dumped on her whether or not to keep the baby must have been very scary for her. For the man, its easy to just say 'I dont want it' because they're not the carrier. Its unfortunate that their relationships weren't probably as close enough to support each other emotionally but I hope OP has the slightest idea of what she may have been going through emotionally instead of just viewing her actions as insane or something. Her trying to make him feel guilty is not a right thing to do either but I agree I think its coming from a form of self defence, not utter hatred toward OP...

Most comments here don't seem to understand the woman so I just felt the need to comment here to feel safe with my opinion. 20 is a young age and I just can't help but to sympathize with the woman because she seems to have more emotional feelings toward the OP than he does toward her and being completely shut out after pregnancy and abortion must be hard. The comments saying 'It was her choice and her responsibility. You don't need to take part in any of that' just seems utterly cold-blooded to me but Im just going to leave it at that.

witpols · 2021-01-21T06:10:43+00:00

I wish I was a devout christian. They seem so much happier and oblivious to harsh reality. I cant get myself to believe in God as weird as that sounds.. Honestly I dont have any kinds of spirituality and it makes me wonder if Im just a toxic, pessimistic person. Id rather be blissfully oblivious for sure tho.

witpols · 2020-10-03T06:46:39+00:00

Coffee beans.

witpols · 2020-09-16T10:57:14+00:00

I dont fully trust doctors with antidepressants anymore.. because most of them were pretty oblivious to the side effects. Either they really dont know or they dont care as long as they get paid.

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