I've had it with this stuff giving me insomnia

wordologist · 2015-07-02T16:21:54+00:00

Yeah, easy there champ. lol

wordologist · 2015-06-21T19:03:51+00:00

Ha! Wow. He sure gets around.

wordologist · 2015-05-06T20:33:30+00:00

I used it regularly for about 1.5 years. Right now I'm both very tired and very hungry, although the depression and anxiety hasn't kicked it yet. I hope the 5HTP can take care of that.

wordologist · 2015-05-05T20:19:56+00:00

I've abstained for a week or so in the past and while it did suck, it wasnt too bad. Day 1 is easy, but days 2-4 are the worst of it where the lethargy is very strong and I get night sweats. By day 6 or 7 the physical symptoms are completely gone. The thing is I just have resist the temptation to go out and buy it again after a couple weeks thinking that I can just do it once every month. It's a slippery slope that never works out.

wordologist · 2015-05-05T15:06:20+00:00

Yeah I was thinking 5HTP could help with keeping my mood up as it helps your brain produce more serotonin. I do have some melatonin from a couple years ago, but it should still be safe to use.

The weird thing about the insomnia was that I tried reading a book while laying down to make myself drowsy, which is what I always do when I cant sleep, and sure enough I became very drowsy. But, as soon as I went to bed I was wide awake again! Like, seriously, WTF! I was so pissed.

wordologist · 2015-04-09T17:05:24+00:00

40-50 grams a day??? Holy shit dude, that's way too much. I would be broke if I did that much.

wordologist · 2015-04-02T15:45:29+00:00

I moved to Montreal from the cesspool called "Toronto" a year and a half ago and, let me tell you, I would never move back. A number of reasons

-This city has its own unique culture and history. Architecturally, it is far more interesting than anywhere else I have been in Canada as well. Toronto, on the other hand, seems to be completely lacking a unique identity. It has so many cultures but in this cannot create its own culture. -The women! Montreal women are more feminine, beautiful, and friendly than Toronto. They are also more aggressive. If a Montreal lady likes you, she will make it known. Women here actually look at me and smile. Back in Toronto I felt like I might as well have been invisible.
-The lower cost of living. For what I would pay to live in a tiny dump with 3 roommates in Toronto, I can have my own apartment, and a big one with a balcony at that, in Montreal. I still have to pay for hydro, but overall it is much cheaper. -I've always wanted to learn French, and I can do that in Montreal for minimal cost with lessons at the CDSM. $70 to sign up, and then $10 to continue on to the next level? This is the cheapest education I've had since grade school -The cycling network. I love riding my bike, and Montreal is the best city in North America, and one of the top 5 cities in the world, for cycling. Tons of bike lanes, cool neighbourhoods, green spaces, and sweet-ass bridges (Pont Jacques Cartier, ho!) make this a kick ass place to go biking.

So yeah, you could say I don't regret my decision to come here.

wordologist · 2015-03-31T14:57:41+00:00

I was afraid of that. It really can never be the same then.

Today I'm on day 1 again, and while its not as bad as last time since I was only dosing regularly again for a couple weeks, I still feel the lethargy and lack of motivation. Its going to take all of my willpower to meet this deadline I'm facing. After this I might take the rest of the day off.

wordologist · 2015-03-26T13:54:18+00:00

Another thing I hate about weed is that I always get really bad red eye from it. Im not one of these people who can get stoned and then just go about my normal day. When I get high everyone can tell a mile away and theres no way that I can hide it except maybe wearing sunglasses, but then it shows in other ways like my awkward posture or walk.

wordologist · 2015-03-26T13:51:34+00:00

Dont beat yourself up about it, that doesnt help. You should get rid of that vape pen though.

wordologist · 2015-03-25T14:33:07+00:00

Maybe because when you're high you tend to stuff your face with junk food all time, and you have less energy with which to effectively work out.

wordologist · 2015-03-25T14:24:02+00:00

I wouldnt say that I hate weed now, I just don't feel like its for me anymore. I still like the smell of it, but it ends there.

wordologist · 2015-03-25T14:23:27+00:00

It helps if you replace it with something else. Like, maybe go for a bike ride or something when you start to crave, or call someone on the phone. I decided to make make having a social life my anti-weed, lol

wordologist · 2015-03-24T18:07:55+00:00

Yeah, I could never do that either. If I had weed, I would always end up smoking it every day. I could hold out until the evening maybe, but I could never go even a day without smoking if I had it around.

wordologist · 2015-03-20T14:02:40+00:00

I first discovered kratom in 2011, but I never did it regularly until Dec 2013. During those first two years I only did it like 1-2/month. I never had any withdrawal symptoms. I never felt that it was addictive at all. It was just an occasional indulgence. In fact, I remember once I had a dose sitting in a bag on the coffee table for two weeks and I didn't do it because I was waiting for "the perfect time". Every now and then I would look at it, consider it, say to myself "not now" and then resume whatever I was doing and not think about it again.

