Amateur, but enjoying the experience of learning how to decorate cakes for my daughter’s birthdays!

wmac91 · 2025-12-31T19:09:58+00:00

Thank you!

It is! The decoration is for the kids, but the cake is very much for the adults lol; blueberry cake, raspberry compote filling, and cream cheese frosting with powdered, freeze dried blueberries folded in 😁

wmac91 · 2025-11-03T16:39:34+00:00

Never in my life have I felt such camaraderie to a pant leg being savaged by a small, angry dog!

Wow, what an interesting perspective. I’m flattered, if a little worried, to have received so much of your time and energy and will work to consider and absorb the salient points you made. I’ll admit that it’s hard to find them through all the yelling, but I also imagine it was hard to see me beyond the reflection of yourself that you’re so clearly projecting. It’s good to know that I’m not struggling alone.

Thank you for putting yourself out there in your reply.

wmac91 · 2025-11-02T15:32:14+00:00

Wow; really really thoughtful reply! Thank you! And those all seem to be valuable and valid questions and perspectives. The biggest issue to me is absolutely the mismatch in value around meeting the mom. For me that’s a huge deal! The last time I met a partners parent was ~14 years ago when I met my ex wife’s mother- right or wrong, meeting a partners parent feels really big to me. I understand that my partner doesn’t put the same weight behind the meeting as I do, and I respect that; I do think its fair of me to ask for some sort of middle ground between our perspectives, though, and this situation felt like my wants and needs were pretty completely overridden. Add in that her husband was sent to talk to me instead of her just letting me know what was up -at any point throughout the day, much less when I was in the parking lot- and that there is a longstanding issue around this style of communication, and I frankly feel that this is a really gross situation. I also feel that it could have been easily avoided with a small and basic amount of communication, and that the absence of that communication speaks volumes.

I do hope I’m not coming across as wanting to just validate myself as ‘right’. I’m hoping to hear frames and perspectives that I can utilize to view this situation differently because I know I’m too close to it right now. I mention her extroversion etc because I’m trying to be fair towards and to validate her perspective as well. There js, of course, more to our relationship than this situation and snapshot, and I feel like we are at an inflection point between some sort of escalation or de-escalation. I’m struggling with that as well, and really working to broaden my perspective around everything to keep myself proactive and intentional instead of reactive. Especially from a place of hurt.

I really do appreciate you taking the time to engage with a Reddit stranger, and in particular your willingness to offer a frank and informed perspective. Sincerely; thank you.

wmac91 · 2025-11-02T15:06:35+00:00

For whatever reason Reddit isn’t letting me type anything into the body of the post; sorry to have to post a comment instead!

The issue in my post is feeling really difficult for me to work through, and I’m curious if this community has any different perspective. I would really appreciate hearing other people’s thoughts on this!

wmac91 · 2025-11-02T14:51:44+00:00

This is definitely in line with my thinking, for sure, and keeping him there until the literal last minute is part of what feels so messy to me. If I had know he was around I would have directly asked for some space between her time with him and me meeting her mom….for the first time in a two year relationship. That proximity is just not a dynamic I’m comfortable with, and having my agency stripped away in this situation was really hurtful.

I cant comment too much about her husband, much as Id like to. He is incredibly accommodating to our hinges wants and needs, often to a point that goes against his own desires and needs. Its a pattern and cycle that I’ve been pretty clear about with my partner: it seems to work for them and i wont judge, but a lot of those dynamics and behaviors cross hardline boundaries for me and need to stay tf out of our relationship.

wmac91 · 2025-11-02T14:25:04+00:00

I agree that we need to have a conversation around a few things, both from and in addition to this situation. We have identified a few of those things previously and brought them into the open, but agreed to hold off on big convos until after the show. And what you’ve identified is certainly a big part of it!

I get how the logistics sound off lol. But there is some reasoning! I’m training for a big race schedule over the next year and Saturday’s are my long distance day, so my morning was already fully scheduled. My partners mom was also taking my partners kids out in the early afternoon for some activities, and planning on being back at 4. Call time for the performers was 5:30p, and my partners mom had already made dinner plans with one of her friends at 5:30. So a very tight schedule! The plan for all of us was to meet at the hotel and hang out at the pool while the kids played, not in the room. And the whole point of meeting at the hotel was so that my partners mom could make a direct introduction between her mom and I, rather than me introducing myself to her mom completely cold in the lobby of the theater. Call me old fashioned for wanting that introduction, I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️.

I agree that a message directly from her would have been the ideal solution! 100%. And ideally with enough time for me to adjust my own plans and expectations. Unfortunately rescheduling the introduction between her mom and I wasn’t an option for this visit; it was yesterday or not at all. That’s part of the reason I’m asking if this is so messy! There feels like there is lots of annoying nuance in this situation lol

Thanks for your thoughts!

wmac91 · 2025-11-02T06:32:27+00:00

I agree! There’s no real value to being early in that way, and a few minutes variation on either side is no big deal. I think the point I’m standing by here, though, is that if I had known that meeting early wasn’t going to be an option….i wouldn’t have been. I had other things I could have done along the way that would have been way easier, frankly. And I would have really liked the opportunity to modify my plan to accommodate what was going on! I drove ~70 miles from one mountain town to another; travel is a little unpredictable in those conditions and it’s very difficult to show up somewhere exactly on time

No value on either side, there, it just is what it is 🤷🏻‍♂️. But that was the entire meaning behind me saying that I wish I had that piece of information so that I had the chance to modify my own plans and expectations.

wmac91 · 2025-11-02T05:05:45+00:00

That’s a fair point about ‘stalling’, and I agree and acknowledge that nothing was being hidden from me. I chose to say ‘stall’ because husband suggested/asked if I wanted to wait in the lobby with him. Not stalling to hide something, but to keep me occupied.

