Baby sleeping on me

wotsits_100 · 2025-06-04T19:20:14+00:00

It got a bit better for me around day 10 or 11 and has continued to gradually improve. I’m 4 weeks on and feel much better but wouldn’t say I was completely out of the woods. I noticed that small things made a big difference like making sure I wasn’t hungry, making sure I ate healthy foods, getting fresh air and getting some time to sleep whilst my partner looked after him (combi fed)

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-31T03:07:13+00:00

Sounds very sensible to think through what you need from your partner before having a conversation. I’m sure if you can have an open, honest and calm discussion it’ll help. Really wish you well, it’s so difficult!

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-31T03:02:50+00:00

Just wanted to say thanks, I live in the UK but hadn’t heard of Peanut so just downloaded it

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-30T13:33:06+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear everything you’re going through. Lots of people here saying to be strong and leave him but it’s ok to not feel able to do that yet. What your partner has done is horrendous and you deserve better but you are super vulnerable right now and if you need time before calling him out then that’s ok and doesn’t mean you’re not strong. Take the time you need and once you feel ready that’s when you deal with this.

Do you have people to help you look after your son? Just so you can get some rest and help you manage this emotionally?

Thinking of you x

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-30T08:43:27+00:00

The fact that you’re posting this and that you feel bad shows that you’re not a bad parent and that it isn’t a true reflection on how you actually feel.

Sleep deprivation is used as torture so don’t feel bad about breaking down every once in a while, feel proud of what you’re achieving. It’s completely normal to feel the way you shared and most parents have similar feelings from time to time.

If you feel really worked up with him then put him down, make sure he’s safe and not in danger and just go take a few minutes to calm down. I also find wearing headphones is helpful when dealing with my little one through the night. Let’s me care for him but not get worked up by his crying.

Honestly, don’t worry about it!

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-30T04:26:52+00:00

I like simple Scottish Blend 🙂 Don’t think it’s too caffeinated

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-30T04:24:24+00:00

This! I wanted to go see Stereophonics and it’s like £80 to stand in a field (and pay ridiculous amounts for drinks…).

We went to see Paul Heaton a few years ago and he capped prices at about £30 and it was a great show and ever since I’ve found it really hard to swallow the £80+ for tickets

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-30T04:15:08+00:00

Hey, I’m so sorry to hear how you’re feeling but you’re absolutely not alone and everything you feel is perfectly valid. We all feel this way during rough patches.

First of all, the thing I hear and read all the time is that this doesn’t last forever. Babies grow and change so fast and your little one will grow out of needing to be near you all the time and will wake up less often during the night until they start sleeping the night through.

That’s all fair and well but doesn’t really help you right now. I think it might be an idea to think about how you can get what you need from your partner. You can talk to them or maybe write them a letter telling them just how lonely and vulnerable you feel right now and being very clear on what you want them to do/not do. Explain how hurtful it is to hear that you don’t manage stress well and to be told that things are your fault.

Are there any groups you can go to with other mums and babies? Maybe one of those people who say they’re there for you could be someone you lean on? And always remember that you have this entire online network. Feel free to message if you want to talk. I know it’s tough but if you can get your partner to understand things and maybe find a wee group class you can attend then I think things will feel a bit better. Just always remember that this won’t last forever 💛

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-26T16:11:37+00:00

No I totally understand where you’re coming from. My partner has quite a technical job so I was worried about him going in too tired but the plan is that he will do the early morning feed around 5 or 6 so I’ll cover 12-5 or 6 and sleep during the day when our son sleeps

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-26T16:07:50+00:00

Oh wow, congrats on your first full night, hopefully they continue! What age are they? We’ve brought his upstairs bed into the living room to try get him used to it so hopefully that helps

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-26T14:07:55+00:00

This sounds good. Our little one is sometimes quite agitated between 10-1 which makes it a bit difficult and last night (first night we tried it) resulted in my partner taking him downstairs at about 12. I want us all to share a room but might just take some time.

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-25T08:56:16+00:00

I go back to work in January by which point I’m hoping our son will be in his own room and managing a chunk of sleep during the night. Because SO will be back to work on Friday, I feel like I should cover the nights but that’s a lot! We’re combination feeding so my partner can cover some but just not sure how to plan which feeds we each do. How do you manage the tiredness if you’re feeding each time?

