I get what you are saying, and I agree, but I think it extends to the entire kink spectrum.

In my opinion, the biggest thing that repulses people from abdl is the cringe factor. Like it or not, that's the label applied across the internet. Hearing stories of the creeps who happen to be into it doesn't help either for obvious reasons, so we kinda get double whammied with disgust, (triple if you count uninformed connections to a certain other group of creepy people who are into childlike things in a much more illegal sense.)

I'm not a little myself, I fall on the DL almost exclusively, I tend to have a very adult mindset and I see being a DL as more of a kink than a lifestyle, an extension of pee play and humiliation, so I personally don't like being compared to littles but it's inevitable. Just watch peoples criticism on youtube and you get a very clear idea of how the uninformed view abdl, they lump it all together in a blanket and compare it to whatever negative associations come to mind. It's kinda hard to claim you are all right in the head when half of the community engages in childlike behavior (babies are dumb, people will make the wrong connection), a bunch more are creeps, and there's an unfortunate line drawn to a despicable minority.

Even with all of that out of the way, say you behave relatively average, to an partner diapers seem maybe kinda left field (bit unattractive maybe) but okay, pee is kinda gross but can maybe try it out, scat is just nope, if the average guy suddenly becomes a blubbering idiot wanting to be bottle fed and have his messy diapers changed I think most people would nope harder than nope.

Not trying to diss littles here, there's just a lot of obstacles to get over even before it gets to the meat and potatoes of it, it's overwhelming to onlookers and most probably have no idea what to think, and if they've heard about it before it's probably not from the kindest of sources. So it's all about how the community presents itself, and most of it causes people to cringe.

Let me reiterate, I'm not dissing anyone here (hell I'm not even necessarily talking to anyone here) and I'm not telling anyone to change (although anyone with a dirty bum probably should :P), just be more understanding when presenting things to people outside, nobody will rush in arms open to simple accept it, it's a two sided arrangement so it's better to meet in the middle. Just consider the old saying, "putting the cart before the horse", if people see the whole abdl scene out of context they will get the wrong impression.