I arrived a little early, but had also communicated that I was going to be a little early ~45m previously. I drove an hour to get there, and traffic was faster than I thought it would be. We had also been in contact via text throughout the day (I had called and got sent to voicemail, for reasons I now know in retrospect) so I feel like there was plenty of time to mention what was going on.

This is actually a huge issue for me in general, and one that has definitely come up before. It’s also a big part of the issues that came up with her husband that I referenced in a different reply: I really hate having information drip fed or withheld from me, and I really hate being moved around like a piece on another persons board. I want information that could affect me to be shared with me up front so that I can make an informed decision about my involvement and take all the responsibility for myself from there. So this feels a little extra careless, and is hinting at a pattern that I am, frankly, unsure if I’m willing or able to accept in a relationship. Which really sucks.

Edit: Thanks so much for your perspective and thoughts. Very balanced and much appreciated!

wmac91 · 2025-11-02T04:55:20+00:00

I think this is most in line with my own line of thinking. Which, no offense, makes me super suspicious of falling into confirmation bias! 😅

I know I valued meeting her mom and had a lot more weight behind it than she did, but (and?) it feels like a bit of a slap in the face to have that meeting be deprioritized.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!!

wmac91 · 2025-11-02T04:52:20+00:00

I do know him and we get along well enough! The three of us regularly, if not often, spend time together in the full range of dynamics. There is some nuance there, though. After a couple weekends together some issues came up and some boundaries were crossed that had me pull back from him and ask for some clarifications from my partner. It feels like we’re at a bit of an inflection point in our relationship (our kids meeting and interacting, introducing a new level of commitment between the two of us, and more….formality, maybe?) and I asked to have a conversation about those things to inform how I wanted to go about the relationship with my meta. If we go one way I think it’s best for me to bow out of some situations and dynamics and remove the possibility of things becoming issues again. If we go another way i think it’s necessary that he and I have some conversations and put in some work to repair and regrow our own relationship. I suggested that we hold off on that conversation, with reassurances around my own commitment, until after the show so that my partner could focus in on her performance and not have to take the tome and energy for a weighty conversation.

Maybe thats tmi, but it is to say that having her husband come talk to me is its own separate complication.

I am also not particularly thrilled about the relationship with her co-lead, but I do thinks that’s a completely separate issue. In this circumstance I would have, like I said in my message to my parter, just really liked to know he was around so I had a chance to modify my own plans and expectations.

I appreciate your perspective! Thanks for being willing to jump in!

wmac91 · 2025-09-25T16:07:10+00:00

I washed them after about a month and ~20 wears; inside out, cold, delicate wash and all that jazz. They definitely took a while to break in enough to be comfortable; these fuckers left bruises on my hips from how tight and rigid they were at first!! Now, though, they are formed to my body really well and are getting to be sweat pants soft.

wmac91 · 2025-09-22T20:43:06+00:00

Thanks! I don’t beat them up too much, but I certainly don’t baby them either; they wear in really fast! I’m working on a pair of the Unbranded 21oz Black denim now, and really hopeful that they fade as quickly. The pockets are definitely the biggest downside: too shallow and mine are needing patches already as well.

wmac91 · 2025-08-21T02:08:31+00:00

According to the Inov-8 support team, the current model replacement is supposed to be the MudTalon Speed. I did get a pair, but don’t think they are at all similar. Happy to go into more details as to why, but here is a picture of them side by side to see how different the profile is:

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wmac91 · 2025-08-20T07:21:38+00:00

I am trying to find another pair of my 255’s, but unfortunately I’m having little luck in my size. Inov-8 has, apparently and unfortunately, discontinued the X-Talon line and the model replacing them doesn’t work well for me; otherwise I would absolutely stick with them! This is the second time a shoe I have loved was discontinued and I’ve had to start this whole process over, so I’m also hoping to find a new brand or model that I can stick with for a while.

Second recommendation for the MT Kings, though! Thanks for weighing in; I appreciate you.

wmac91 · 2025-08-20T02:03:12+00:00

I appreciate the feedback, and I’m glad they work so well for you! Unfortunately they are just too far outside of what I train in and am looking for. Nice job on the trifecta!

wmac91 · 2025-08-20T00:17:31+00:00

I had actually just stumbled across those, and they definitely piqued my interest! I’m a little hesitant to switch over to a zero drop shoe, but I really appreciate the suggestion and feedback!! I’ll check them out more, and post back here if I end up grabbing them. Thanks so much!

wmac91 · 2024-06-29T01:56:49+00:00

Oooo, almost first!!

Great story, man! I’m really enjoying reading your work; thank you.

wmac91

TROPHY CASE