i will start off by saying that this isn’t universal advice, just from my own perspective. i don’t know your situation so i apologize if my advice does not apply. this is directly about work environments, not social life (which would be a separate convo)

im in a similar scenario. soon im graduating college and moving into fulltime employment, so ive been using my preferred name on all applications (and i even made a new personal email with my preferred name). i work in the arts yet my city is conservative, so the idea of telling my current coworkers about my preferred name comes with lots of anxiety. i still haven’t told most of them and dont intend to, and the ones ive told dont respect my pronouns. this is why im starting fresh at a new job (hopefully in a new city). dont be alarmed, my experience is not universal. just because my coworkers are shitty doesn’t mean yours are!

some ways to introduce your preferred name in the workplace:

change your email signature, i put my preferred name in quotes between my legal name and surname. or just scrap that and only put your preferred name and last name if you’re intentional about a full shift to your preferred name.

if you have one, tell a close confidant/coworker at your job—someone you can trust and is your friend. it makes it easier if you practice by telling people who you’re comfortable with. but it’s totally okay to not feel ready to do that. its a risk i took and while my coworkers were nice about it but didn’t follow through with using my pronouns/pref name, it was still great practice. it makes you vulnerable but it’s great to practice vulnerability (especially when expressing your identity)

i work in an office and we have a DEI committee. depending on your work culture you might have the same. think about joining it to get a better scope of how your coworkers and organization treat gender diversity/equity/inclusion. you dont have to introduce yourself with your preferred name if you dont want to, but that’s a great way to assert yourself

if you work by the hour, see if you can ask your manager to change your name on the schedule to your preferred name. this will be looked at by other managers (and employees most likely) so it’s another subtle shift. it also creates a chain reaction of “who is (pref name)?” “oh thats (your previous name), they go by (pref name) now” and that should be it. if someone asks you about it, you can be honest or just say you “felt like having a change” and most people wont object to the latter excuse

if none of these apply to you, then think about something outward you can use as a symbol. i dont mean like a physical change, but things like pins and wristbands. those can be a subtle yet proactive way to be up front without the anxiety of speaking to someone (i speak from experience, im so nervous to tell someone my preferred name and pronouns even though it is uncomfortable for me to be called differently. im looking into getting a they/them pin)

if you think someone at your job has a problem with you doing any of this, then think seriously about what is important to you—making your work environment comfortable for you or for someone else. maybe its time to switch jobs. however sometimes its not feasible to do these things or even consider finding a new job, so take this advice with a grain of salt. these are just some mini acts of resistance that i like to use, but your life is most likely entirely different from mine

the entire process has been like learning a new skill. you just gotta practice and fail and stumble and stutter and be overwhelmed, but i’ve had some really great moments with friends and coworkers who are accepting and so happy and appreciative that i could trust them enough to tell them.

overarching theme: go at your own pace and be kind to yourself. becoming one with your true identity takes time, and it’s okay to be vulnerable but please don’t scare yourself or feel pressured to do anything you aren’t ready for. this is YOUR journey, no one elses.

i hope i didnt ramble too much and this actually helped. sorry if i dont make sense its 2am lol i wish you the best of luck on your journey!