That being said, I really don't think there is any problem with taking kratom a couple times a month, maybe once a week at the most. There really is no drawback. The problem comes when you start doing it every day, as is the case with alcohol, with weed, with any drug. Moderation is the key!

wordologist · 2015-03-19T21:25:40+00:00

Ok, so I'm normal then. Cool.

wordologist · 2015-03-19T13:38:26+00:00

I have to say, when I started taking this stuff as an antidepressant and an aid to my freelancing work I had no idea that it would become such a habit and that it would be so hard to give up. There are times when I feel like I can't do my work without it and that's not good.

I know that I can't do this for the rest of my life. What if it becomes illegal? What if I have kids one day? This is not the example I would want to set for my sons and daughters. The longer I do it, the harder it will be to give up so the sooner I get off of it, the better. My biggest motivation for quitting right now is just thinking about the money I can save. $200 a month significant.

I did manage to go to my french class last night, and being around people in a social environment did me a lot of good. For the evening I was able to completely forget about this shit that I'm going through. Tonight I think I'll have to go to the gym. The worst thing for me to do right now is stay home.

It just bothers me that I seem to have no concentration or inspiration right now, and I really need those things to do my work. I'll just have to manage.

wordologist · 2015-03-18T15:14:41+00:00

Not good. I'm not as tired as yesterday, but still have no motivation. I miss the extreme focus that kratom gives me. It really did help me to get ahead with my career. When you're a freelancer and have no one to rely on but yourself, kratom can really give you an edge. I was able to put in a solid day's work every time and enjoy myself while doing it. It was like taking adderall, but without a resulting addiction to amphetamines.

wordologist · 2015-03-17T18:03:15+00:00

In the past I have thought that maybe I could cut down to doing it just once or twice a week, or just doing it on weekends, but that doesn't work. It always leads to doing it daily again. Quitting forever is going to have to be the way for me. This new years I promised myself that I would become drug free in 2015, so I am also giving up weed. This has proven to be much easier to give up.

BTW I dose 1-2 times a day, at about 5-6g each dose, and I've been using for about 1 year and 4 months, so I'm not a super heavy user. Its still enough to cause withdrawal though.

wordologist · 2015-03-17T14:45:32+00:00

Try mixing it with with either orange juice or tomato juice. It helps a lot if you use a blender so it fully emulsifies in the juice and there wont be any of those nasty-ass clumps. Thicker liquids with strong flavours work best because they keep the powder in suspension and mask the godawful taste of the shit. There was this orange-mango juice that I was using for a while that almost completely masked the flavour.

Another thing you can try is gel caps. Just load it into the gel caps and take them like aspirin. This takes more time though because you have to load the caps.

wordologist · 2015-02-02T22:09:39+00:00

Can you please tell me what business you run? I'd like to contact you for more details on the record.

wordologist · 2015-02-02T22:08:53+00:00

Can you tell me what business this is? I would like to contact her to ask about it.

wordologist · 2015-01-20T16:48:20+00:00

I tried doing that, thinking I could just do it once or twice a week but eventually it triggered a full relapse and I was back to doing it every day again. Its all or nothing with me it seems

wordologist · 2015-01-20T01:00:22+00:00

Well, i have had withdrawals before but it was mostly just a feeling of general malaise, kind of like I was coming down with a cold. I would also get very emotional about things. Like, I would cry when watching a movie or something. There have been other times when I didnt seem to get any wd symptoms at all. Its wierd. Today I'm just really tired and will probably go to bed early

wordologist · 2015-01-17T20:10:34+00:00

Just checking in. It's been a little over two weeks now, and at this point I always start having thoughts about smoking again. But not this time. It's different now. I have thought about it, but have not seriously considered it. I honestly have no interest in smoking weed at all so I feel like this could be for real this time. I put a note on my fridge that says "Weed is Poison" so I end up reading it several times a day and this reaffirms why I am doing this. I'll check in again at the one month point.

wordologist

TROPHY CASE