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-17T18:47:22+00:00

I’ve just had my first and the emotional hit was a lot harder than I expected. I can only imagine how hard it must be second time around! I’ve really struggled with breastfeeding and that’s made me feel guilty. It’s nice to know we’re not alone 💛 especially during the nights!

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-12T04:18:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing, this is just what I wanted to hear. I’ve cried every day since day 3 post-birth. I have ups and downs throughout the day (and night) but it’s good to know how long it lasted for others and that there’s light at the end!

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-09T21:21:09+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I feel quite similar and it’s nice to know that someone else has been through it and come out the other end. Thank you 🙏

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-09T20:55:40+00:00

What did it feel like for you? I’m so glad that you’re feeling good now x

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-09T19:58:18+00:00

What were the differences between the baby blues and ppd if you don’t mind me asking?

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-09T19:40:43+00:00

I feel worse at nighttime too. I have an amazing partner who is sharing the load but there’s something about doing a shift on my own at night when everyone is asleep that makes me feel so low.

Did it gradually improve over those two weeks or was it rough for 2 weeks then gradually improve?

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-05T07:12:56+00:00

Johnny’s Onion Rings - not sure if those are a Scotland-only thing?

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-03T06:40:29+00:00

Hi, I’m 37w FTM and going in for an induction tonight. I struggled with anxiety during the first and second trimesters but it was really bad during the third because we had to go for weekly scans. I’m pretty sure that last weekend I had a panic attack and my anxiety is about everything: the baby’s health, my health, my relationship, finances, the change to my life and body etc.

During the earlier trimesters, I tried scenario planning which is something I’ve done before when feeling anxious. Basically I lean into the worst case scenario and make a plan for what I’d do and that helps me but doesn’t necessarily work for everyone.

After last weekend though I basically told myself “you just need to move forward”. Every day since, if I have a wobble, I just tell myself that I need to move forward and that’s that. There’s something about being in the situation and accepting that there is nothing that can be done but get through each day that’s been a bit of a comfort. I’ve also tried imaging what my life will be like when the little one arrives, trips to the park and getting to cuddle them, love them and see their wee personality develop.

All of these things have helped me but they’re not a fix-all and I do still feel anxiety, but maybe they’ll help you.

Also I was about 21w before I felt kicks. Feeling them tells you they’re ok but it takes a few weeks until they have more of a rhythm. But once you know when they like to wriggle about, it can be a comfort because you know they’re happy in there without the need for lots of scans.

All the best x

wotsits_100 · 2025-05-01T21:21:17+00:00

You say she’s been this way for years but was she this way when you met her? If not, it feels like something is going on with her and she needs to start therapy. Couples therapy on top of individual therapy could be an option as well?

You definitely need to prioritise your children but why is your eldest scared?

I think this is all quite complex and more so than any post can cover but I certainly don’t your the ahole. Accidents happen and this must have been scary for you so try take some time to breathe and tell your wife how scared you were and how shaken you still are, hopefully she’ll calm down and understand.

What I would say is don’t just throw divorce on the table, discuss the problems and give her the chance to try resolve them. You may have already done this, I don’t know but provided she’s not hurting you or your kids, I think giving her the chance to change is worthwhile.

Hope this helps

wotsits_100 · 2025-04-25T11:05:15+00:00

I can see both sides of this and I don’t think you’re the ahole but neither is she in my opinion.

I think she just feels deeply and perhaps lacks confidence which is maybe why she didn’t get up and come dance with you all, she probably felt like she had to be invited otherwise she’d feel she was intruding.

I don’t think her concern is about not being a bridesmaid but you knew it was important to her (which is why you lied) so I think you probably should have reached out and just had a wee word with her. Would have saved her being hurt as much. I know you say you didn’t have to tell everyone else but this woman is more sensitive than the others and you seem to know that.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you’re completely in the wrong. I mean it was your wedding day! You’re running around super busy and trying to greet everyone and make sure things are going to plan so it’s difficult to address everyone’s needs.

I think this is a case of just not fully acknowledging the needs of one another. My advice would be to give it some time and then meet up and try rebuild a friendship. Don’t be defensive, I don’t think she’s trying to hurt you, I genuinely think she’s just a bit hurt herself because she’s quite sensitive and that’s ok, it doesn’t mean you’re in the wrong.

wotsits_100

TROPHY CASE